How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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Last night I got the news that an old friend had passed on. She was a few years older than me, so this is not unexpected in my age demopgraphic, and she was a longtime smoker. This was someone who was a very formative person in my teens and early 20s, and she administered some (metaphorical) asskickings that I definitely needed at the time. Finding someone who basically helps you get over yourself, grow up and act like a reasonable person when they're not obligated to do that is a rare gift. I miss her, and hope whatever afterlife she wanted to travel to is absolutely perfect. 😣 Maybe I'll see her again someday.
 
The News Crews said:
From a young age, I knew this world would be evil and cruel. But I never expected it to be this gay and stupid.
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Realizing that nobody knows what they're doing and are also confident in that fact made things so much easier to understand but was also so fucking disappointing.
 
My hovercraft is full of eels.

Wait, that's not the right translation.

My truck is full of trash. It's trash weekend. Like most people I have weekly trash pickup, but over time some stuff doesn't fit like broken plastic crap, packing material, scrap construction wood, etc. So, every 6-12 months I load up the pickup with all the trash bags and take them to the dump in the big city(tm) because it's cheaper than the local guys. It's all loaded, some got some water so I had to poke holes and drain them but the pickup is now in the garage abusing the dehumidifier to try and reduce the weight a bit. Whole garage now smells of musty garbage bags. Need to strap it down still, and I think a couple bags will end up in the back seat due to waiting a bit too long for this trip. Then later this week, off to the dump.

So, things going well, didn't accomplish much else. Far behind on moving the office from the living room to the new office room but at least all the broken plastic crap that was in there is gone.

And now back to Babylon 5 and work tomorrow, where supposedly, maybe, finally, I'll have some actual work to do again. The downside is that our large customers move at the speed of molasses in getting things started. Also I know about the molasses flood, don't @ me.
 
My vacation ended, for a week I lived, like truly lived in a way haven’t in a long time.

Now, burned (second degree ones on each shoulder), hungover, raw emotionally and nursing the heartbreak from my vacation fling, I’m going back to my life with a little bit more colour forced into it.

Then get this, on the flight home, my Spotify God gave me “Caribbean Blue” by Enya and not gonna lie, it uncorked the rest of the emotions and I smile cried.
 
My life is good- very good- but I keep getting random moments of disassociation.

I think it’s because something chronic I had was cured- something I’ve been suffering from for decades- so I cannot fixate on it anymore.
It used to cause me constant agony, too.

So my brain pretty much goes static mode.
I’m trying to stop myself from it happening (cutting screen time) but I’m in a state of shock. It’s good, positive shock since I’m healthy but it’s weird.

It’s giving me insomnia. Luckily my dreams aren’t horrific anymore when I finally do sleep but since I’m not suffering anymore I’m not trying to block out my pain before I sleep so my brain just goes into random thoughts or blank mode and it just keeps staying awake

Being human is weird.

LonesomeDud said:
A friend keeps bringing up his alternative sexuality stuff, and I think we might have to stop hanging out.
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I’ve cut several friends out of my life for this very reason. The only way they learn that they’re gross is from ghosting tbh.
 
Had an awful night, to put it mildly, and didn't get any sleep until 8am. Dog had stomach issues and I had to take her for two walks while addled up on sleeping aides.
Now she's got the deadliest gas I've ever smelled from her, I suspect she's lactose intolerant or the artificial sweetener in some skyr yoghurt I let her lick the remnants of from a bowl is giving her gas.
I'm giving her away for free. She's 10, mild mannered but sassy (and gassy :briefs:)
 
PetiteFeet said:
Had an awful night, to put it mildly, and didn't get any sleep until 8am. Dog had stomach issues and I had to take her for two walks while addled up on sleeping aides.
Now she's got the deadliest gas I've ever smelled from her, I suspect she's lactose intolerant or the artificial sweetener in some skyr yoghurt I let her lick the remnants of from a bowl is giving her gas.
I'm giving her away for free. She's 10, mild mannered but sassy (and gassy :briefs:)
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Don't want to be all reddit here but you have to be very careful with letting dogs try anything that is artificially sweetened, dogs can die from xylitol (cats too, i think) and it doesn't need much to make them RIP from that.
 
Watching this thread whilst making massive logs right now.
I had a spicy cheese burrito yesterday and I am fighting for my life.
 
The Feline Solution 2 said:
Don't want to be all reddit here but you have to be very careful with letting dogs try anything that is artificially sweetened, dogs can die from xylitol (cats too, i think) and it doesn't need much to make them RIP from that.
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I'm aware and I double checked the yoghurt, it's "just" aspartame and not xylitol. That's what I get from wanting to stop eating sugar, and wanting to treat my spoiled brat of a dog.
Plus she's a senior dog, even if her physical performance doesn't let that on. No more artificially sweetened crap for her.
 
An interaction that I was DREADING today...occurred without blood being spilled, for which I am grateful. Holy shit was I terrified and trying not to catastrophize. It went fine. Maybe I'll actually be okay today.
 
Tried to return my Raycon head phones under the 30-day carefree guarantee after having an e-mail exchange with one of their support drones. He told me they don't send out return shipping labels to people outside of the US and canada but they would reimburse me $10 on shipping. Went to my country's biggest parcel deliverer and got told it would cost a whopping 51€ to send the packet back, insured. Thanks, Obama. Needless to say i won't be sending the head phones back and will be pawning them on eBay instead. Wrote to the support drone just now to cancel the refund.
However eBay is giving me shit right now, probably because of VPN usage, and isn't letting me put my shit online. Insert Lao Yang.png.
 
The Feline Solution 2 said:
Tried to return my Raycon head phones
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I fell for the Raycon scam too. I'm not an audiophile by any stretch of the imagination since I've had tinnitus in both ears for my entire life, and it's just getting worse as I get older. But even for me and the constant cicadas buzzing in my ears, Raycons sound like shit. Best of luck to you trying to get rid of them, but I wouldn't hold my breath.
 
Nick Bockwinkel's Belt said:
I fell for the Raycon scam too. I'm not an audiophile by any stretch of the imagination since I've had tinnitus in both ears for my entire life, and it's just getting worse as I get older. But even for me and the constant cicadas buzzing in my ears, Raycons sound like shit. Best of luck to you trying to get rid of them, but I wouldn't hold my breath.
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I'm banking on the fact that it's Christmas soon and maybe some rube will take them off my hands. I already half-settled for having them on my desk in a box for the rest of my life, reminding me of my poor life decisions.

I also got Tinnitus on both ears, am also not an audiophile by any means but by God, the sound quality of those Raycon's is below dogshit. For a 80€ product (paid ~50€ with the BF deals, plus 14€ shipping) i expected maybe not a revelation in sound but at least a product that is more than serviceable and especially one that is better than my 10€ no name head phones. Haven't had buyer's remorse this bad in countless years.
 
I've slowly been coming to terms with how my unfounded fears of social rejection have effected my thinking for as long as I can remember. I've always been a neurotic worrywart but it wasn't until recently that I realized the worry was always about how I was recived by others. These worries then manifest themselves in paranoia. I've left a couple of my friends's party's early because I thought that everyone secretly hated me and they were all just pretending to be nice to me because they felt obligated too. It's the same at work, I think everyone believes I'm a fraud and are just avoiding confrontation. In both cases I am able to understand that both of these thoughts are ridiculous (in the case of work I recently just received a raise) but in the moment I can't help but feel terrified. I have never discussed this with any of my friends or family because I don’t want to worry them or think less of me. I don’t know what to do, I thought moving away from my parents would help but it hasn't. At this point I'm starting to think its just baked into who I am so there's no use into trying to "fix" it. I hate not being able to enjoy myself around others.
 
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