/horror/ general megathread - Let's talk about movies and shit.

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Honestly I didn't hate the Until Dawn movie nearly as much as I anticipated. I'm fond of the source material and actually appreciate that they didn't do anything to ruin it: references here and there but nothing dreadful that taints the game by association. It might as well have been its own thing separate from the game.

There's some decent gore which I liked: I thought it was PG-13 until you see the aftermath of a bisection; there's also a good head explosion. The characters suck but that's every movie like this anymore. The haunted house/monster-a-minute gimmick was very hit-or-miss.

Don't pay to see it but it wasn't nearly as obnoxious as some other horror movies that have come out in the past year like Hell of a Summer, which was insufferable. It's stupid but it's not pretentious or up its own ass or anything like that (which I guess is a low bar, but still).

I went to an advanced screening that was completely empty, so who knows how well it will do financially.
 
12345 said:
I know it's bad, I'm just wondering how bad.
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If I had to guess (and I do), I'd say it's just boringly and stupidly bad. Tepid, bloodless and soulless (and boobless). There are probably a few callouts to the game you might recognize as a fan, but they will eschew any important parts or plot points in favor of whatever retardation they can recycle from other boring movies.
 
Who sucks worse: Rob Zombie, or Eli Roth?

Usually I'd say Rob Zombie, but I watched Roth's Knock Knock recently and haven't recovered yet. How do you make a scene-for-scene remake with 1,000 times the budget and manage to make every single part of it worse?
 
Calandrino said:
Who sucks worse: Rob Zombie, or Eli Roth?

Usually I'd say Rob Zombie, but I watched Roth's Knock Knock recently and haven't recovered yet. How do you make a scene-for-scene remake with 1,000 times the budget and manage to make every single part of it worse?
Click to expand...

Eli Roth is a try-hard whereas Rob Zombie is a guy who doesn't understand that his vision of a project just sort of fucking sucks sometimes.

Both guys think they understand horror but don't realise it's deeper than just shit looking cool.
 
Calandrino said:
Who sucks worse: Rob Zombie, or Eli Roth?

Usually I'd say Rob Zombie, but I watched Roth's Knock Knock recently and haven't recovered yet. How do you make a scene-for-scene remake with 1,000 times the budget and manage to make every single part of it worse?
Click to expand...
Eli Roth and Rob Zombie know a lot about exploitation films but they're not really good at making them. I personally rank Eli lower only because I hate his characters more, every other word is either fag or gay. It's a shame because Roth did a cannibal movie and you don't see those any more, but why did it have the scene with the vegan chick having diariea after she ate the people soup or whatever. We didn't need that, it was dumb. At least Zombie can write Hill Billsplotation sort of well. I like Rob Zombies original work more then his remakes.

I still haven't seen Thanksgiving so I don't know if that will be the one Eli Roth movie I like.
 
Calandrino said:
Who sucks worse: Rob Zombie, or Eli Roth?

Usually I'd say Rob Zombie, but I watched Roth's Knock Knock recently and haven't recovered yet. How do you make a scene-for-scene remake with 1,000 times the budget and manage to make every single part of it worse?
Click to expand...
I'd have a beer with both guys and talk about movies. I'll give them that much. I'd say that Roth sucks harder because the best movie he's made (Hostel 2) is still only just "Pretty good." The Hostel movies are his peak. The rest is either bad, grossly overrated (Cabin Fever and I personally think the two DTV sequels are better), or simply have their moments (Green Inferno and Thanksgiving).

Rob has a vision. A twisted white trash grindhouse vision but a vision nonetheless. His problem is needing a co-writer to keep the bad out of his work and he needs to stop giving his wife top billing. That all said, I genuinely loved Lords of Salem where Rob goes arthouse and I like his two Halloween movies to a point where I've re-watched them several times. He also got Daniel Harris to go topless which was appreciated (I had a crush on her when we were the same age, so shaddup).
 
That's a pretty damn good question. They both certainly spent everything they had creatively on their first two movies, and it's been all downhill from there (although to be fair, that's VERY common in horror, as there's barely any directors that have ever gotten better or even maintained (and maybe that should merit its own discussion)). They both give great interviews and I agree with Bruno that they'd be great to have a beer with (and I also really enjoy Lords of Salem despite recognizing how it's trying to sniff its own farts).

I guess if push comes to shove, Zombie's best movies are better than Roth's best movies. Also, Zombie's other career (music) is better than Roth's other career (acting), so I'd give it to him on that front as well.

It's funny how similar they are, or at least their output is. Halloween and Death Wish are serviceable movies that would've actually been GOOD movies if they weren't trying to be remakes. Both pretty much completely missed the point of the movie they were trying to re-make.

The only thing I think Roth would win on is I think he might have another decent movie in him. I mean he probably won't, but if he got the right script (i.e. one he didn't write) and situation I think he could make something good. I'm pretty sure Zombie is done no matter what.
 
Calandrino said:
Who sucks worse: Rob Zombie, or Eli Roth?

Usually I'd say Rob Zombie, but I watched Roth's Knock Knock recently and haven't recovered yet. How do you make a scene-for-scene remake with 1,000 times the budget and manage to make every single part of it worse?
Click to expand...
I think Eli Roth is clearly more talented than Rob. It could also be that I'm just a bit biased, as I don't really like the kind of horror films Rob makes. They really seem like a hobby project by a guy who isn't particularly talented but simply has too much money and can therefore afford to make films. Besides, Eli wrote and directed Hostel. He managed to make people afraid of backpacking in Europe.
 
BrunoMattei said:
That all said, I genuinely loved Lords of Salem where Rob goes arthouse and I like his two Halloween movies to a point where I've re-watched them several times.
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Honestly, same. I liked Lords of Salem much more than I thought I would. I sort of view his Halloween remakes as gonzo world versions. There's definitely stuff in there I don't care for, but I liked how brutal Michael is in them, and how weird Rob decided to get with the second one.
 
Calandrino said:
Who sucks worse: Rob Zombie, or Eli Roth?

Usually I'd say Rob Zombie, but I watched Roth's Knock Knock recently and haven't recovered yet. How do you make a scene-for-scene remake with 1,000 times the budget and manage to make every single part of it worse?
Click to expand...
Roth sucks worse easily. Most of Rob Zombie's movie work is dogshit but he still made House of 1000 Corpses and Devil's Rejects and those are some of my favorite movies, and it's an original creation of his which is a solid bonus on Zombie's part even if it was very TCM inspired. House of 1000 Corpses is the only movie Rob Zombie made that truly feels like an homage to an exploitation movie though, Devil's Rejects seems like a very polished and "modern" horror film compared to it. I've yet to see an Eli Roth film I like and it is a shame, like @Vampirella said, since he made a cannibal movie and proper cannibal movies are extinct, but it sucked.

I do agree with @BrunoMattei though, I'd love to sit down and have a beer with either of them and shoot the shit about horror movies.
 
Vampirella said:
I personally rank Eli lower only because I hate his characters more, every other word is either fag or gay.
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Now that I think about it, one of the things working in Hostel's favor is that the characters are actually supposed to be douchebags, and that's apparently the only kind of character he can actually write. The opening scenes of Knock Knock where Keanu Reeves is supposed to be a lovable likable family man hanging out with his doting wife and kids are just awful. Not to say that it gets any better, since he rewrote all the characters into some degree of douchiness, possibly unconsciously.

The guy in the original was a straight-laced dad in over his head, and the girls seemed innocent at first, and in the end they were really more damaged/crazy than truly malicious. Keanu comes off like an aging frat boy fighting off his midlife crisis by banging couple of strippers, who act like they're obviously running a scam the minute they show up. One of the girls is played by Eli Roth's then-wife and he is the same age as Keanu's character, which makes me wonder what in the holy fuck point he was trying to make, and how much real life subtext he wrote into the script. I hope their divorce went a little more amicably than the events of the movie.
 
so I got a cheap-ish projector
the wife was mildly annoyed until she found out it was a warehouse liquidation of actually THREE cheap-ish projectors for twenty bucks, I sold one to a coworker for thirteen bucks, gave one to her sister's family, so it was seven bucks and a very cool thing for a household with a kid and an elderly person so getting to the movies isn't going to be in the cards for a while
she was REALLY sold on it when we caught the back half of Lifeforce on cytube
seriously Lifeforce really is an amazingly great movie, and a big screen helps it a lot

then we started the new Street Trash, then she realized it's really not half-assing being Street Trash around the blue monster whipping out its dick and tabled it for when she's more in the mood for Street Trash

but yeah I cannot speak highly enough about getting a projector especially now that they're not like, a thousand dollars like a quarter century ago
you think it's okay that you have the big (by our oldfag standards) HDTV sorta close but yeah nah
it's not The Big Screen
I had a buddy who had a projector back when they were that expensive and I thought it was sorta the same but that was 25 years of cope

and it'll make watching 1978 with shitty MTL script on a laptop pretty workable too, so I won't have to time that shit
 
Calandrino said:
Who sucks worse: Rob Zombie, or Eli Roth?

Usually I'd say Rob Zombie, but I watched Roth's Knock Knock recently and haven't recovered yet. How do you make a scene-for-scene remake with 1,000 times the budget and manage to make every single part of it worse?
Click to expand...
Eli, I liked Devils Rejects whereas I don't like anything Roth has done.
 
BrunoMattei said:
3 From Hell?
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Rob should've stuck with the home invasion scene that was a rip-off of Fight For Your Life instead of his faux Peckinpah homage 3FH shit flick. Sid looked haggard in his brief and final role. It didn't help that the theater I saw it in had horrible projection and the image was stretched out. 31 seemed stupid and didn't give it a chance.
 
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BrunoMattei said:
I couldn't make it past the first 2 minutes of 31.


In Takashi Miike news,. he's doing a collab with Charlie xcx. I have no idea who the fuck that is but Miike making a movie in America has me interested. The closest you get to that is his western where the entire cast learned their lines in English phonetically.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=9-TGaGa3QAc
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Didn't he make an episode of Masters of Horror?
 
The Shrouds is like if David Cronenberg wrote and directed Eyes Wide Shut. It, uh, does feel long. It's one of those ones where he didn't even try to make a movie that general audiences would like. It's mostly one-on-one conversations with dialog that sounds like Cronenberg thinking out loud.
 
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