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Judge Holden said:
*extended sigh of weary contempt*
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Ya know....now that Nosferatu has come and gone and I am giving it the mandatory 1-3 year wait-and-see to see if people are still hyping it after the initial glazing wears off, does anybody have any tidings of upcoming horror movies that don't make me want to bury my head in yet more shitty 80s wop horror flicks?

I mean I already have a very bad feeling about 28 Years Later, I already have had my mood brought low by the revelations of the currentyear Halloween re-re-re-reboot prequel tv series.....can somebody kindly do the needful and make me feel a lil more optimistic about spoopy shit coming out in the next few years? Fucking anything.....like I will even accept a halfway promising Jaws reboot I can delude myself into thinking might be breddygud......
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no not really
 
Calandrino said:
no not really
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Just for that I am shitting another contrived marathon of crappy and only vaguely connected horror flicks onto this thread.....ya know as soon as I finish the Zombi one....

....fuck actually I really could do with watching Zombi 2 soon to cheer myself up
 
I'm going to give Osgood Perkins' monkey movie a shot. Longlegs was shit, but I've liked the rest of his films (and yes, I can totally understand why people don't like them), but Monkey seems like he's striking WELL out of his wheelhouse. So it could possibly be good. I mean the premise is just a cursed monkey makes people die in bizarre ways, so how the fuck hard could it be to make something entertaining and fun. He's also got a small scale cabin in the woods movie coming out that looks somewhat promising.

But otherwise, no. Anything good that comes out will be a surprise. I'm confident 28 years will be utter shit. It has all the hallmarks blatantly forward facing, like Joker 2.
 
I used to follow a couple horror movie news sites but stopped when I realized that nearly every new horror release is shit, and the remaining nuggets of gold I'll quickly hear about through word of mouth, so I rarely even know what's coming out soon. I mostly skim lists on Letterboxd for any old stuff I haven't seen yet that looks good.

Something I've been annoyed by in the past decade or so is that a lot of indie horror looks like shit due to being filmed digitally. A lot of old low budget horror flicks might not have been particularly good, but being shot on film or even VHS gave them a charming look. Damn near every poverty budget indie horror today looks like it was filmed on an iPhone, and as a result the movies just look really sterile.
 
Commander X said:
Continuing its relationship with filmmaker Robert Eggers, Focus Features will produce and finance his next film, “Werwulf,” according to an insider with knowledge of the project.

"Werwulf"? Duh, learn to spell, moron!
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Well I guess I could hope for the rarity that would be a decent werewolf movie to keep me positive a while

Speakin of which, a factor in my favourite Werewolf movie Dog Soldiers which sounds really fucking obvious when I mention it that the main characters are both very competent and also not written as complete assholes which is something a scary number of horror movies and fiction find completely fucking impossible.

When you watch a horror movie and the characters act like retarded BPD scumbags for the entire runtime it really undercuts the horror by both making you actively root for the characters to die horribly and also makes you think you could probably win in the specific horror scenario yourself just by not being a fucking mongoloid like the main characters. If the characters are likable and are actively trying to do the smart thing it hits a whole lot harder when the spoopy shit gobbles them up despite their best efforts because it makes it clear you would be fucking dead in this specific horror scenario yourself.

Again this sounds a complete no-brainer and yet the obsession with cheap edge and snark in hack creative circles means more often then not when you watch a generic horror movie the characters are all acerbic pieces of shit who will contort themselves in ever more absurd positions in order to get themselves killed stupidly.
 
Judge Holden said:
When you watch a horror movie and the characters act like retarded BPD scumbags for the entire runtime it really undercuts the horror by both making you actively root for the characters to die horribly and also makes you think you could probably win in the specific horror scenario yourself just by not being a fucking mongoloid like the main characters. If the characters are likable and are actively trying to do the smart thing it hits a whole lot harder when the spoopy shit gobbles them up despite their best efforts because it makes it clear you would be fucking dead in this specific horror scenario yourself.
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That's why I don't like Eli Roth movies. I remember someone told me to watch Hostel because the nice guy dies and it makes the movie scarier. I watched the movie waiting for this nice character to show up and they never did. Shame because the whole urban myth of "getting kidnapped in a foreign land buy crazy traffickers" could make a good story.

I remember hearing about an urban myth in Japan about a couple that goes to France and the wife gets kidnapped in the dressing room. Her husband spends years looking for her then finds her in a freak show with her limbs all mutilated to make her a freak.
 
Vampirella said:
That's why I don't like Eli Roth movies. I remember someone told me to watch Hostel because the nice guy dies and it makes the movie scarier. I watched the movie waiting for this nice character to show up and they never did. Shame because the whole urban myth of "getting kidnapped in a foreign land buy crazy traffickers" could make a good story.
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I like Hostel 1 and 2 but TBH I've only seen them once. For Eli Roth, they're pretty good. Aside from Thanksgiving I've hated everything else he's done and I don't even hold Borderlands against him. I think Borderlands was doomed to fail no matter who directed it.

Vampirella said:
I remember hearing about an urban myth in Japan about a couple that goes to France and the wife gets kidnapped in the dressing room. Her husband spends years looking for her then finds her in a freak show with her limbs all mutilated to make her a freak.
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Sounds like an Ero-Guro manga.
 
BrunoMattei said:
I like Hostel 1 and 2 but TBH I've only seen them once. For Eli Roth, they're pretty good. Aside from Thanksgiving I've hated everything else he's done and I don't even hold Borderlands against him. I think Borderlands was doomed to fail no matter who directed it.
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I still need to check out Thanksgiving, maybe when it rolls around this year.

BrunoMattei said:
Sounds like an Ero-Guro manga.
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I wouldn't doubt that this got turned in to a Guro manga. I don't think that's where I heard about it from.
 
Vampirella said:
I still need to check out Thanksgiving, maybe when it rolls around this year.
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It's kind of mid but it does have good gore and I did laugh more than a few times intentionally. Just don't expect it to be as good as the old Grindhouse trailer. Hopefully Roth can make up for the lack of cunt-stabbing in the sequel?
 
Vampirella said:
remember hearing about an urban myth in Japan about a couple that goes to France and the wife gets kidnapped in the dressing room. Her husband spends years looking for her then finds her in a freak show with her limbs all mutilated to make her a freak
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Pretty sure I recall seeing that in The Big Book Of Urban Legends

Commander X said:
Continuing its relationship with filmmaker Robert Eggers, Focus Features will produce and finance his next film, “Werwulf,” according to an insider with knowledge of the project.

"Werwulf"? Duh, learn to spell, moron!
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Oh, they're remaking that one that was on MST where Paul am bacaming da wurwilf
 
Vampirella said:
I remember someone told me to watch Hostel because the nice guy dies and it makes the movie scarier. I watched the movie waiting for this nice character to show up and they never did.
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I kinda liked that possibly the biggest dickhead had a heart of gold.

Your Starter for 10 said:
Longlegs was shit, but I've liked the rest of his films
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Longlegs is the only one I've seen. I was surprised to learn he's a "horror director". I felt like he'd rather be making some other kind of movie.
 
Calandrino said:
Longlegs is the only one I've seen. I was surprised to learn he's a "horror director". I felt like he'd rather be making some other kind of movie.
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His 3 movies that I like (The Blackcoat's Daughter, I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives in the House and Gretel & Hansel) are all pretty different than Longlegs. They're all slow and brooding, and probably pretentious - but I still like all of them. They're well crafted and acted, have simple stories (well G&H has a couple layers, but still) and I don't think there's a single jump scare in any of them.

Just be interesting for me to see him make a "Hey this monkey is cursed and kills people!" movie. Even if it's not good, it might be fun.
 
Vampirella said:
I remember hearing about an urban myth in Japan about a couple that goes to France and the wife gets kidnapped in the dressing room. Her husband spends years looking for her then finds her in a freak show with her limbs all mutilated to make her a freak.
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It sounds an awful lot like "The Harlem Horror", a short story from the British writer Charles Birkin, an author known for his short stories in the sub-genre of horror lit known as conte cruel - psychological horror, a sub-genre associated with authors like Roald Dahl and Patricia Highsmith. I read a used 1966 paperback collection of some of his stories that included this number, the stories in his oeuvre that I've read have nasty twist endings.

A summary of the story, that I found somewhere:

The Harwoods, Michael, Mary and little Clare, move from London to New York. There have been a spate of child disappearances in the Big Apple, and one day Clare goes missing. Some months later, the grieving, broken parents attend a funfair on Coney Island. During a sudden downpour they take shelter in a tent which turns out to be the entrance to a freak show. The star exhibit is the 'What-is-it?', a one-eyed, hideously deformed creature which the barker assures is female and aged no more than ten. On the boat home to England, Michael buys a newspaper. The lead story tells of a police raid on a laboratory in Harlem where the brilliant - albeit criminally insane - plastic surgeon, Sir John Trowbridge, has been performing abominable vivisections on children and animals which he then sells on to the freak shows ...
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Judge Holden said:
*extended sigh of weary contempt*
View attachment 6891600

Ya know....now that Nosferatu has come and gone and I am giving it the mandatory 1-3 year wait-and-see to see if people are still hyping it after the initial glazing wears off, does anybody have any tidings of upcoming horror movies that don't make me want to bury my head in yet more shitty 80s wop horror flicks?

I mean I already have a very bad feeling about 28 Years Later, I already have had my mood brought low by the revelations of the currentyear Halloween re-re-re-reboot prequel tv series.....can somebody kindly do the needful and make me feel a lil more optimistic about spoopy shit coming out in the next few years? Fucking anything.....like I will even accept a halfway promising Jaws reboot I can delude myself into thinking might be breddygud......
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In times like redundant halloween reboots, pretentious a24 movies and psychological thrillers that are only scary if you obsess over it for 20 weeks I always go back to hammer horror, Re watching movies you haven’t seen in a while feel like their brand new, I just re watched all the corman poe movies and I have to say it really got me feeling like it’s Halloween again

as for the future for nosferatu it’s not a generic slasher so like the normies wont be talking about it but It probably be like the witch where It’s praised by horror fans But like the general public doesn’t care.
Samhain said:
I used to follow a couple horror movie news sites but stopped when I realized that nearly every new horror release is shit,
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take into the account that some of the horror news sites get paid by the makers of these movies as to say nice things as promos it’s never like “wolfman 2025 is shit, their werewolf design looks more like a lich, or a necromancer or an evil Santa Claus or something like that

I still can’t belive they went with that design It looks like an evil santa prop for a horror house you could buy at distortions unlimited.
 
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