/horror/ general megathread - Let's talk about movies and shit.

[The Blue Morpho]

Weapons was alright, not as good as Barbarian. I was worried I was walking into another Longlegs (i.e. a shitty movie) but was pleasantly surprised that it was no where near as bad.

I would say that I liked it pretty well overall but it had issues. To name a few:
-Too long. No reason for it to be over 2 hours. If you cut out 20ish minutes it would be much tighter and better paced.
-It's using the Pulp Fiction-style narrative of character focused non-linear chapters for no discernible reason. The story is not that complex, the mystery is not that hard to decipher, a more straightforward narrative style would have made this way more engaging and enjoyable.
-The themes of the film aren't well integrated. The movie is obviously about child abuse and the failure of authorities to deal with it. But for half the movie this isn't really connected to what's happening at all, and the other half its beating you over the head with it. Feels directionless at parts.

I think there is a cut of this movie that's a bit shorter and really damn good. But I will say the ending is excellent and I don't think I'd change a thing. The anti-Longlegs ending, really.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

There's something in the barn is an absolute classic. It's up there with Gremlins if you want a Christmas horror movie. A family of Americans move to Norway and piss off the Barn Elf (gnome) and then havoc happens. Really enjoyable 90 minute comedy horror. It's going on my Christmas go to movie list.

 

[Internet War Criminal]

House on Eden was absolute bottom of the barrel found footage. Absolutely nothing redeeming about it. Showing it to someone unknowingly should be a war crime. Raped by a pack of wolf/10

Hallow Road was… a disappointment. Really strong acting but the movie completely unfuckingravels at the end when it turns out that… both of them hallucinated and nothing was real and the whole movie was just made up all along? Then how the fuck did they know where their daughter was if she died before she could make a phone call? So fucking retarded. Saved by acting, but still, Raped by half a pack of wolf/10. Or maybe by a pack and a half, since it had so much potential but completely wasted it.

Currently watching Don’t Feed the Children and it’s promising so far. Hopefully they don’t fuck it up.

 

[Calandrino]

I liked Weapons because the title makes sense, and you don't have to wonder like, was the real Barbarian inside us all along? or something, they explain what the weapons are.

House on Eden was absolute bottom of the barrel found footage. Absolutely nothing redeeming about it. Showing it to someone unknowingly should be a war crime. Raped by a pack of wolf/10

What were you expecting? Because it sounds like the absolute worst shit imaginable, how did you manage to step on that clearly-marked landmine.

 

[Internet War Criminal]

What were you expecting? Because it sounds like the absolute worst shit imaginable, how did you manage to step on that clearly-marked landmine.

Whenever you finish most of this



When something comes up on your screen it doesn’t take much to think ‘Oh shhhit maybbe itssss gonna be gud?’

 

[Calandrino]

Whenever you finish most of this
View attachment 7808031
When something comes up on your screen it doesn’t take much to think ‘Oh shhhit maybbe itssss gonna be gud?’

Yeah I had a similar situation with We're All Going to the World's Fair. Drunk enough to watch the movie is still nowhere near drunk enough to actually enjoy it. The latter is seriously medically dangerous.

 

[Null]

I watched 28 years later. It was ok. Like I got what it was doing but the entire gas station scene was so fucking stupid it kind of ruined the film. It really doesn't help that they set up England as this sort of uber-dangerous hellhole that the governments of the entire world can do nothing about, and even stepping foot on it for a few hours runs you risk of being eaten by crawling zombies and smart zombies and fast zombies that are everywhere, and then basically the walk to the dude's place is a brisk jaunt without much danger except one zombie and a scene with the swedish guy that basically only detracts from the entire film. also the live baby birth is the dumbest thing i have ever seen in a movie. the placental barrier is very good at its job but a rotting corpse cannot sustain a fetus and the blood from childbirth would also infect it regardless of if it gestated to maturity. also am i to expect they would not immediately eat it? it's just dumb, it tips the entire film into abstract art where nothing can be accepted except as metaphor, which is poor film making when the plot is that there are actually flesh eating human corpses running around.

the best part about the movie is that literally everyone is white except the alphas who look like they're samoa or something. also i was really not expecting to see voldemort.

 

[vittek]

I can't believe you posted this without mentioning the ending.

 

[Lobster Cult High Priest]

the best part about the movie is that literally everyone is white except the alphas who look like they're samoa or something. also i was really not expecting to see voldemort.

That's only because it was a time capsule of 90s Britain while the rest of Europe was invaded by Subsaharans and Jeets (including Pakistanis)

Would still take the Zombies over Subsaharans and Jeets

 

[Null]

That's only because it was a time capsule of 90s Britain while the rest of Europe was invaded by Subsaharans and Jeets (including Pakistanis)

when the fuck has that ever stopped them? did you see the fallout show? supposedly 1950s America and you'd think it was fucking Brazil.

 

[PyrrhicRustle]

when the fuck has that ever stopped them? did you see the fallout show? supposedly 1950s America and you'd think it was fucking Brazil.

Ackshully the nuclear war in fallout happened in 2077, culture mostly just stagnated to a 50s aesthetic sensibility in the absence of as widespread microchip technology and more adaptation of nuclear technology, giving plenty of time for demographic shift.

I’m sorry for the autism.

 

[Seafarer]

when the fuck has that ever stopped them? did you see the fallout show? supposedly 1950s America and you'd think it was fucking Brazil.

Ackshully the nuclear war in fallout happened in 2077, culture mostly just stagnated to a 50s aesthetic sensibility in the absence of as widespread microchip technology and more adaptation of nuclear technology, giving plenty of time for demographic shift.

I’m sorry for the autism.

Off-topic but remember a wignat who got pissed at the amount of diversity in Fallout 4 since niggers are everywhere despite the game being set in Boston when, if the series wanted to be consistent with the ‘50s aesthetic, there should be basically no black people since most blacks lived in the south during that time period and only a small population existed in Boston, which 200 years after the apocalypse would presumably have been either wiped out or assimilated into the wider community. He made a mod to turn all the black people white and that pissed off the Nexus jannies despite at least having a compelling explanation for removing all the niggers.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

also the live baby birth is the dumbest thing i have ever seen in a movie. the placental barrier is very good at its job but a rotting corpse cannot sustain a fetus and the blood from childbirth would also infect it regardless of if it gestated to maturity. also am i to expect they would not immediately eat it? it's just dumb, it tips the entire film into abstract art where nothing can be accepted except as metaphor, which is poor film making when the plot is that there are actually flesh eating human corpses running around.

You know it's going to be the miracle baby with a cure for autism or whatever causes the rage zombies.

I watched Until Dawn. Never played the game, my co pilot for the movie had. They said it barely relates to the game but it's a let down of the worst kind. First act is excellent. Sets up a group to die, time loop where each loop has a different monster and you decay mentally and physically each time you die. Character drama is set up and.. Oh BTW this is loop 10 but we only showed you the first 3 and used a montage for the rest. Totally ruins the movie by throwing away the entire concept, skipping the 2nd act entirely and having a piss poor third act. The first act has some really good kills, it builds up a good sense of tension and the world being unstable. But then it abandons it all for a girl boss to do the obvious thing to have done on night 4 once they knew how things operated and were able to make plans..

Frustrating to have something so good go no where. It sets it's self up really well. It feels like an 80s or 00s slasher movie in the build up but then puts all the good stuff off screen instead of using a timeline to set up lots of different ways to kill the man cast and have the main cast start to look more deformed and monsterous until they can start fighting back with their own monster powers.

Act 1 is a 8/10
Act 2 and 3 are a 3/10

I would watch it for the first hour and tolerate the later half.

 

[Your Starter for 10]

Yeah full agree on Until Dawn. The cast was about half as annoying as most modern "youth" casts. Still not likeable like they should be, but you didn't want to immediately outright punch everyone in the face. Step in the right direction.

Pretty damn good first hour, with some actual laughs and normie shocks in it. At least for me who was completely unfamiliar with the game. However, I can't remember another movie where I was SOOOO bored in the last act after actually being invest in the first half.

No tits, some fun gore/grossness. Peter Stormare hamming it the fuck up. It has an ending, it's even a decent one, it's just executed so poorly you don't give a shit. 2.5/5.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

No tits, some fun gore/grossness. Peter Stormare hamming it the fuck up. It has an ending, it's even a decent one, it's just executed so poorly you don't give a shit. 2.5/5.

I was surprized by the amount of upskirts in the movie. Sony are such prudes but you see up the Asian girl's skirt like 3 times and the girl in the opening is shown too. Most of it is the 2000s fashion they're wearing but Sony let it pass.

Has any commentary come out explaining why the 2nd act is a montage covered in a minute?

 

[Karamanlis]

the placental barrier is very good at its job but a rotting corpse cannot sustain a fetus and the blood from childbirth would also infect it regardless of if it gestated to maturity. also am i to expect they would not immediately eat it?

I'm nitpicking, but the zombies in these movies are not rotting corpses. They're alive, but infected by the "rage virus." They're never shown to eat people either. They'll puke blood on a person, or beat a person to death, but they're not flesh eating zombies out of a Romero movie.

But, yeah, the zombies would definitely attack the newborn baby, and I agree with the overall point of your post. The childbirth scene is more than a bit retarded, and it's obviously just in there to serve the themes of the movie. Logic be damned.

 

[(((I am NOT a jew)))]

I didn't like Weapons.

The lord has spoken.

On a side note, Late Night With the Devil is the best modern horror movie in the 2020s and you cannot convince me otherwise.

That's seriously fucking retarded.
I love how we've gotten to such USSR levels of society now that we constantly are gaslighting ourselves into liking shit more than we need to.
It's amazing how many movies I've heard about lately that are 6/10s at best that people have to paraphrase their thoughts with "Yeah, it's absolutely not a masterpiece and yeah it was kind of shit and I could have spent my time better but you know for what it's worth it's not a total pile of shit."
I just want movies to be fun again. I don't even like the Terrifier movies but they at least know how to have a good time, even if they're almost ruined by need for retarded "lore".

I watched House (1985) the other night and was pleasantly surprised. It's a film about a dude overcoming the disappearance of his son and his PTSD from Vietnam... but it's also totally unironically about this mans' battle buddy coming back from the dead as a zombie soldier, haunting his old house and kidnapping his kid just to fuck with him.
I miss when movies just... did that. Yeah you get your themes and metaphors, but shit also actually fucking used to happen in horror movies. I miss when horror movies were made to actually entertain teenagers on a Friday date and not made for faggots who can't watch anything else to analyze.

 

[Intensening Rapeye]

Has been any news on the next VHS? More than kinda hoping that it'll be out by Halloween.

The new Mission Impossible is like a weird re-hash of Fallout, but not good.

 

[Quijibo69]

I watched House (1985) the other night and was pleasantly surprised. It's a film about a dude overcoming the disappearance of his son and his PTSD from Vietnam... but it's also totally unironically about this mans' battle buddy coming back from the dead as a zombie soldier, haunting his old house and kidnapping his kid just to fuck with him.
I miss when movies just... did that. Yeah you get your themes and metaphors, but shit also actually fucking used to happen in horror movies. I miss when horror movies were made to actually entertain teenagers on a Friday date and not made for faggots who can't watch anything else to analyze.

Watch House 2 1987, it has nothing to do with the first movie but it's also good in a campy way. It's more of a comedy movie. Can't recommend any House movies after those.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

I miss when movies just... did that. Yeah you get your themes and metaphors, but shit also actually fucking used to happen in horror movies. I miss when horror movies were made to actually entertain teenagers on a Friday date and not made for faggots who can't watch anything else to analyze.

Movies aren't made to be fun any more. They're netflix 2 hour time fillers or they're trying to appeal to the art snobs. Unless you want a child hood classic reimagined as a serial killer proper bloody slashers that everyone can enjoy are off the table.

I wonder how many directors end up on youtube making backrooms material and never get into making fully fleshed out movies.