How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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WASR96 said:
CT scan shows that some of the spots on my lungs shrunk, but not all of them. Kinda figured this was going to be the outcome, but part of me was really hoping this bullshit was going to be over. I want to go on my companies training trip to Florida, I want to go visit my best friend in Montana, I want to go hunting again with my Dad, and everything I want to do just gets further pushed back to endlessly deal with this shit.
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What kind of hunting?
 
WASR96 said:
CT scan shows that some of the spots on my lungs shrunk, but not all of them. Kinda figured this was going to be the outcome, but part of me was really hoping this bullshit was going to be over. I want to go on my companies training trip to Florida, I want to go visit my best friend in Montana, I want to go hunting again with my Dad, and everything I want to do just gets further pushed back to endlessly deal with this shit.
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That shit sucks. You deserve better.
 
Dizzyuntildeath said:
What kind of hunting?
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Was hoping to bag a whitetail this year. I haven’t been able to go with my Dad the last three years and I was hoping to go this year since he's not going to get any younger.

AnOminous said:
That shit sucks. You deserve better.
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Thanks man. I cringed when my doc said "after we talk surgery, this should be the end of it" since I've heard that so many times this year and it's never true.
 
Found out my 80 year old aunt maybe kicking the bucket soon, life keeps on getting better and better. At least she made it to 80!
 
I feel really stuck between "I am lonely" and "people suck", while my job prevents me from doing things I enjoy. There is gotta be a solution that includes me staying alive.
 
My baby had his surgery and it went well. Now it's just waiting and hoping. I've been so unbelievably blessed throughout this entire thing, it's improved my view on humanity. I feel incredibly grateful.
 
Juan But Not Forgotten said:
I feel really stuck between "I am lonely" and "people suck", while my job prevents me from doing things I enjoy. There is gotta be a solution that includes me staying alive.
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Relatable. I have a deep misanthropy inside me that I think almost has to be rooted in loneliness, although I don't really feel lonely in my day to day life and have some reasonably good friends/family. I try to be an optometrist not a pessimist and that has actually helped me overall but I dunno man. On the real though never commit suicide everythang gone C alright cuh
 
I am scared because my 2 times knee replacement is hurting again. I'll call the surgeon next week and rest it in the meantime. It's scary because my bone density ain't the best and well, who knows what's going on?
 
Had to have a tooth pulled (Molar) for the first time, the only tooth I had a root canal done about 20 years ago and now coming to haunt me. After constant infections going on under it, it started to dissolve the bone underneath which started to cause some severe pain whenever I ate something, or rather putting pressure on the tooth.

So the only permanent option was to have it pulled. Dentist had to saw the tooth in half, then pull both roots seperately. So after some local anesthesia, dentist went to work and oh boy. First the tooth completely shattered when he tried to pull it since it was dead, so he started to pull the remains of the roots out and my fellow Kiwis, I never experienced this much pain in my life, I was literally seeing white and red flashes like some sort of hit indicator, but in real life.
After the first root he had to stop and apply more anesthesia, which did the trick. After he was done, I looked on the tray with all the tools and it looked like straight from a fucking Hostel movie, all the tools were covered in blood, MY blood, there were bits of teeth, complete with fleshy bits.

Anyway, He gave me some gauze which I had to bite on. Now, apparently there like a little bloodbag that forms in the wound that will aid in healing, and well mine formed outside the wound. So at home, that thing popped and flooded my mouth with blood and the one spare gauze he gave me didn't last long, so I had to use my girlfriends makeup removal cottonpads and jam them into my mouth. What an amazing experience.

Anyway, it's been 2 days and I can finally eat soft foods again, after barely eating anything the week before. My face still feels broken, but the pain is manageable.
Thank you for reading this rant and if you ever have to have a tooth pulled, by god, get enough anesthesia jammed into you.
 
Feeling better today. Was able to hop in voice chat with all my prior Gunship buddies and trash talk over vidya until 2am. Had a beer and waiting to watch the Longhorns play later tonight with my Dad and one of my brothers. My good Oncologist said I'm done with the outpatient appointments upstairs and sitting around until 10. From now on, I just go get blood drawn at labs and go immediately up to his office to see him. Glad someone is finally taking charge. Doesn't change anything about the conversation we're going to have to have this coming Friday, but I'm willing to take any escapism I can get at this point.
 
WASR96 said:
Feeling better today. Was able to hop in voice chat with all my prior Gunship buddies and trash talk over vidya until 2am. Had a beer and waiting to watch the Longhorns play later tonight with my Dad and one of my brothers. My good Oncologist said I'm done with the outpatient appointments upstairs and sitting around until 10. From now on, I just go get blood drawn at labs and go immediately up to his office to see him. Glad someone is finally taking charge. Doesn't change anything about the conversation we're going to have to have this coming Friday, but I'm willing to take any escapism I can get at this point.
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Who doesn't have cancer anymore? Knowing someone going threw it right know. I would rather gotten the news they have died. It's like watching someone in Schrödinger's cat box. I have to wait another year to do anything with them pretty much.
 
Quijibo69 said:
Who doesn't have cancer anymore? Knowing someone going threw it right know. I would rather gotten the news they have died. It's like watching someone in Schrödinger's cat box. I have to wait another year to do anything with them pretty much.
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Yeah, I hate how much it's impacted my family and friends the most, I hate adding undue stress to their lives. You're right about it feeling like being perpetually in limbo, I think that's the shittiest part about it. I hope your friend has a faster road to remission than I do so that he can get back to his life.
 
When I die, bury me with a heavy coffin lid, otherwise this child my wife wanted to have will drag me out of my grave by the ears to resurrect me for their personal entertainment. I don't want to spin anymore. I get that you're bored, but like a new thing. You will be surprised how much you may like it! Good advice for everyone!
 
WASR96 said:
Yeah, I hate how much it's impacted my family and friends the most, I hate adding undue stress to their lives. You're right about it feeling like being perpetually in limbo, I think that's the shittiest part about it. I hope your friend has a faster road to remission than I do so that he can get back to his life.
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This is pretty much why if I ever get cancer, I will never tell anyone I have cancer until I'm in remission. If it's really super bad they will know when I'm dead.
 
For the first time in months, I feel like my life's actually back on the right track. Decided I'd seen enough death for one lifetime (seriously, I lost count), left healthcare, and got a job in electronics manufacturing. Anything more specific than that would basically be doxxing myself since they're extremely niche components for high-end industrial, medical, and military applications, but damn is it nice to have enough money to actually live instead of just surviving.

I also feel like I'm actually contributing to society, rather than being moved down the payscale by my supervisor for refusing to commit neglect and abuse basic human rights in order to "speed up" the med pass. That gets old real quick. At least the place is under new ownership after the old company got reported by a few too many people for the state to ignore, but I have too many shitty memories to ever consider returning.
 
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Pretty damn happy right now. Watched two close friends get engaged, the proposal went perfectly, and got footage of it for them in the future. Feeling just very blissful.
 
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