How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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AnOminous said:
Just watched my dad die in front of me and get hauled off by EMTs so not particularly well. At least the last thing I told him was I loved him. And he said the same. I'm in the impervious cope phase where I can't feel anything but this is going to hurt soon.

I was the only person who could legally give the DNR if his heart stops again, but I deferred to the medical personnel in the family. The prognosis is grim.
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Sending you so much love. I'm so sorry this is happening... I hope your family are all around you at the moment and you can rely on them. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers!
 
Fine except for the fact that my allergies are going so nuts thanks to this sudden burst of warm weather that my boss thought I was really sick due to my face being so puffed up and red all over. I hate allergies.
 
Okay, but I spent Monday and Tuesday in a cardiac observation unit at the hospital. They think I've had two mild heart attacks (9/13 and 9/22). All of my labs are good for an old bat like me, except the one that may indicate artery issues, and it's only a borderline reading. I am lucky. This is treatable. It's the only medical issue I've ever had that scared me a little. I was able to shrug off the full knee replacement I had done years back and pretty much forget that I have it (also lucky), but this was different. Follow up is 10/6, will get to the bottom of this and fix it. Cats are fine, don't worry.
 
Update on the decorating, The paint sticks to everything except the roof I bought it for. Brand new utility knife blades aren't capable of cutting this wallpaper properly, the coverage calculator was a fuckin' lie also wallpaper has bubbled in places I'm so overwhelming and incomprehensibly buttmad I kicked my computer chair again.
 
Still sitting through my MSHA training. New boss sends me an email from my old company that basically says

"Oh dear God, we need an engineering resource for this site. Emergency support ASAP"

My boss asks me if I know what they are referring to.

"Gas fracking site where they purify natural gas through centrifuges at an extreme speed to purify it. They pump the clean gas into an abandoned salt mine for storage. 3 extremely large water cooled, diode bridge front end inverters, powering three large synchronous motors. Lots of redundancies. I commissioned them. But I'm in MSHA, so if I have to leave, they need to pay for my $400 replacement class"

Boss sends off an email to old company with my comments forwarded.

Their reply "Do you have anyone else?"

Either they are too cheap to pay $400 for my MSHA, or they are sick of paying me as a contractor.

I'm literally one of 5 people in the western hemisphere authorized to work on these stupid things. I told my boss.

"Please don't release anyone to the site. This is around $85 million worth of equipment. No offense, you guys don't carry enough insurance if something goes wrong."
 
Otterly said:
Oh those little fuckers. They’re usually in either your sink drains or your pot plants (houseplants, not weed… we call them pot plants.) anyway, bleach and hot water down the sink drains, and for the plants you can immerse the plant (soil and all!) in hydrogen peroxide and it’ll nuke them .
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They were also in my bedrooms. They're all finally dying off thanks to the exterminator.
 
Neat. The one medication that actually relived my pain and the fucking doc already removed it. Awesome, guess I just don't get to eat or sleep tonight. It was nice while it lasted, I guess.

Edit: Nevermind, at least for tonight. My RN is fucking awesome and got them to add 2 doses back for tonight so I can rest. Need to make sure I put her up for a Daisy award.
 
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Ok, I have been reaching my breaking point over the past few months, so I am going to go on a long rant about my life so I can get some things off my chest.

First off, it's the same online school, but it only keeps getting worse. Now I have a class that talks about business and people influential in your life, and it's only reminded me of how underprepared I am for college. The assignments will be things like "Who was a teacher or mentor who influenced you?" and I don't have an answer because I never had a teacher or a mentor, and my mom, being the lying buffoon she is, just uses ChatGPT to generate the replies. I do some writing, which is my strong suit, but usually she uses ChatGPT to rewrite it, which frustrates me a ton because not only does it make me feel stupid, but it's downright cheating, and my teacher is convinced that I am legit when really it's my mother who is using ChatGPT to commit academic fraud and lying about it to my teacher by claiming I did the work.

My teacher is a nice guy, and I enjoy his textbook choice, but everything else, like the quizzes and assignments, sucks so bad. And to make all this worse, I now had to do a group project, and my teammates aren't even contributing their videos. We were supposed to be on the deadline yesterday, but they missed it. This pisses me off because my stupid mother is rushing me and making this whole stressful ordeal about the group project and me being late when my teammates are the ones that are late. I also struggled initially with the idea of a group project because I have never done a group project in my life; it's completely foreign to me, and now the one time I do a group project, my group takes their sweet-ass time while my stupid mother is rushing me to finish my part that will most likely be written using ChatGPT.

This past year of online college, besides leaving me bitter and resentful, has left me with one question in mind that I initially brushed off when my cousin asked me it first semester: "Why am I doing online college?" And the only answer to that question I can provide is to please my mother, but I don't even care about that; I just don't have a choice to say no to online school. I tried to confront my mom about it many times, and she is convinced I will be a loser if I don't go to online college and reminds me of my homeschooled friend who became a NEET loser, but there's just one problem with that argument. I am a NEET loser. The only difference between me and him is the fact that his mom doesn't cheat at his online college. That's the only difference. When I was younger, I mocked my friend to my parents for being a directionless loser, only for the mirror to turn back to me, and now I am the NEET loser, and that realization is so infuriating because it didn't have to be this way.

If I wasn't homeschooled, instead of being stuck at home with my mother controlling my life, I could have moved off to college in a dorm away from home. Sure, college isn't perfect, and I wouldn't disagree if you called it a scam, but it is one of the only ways I could have escaped my mother, and now that escape door has been slammed in my face. My mom has already told me she plans for all 4 years to be online, and most likely she wants me to be an "entrepreneur" working for the family business, so I will never get to move away and leave my mother like other kids my age. While I am sitting at home miserable and angry, my peers are having the times of their lives at college. While I have to ask my mom's permission to even walk outside, kids my age are going to parties. While I can't even drive 10 minutes from home without my mother, other kids are driving all around their city unsupervised.

The biggest blackpill for me about this whole college experience is the fact that I will never get to grow up and be an adult. When I was a kid, I dreamed of growing up and moving away. I thought I would be the rebel leaving my controlling mother once I turned 18. Then I turned 18, and nothing changed. Now I am coming up on 20, and nothing has changed. While other people talk about leaving the house and going to college or the military at 18, I am terminally online and ranting on my computer screen. It's amazing how the problems and life I lived at 13 are almost identical to 19. There was no leaving. the house, no school, no friends, and no freedom, and there most likely will never be those things in my life until my controlling mother dies, and who knows when that will ever happen?

I feel completely stuck, and everything that gave me hope is fading away. I thought turning 18 was my golden ticket to freedom, and it wasn't. I thought college would give me freedom, and it didn't. I am now getting closer to 21, and it seems like nothing will change by that age either. This isn't normal, but I have no way to escape the cold reality of my life, and what makes this all worse is the fact that everybody thinks I'm normal and happy. Everybody thinks I am high-achieving in college when my mom is cheating in every class. Everybody thinks I am gifted and talented when I struggle. With basic schoolwork, my entire life is a lie that my mom forces me to live. If it wasn't for her, I would be living a good life. It's so sad that I don't want to party or do drugs; I just want normal things like friends, and I am denied that freedom when other kids get freedom and they use it to abuse drugs, and their parents don't even care what they do. It has made me incredibly bitter and resentful of my life.

It brings me so much anger seeing kids live my dreams because my dreams were entirely achievable if I wasn't homeschooled. I wanted to play sports, but I didn't get to, while my cousins and the locals from town always talk about how their kids got to play sports or achieve my other goal of going to the military, but I just have to hold back the tears and not be bitter and resentful as I see all the internet posts and TV shows referencing high school and even my mom telling me about how she got to play high school basketball and move away from her mother, but she thinks I have it better now. She did, and even though she got to move off to college and have freedom, I think this is where her overprotective behavior comes from. One time she talked about how she got drugged at a party and somehow sees that as what I want to do by having freedom. She also had a friend whose son became a drug addict when they left for college, so she sees that in me.

My mom thinks freedom equals bad things happening to me, but the real bad things happen because of my lack of freedom. My mom is worried that if I talk to people online, I will end up like Charlie Kirk's assassin, which is completely retarded. I could list every irrational fear she has about my future, but this post would go over the character limit, but to sum it up, my mom has a negative story for every instance of somebody's kid being free, and she applies that to my life. She has a story of a friend who got hooked on drugs or a kid who went to school and got raped by his teacher, but she ignores the consequences of practically enslaving your kid. and forcing him to be a terminally online weirdo who rots in his chair all day, but she thinks everything is ok because I smile in the pictures and attend online college. I would say it's irrational, but my mom and the word "rational" don't even fit in the same sentence. She is crazy, and she will never change.

TLDR: my life is miserable. My mom sucks; online college sucks; my dreams are dead; I am resentful of my upbringing, and I have no way of escaping my mom. Please give me advice.
 
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Bonzi Baptist said:
please give me advice
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My nigga there have been minimum half a dozen “you can fix your life, you are an adult” advice dumps here after you post another “I hate my mommy, why life not perfect ree” screed.

Literally do anything that isn’t complaining about mommy-did-this! Nobody has a gun to your head and is making you allow her to ChatGPT your college assignments. Nobody can stop you from walking out the front door and joining the military, or getting a job, or joining a local level sportsball team, except yourself.

I dunno by the cracked out typing if this is a drunk post or what, but get your shit together and fly free, you fucking weirdo.
 
I think I'm going to have to move soon which sucks ass because I like my apartment and it's pretty cheap.

But more and more homeless are hanging around and I got solocitated by a prostitute today.

Neighborhoods clearly going downhill so I gotta bail before the shootings start.
 
b39.webp
 
My granddaddy had EMS called on him for fever and shaking.

UPDATE: Mom said he got some tests done and they think it's a UTI. He looks to be staying overnight in the hospital.
 
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Dizzyuntildeath said:
That'll be $200.
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That could buy my mom enough Tylenol to ensure I get turbo autism.
Dizzyuntildeath said:
Hold up.
Hates his mom, says he can't escape her despite being an adult, new account, knew about niche Zoey stuff.
@#FreeRoss that you?
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I don't know who that is; I only know who Zoey is from reading community happenings posts. I also know plenty of niche stuff about many other topics not related to Zoey. I'm pretty sure that the #freeross guy doesn't know as much about lolcows as me. The fact we both hate our moms is merely coincidental.
 
Ratboy Genius said:
View attachment 7959799
meant to post this ages ago, then boom september is almost over too...
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This hits too close to home. I normally try to make a point to at least go somewhere on my birthday. Last year I went to my favorite amusement park by myself and it was super depressing. Yeah I went on rides, overpaid for some chicken tenders, but I was at the waterpark and just sat there. No one to talk to, no one to share with. Everyone else with big groups of friends or at least a girlfriend to share it with. They wouldn't let me on the ferris wheel without another rider so I went home. This year I didn't do anything for my birthday. I thought about going out somewhere, or making an effort to go to the beach, but I figured what's the point?
 
Rome's rightful successor said:
My back is doing a lot better, I no longer feel any pain from it but don't feel like I'm 100% back to normal.
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You really should see a doc if it doesn't get back to normal in the next week or so. Given your age and that it sounded like just a random thing, they'll probably chalk it up an anomaly and tell you to be ginger in the short-term but make sure you are smart how you move and keep up your muscle tone/ come back if it happens again or you don't get back to normal. Maybe give you some strengthening exercises (if so, do them). But - if there are bigger alarm bells for them, then it would be good to have gone in.

Just saying that though it might have just been a random bad set of coincidences, your back/ spine has (literally) potentially radiating impacts on your whole body, so the earlier you work to strengthen or address anything that might be going on, the better. Things seizing up so painfully aren't normal or ideal, and - again - though it may just be a fluke, it's worth doing what you can to know what you can and be as healthy as possible. Ime, when you're young, docs are rarely concerned about much, so maybe just getting checked out and then making sure you do what you can do to make your body strong is about all you can do. Certainly can't hurt (if you do it right).
 
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