/horror/ general megathread - Let's talk about movies and shit.

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90s was so weak for horror they end up talking about movies like Natural Born Killers and Freaked in this one. Also lot of Charles Band trash, 15 minutes alone must have been spent on the dull Subspecies movies.
Maybe it's because I spent so much time at the local video rental places from the early '90s to early '00s, but I have a real soft spot for '90s horror movies, especially the Charles Band / Full Moon stuff. Direct-to-VHS releases were booming, and I rented pretty much any horror or weird looking sci-fi flick I could. There were some real stinkers, and while none of that stuff reaches the height of '80s movies, I can still re-watch a lot of it today and enjoy it. I still occasionally discover a '90s movie that I haven't seen before and end up enjoying, at least on some level.
 
Maybe it's because I spent so much time at the local video rental places from the early '90s to early '00s, but I have a real soft spot for '90s horror movies, especially the Charles Band / Full Moon stuff. Direct-to-VHS releases were booming, and I rented pretty much any horror or weird looking sci-fi flick I could. There were some real stinkers, and while none of that stuff reaches the height of '80s movies, I can still re-watch a lot of it today and enjoy it. I still occasionally discover a '90s movie that I haven't seen before and end up enjoying, at least on some level.
I dug the Full Moon stuff in the 90s. My dad too, and he had street cred for watching horror like Hammer midnight marathons and stuff, he dug the Subspecies-es among others. But yeah by Dollman vs Demonic Toys they were going too far into intentional camp
Shrunken Heads works nice enough for Rifftrax.

But yeah back in the day I was in the Full Moon Fan Club, had the t-shirt. Dad and me ALMOST bought a tape from them a few times.
iirc they were priced out the nose because they were retailing to rental stores primarily, but when you bought, say, Puppetmaster IV at $99 on VHS (semi-bullshit number but it was the crazy rental vhs price not home media price) they also threw in a bunch of promotional shit, like posters and tshirts and stuff, or if you bought multiple tapes at once you could get some REALLY cool shit like 1:1 replica puppets before that was a dead common piece of merch, the idea being that either you were a video rental store that could use the promotional shit to hang from the ceiling and walls or you were some colossal sperg who actually buys this shit and would want this as well, so it made up for paying so much ostensibly for just a vhs tape
 
I dug the Full Moon stuff in the 90s. My dad too, and he had street cred for watching horror like Hammer midnight marathons and stuff, he dug the Subspecies-es among others. But yeah by Dollman vs Demonic Toys they were going too far into intentional camp
Shrunken Heads works nice enough for Rifftrax.

But yeah back in the day I was in the Full Moon Fan Club, had the t-shirt. Dad and me ALMOST bought a tape from them a few times.
iirc they were priced out the nose because they were retailing to rental stores primarily, but when you bought, say, Puppetmaster IV at $99 on VHS (semi-bullshit number but it was the crazy rental vhs price not home media price) they also threw in a bunch of promotional shit, like posters and tshirts and stuff, or if you bought multiple tapes at once you could get some REALLY cool shit like 1:1 replica puppets before that was a dead common piece of merch, the idea being that either you were a video rental store that could use the promotional shit to hang from the ceiling and walls or you were some colossal sperg who actually buys this shit and would want this as well, so it made up for paying so much ostensibly for just a vhs tape
Full Moon, Trimark, Artisan and Troma's straight to video output did something to fill the horror void in the 90's. There were some treasures among all the crap.
 
Happy New Year to you all! :-)

I thought this could be of interest to those interested in the horror-genre.
Given my profile picture, you may surmise that I like the Dutch-Japanese Moomin TV-Series, and in particular the two episodes Tiny Guests and The Suitcase, of which the presence of The Groke may be briefly showcased here.
The Groke is quite fearsome indeed, but she is certainly pitiful and understandable as well. The Groke is loneliness personified, after all. She is indeed a character that elicits deep sympathy.


I discovered this lovely "live-action remake" of the above mentioned episodes from the Dutch/Japanese Moomin TV Series some time ago, and thought to share it with you. It's a lovely little gem of media, and it gives me great nostalgia! :-)
 
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nosferatu-2024-official-poster.jpg

Anyone else think this movie was fuckin terrible?

Went and saw it in theaters, the ending was so damn awful. I was in disbelief.

how are you alive for centuries but get tricked into staying the night at some mid Victorian woman's place and get burnt up in the sun. Orlac literally should have an internal clock in his head where he knows the sun will be coming up in a few hours before it even happens.
 
View attachment 6809181

Anyone else think this movie was fuckin terrible?

Went and saw it in theaters, the ending was so damn awful. I was in disbelief.

how are you alive for centuries but get tricked into staying the night at some mid Victorian woman's place and get burnt up in the sun. Orlac literally should have an internal clock in his head where he knows the sun will be coming up in a few hours before it even happens.
it's like the ending to King Kong "What pussy does to a mf"
 
View attachment 6809181

Anyone else think this movie was fuckin terrible?

Went and saw it in theaters, the ending was so damn awful. I was in disbelief.

how are you alive for centuries but get tricked into staying the night at some mid Victorian woman's place and get burnt up in the sun. Orlac literally should have an internal clock in his head where he knows the sun will be coming up in a few hours before it even happens.
Are you sure you're not a 2024 user?
 
Nosferatu was OK. I would never watch it again. Rose-Depp can't act, or the direction she was given was piss poor (the second soul monologue on the beach was rushed and she was unable to elevate the mediocre writing), but she didn't ruin the film. I don't think claiming 19th century people were- supposedly- wooden and stilted is an excuse for an actor to be wooden and stilted. This trend of meek mice actresses who eventually in the third act scream and run around doing bad impressions of Adjani in Possession is already old hat.

It was a wise move on Eggers part to cast a closeted gay man as the husband. Not since Perkins in Psycho has a director seen so much potential in simply how someone carries themselves.

Dafoe is great as the Van Helsing character. It was a pretty accurate representation of how Helsing is in the Dracula novel.

Skarsgaard was doing an impression of Todd's Candyman.

Unlike Longlegs, which used Christianity as cool looking wallpaper, there was a Christian message to the film. I preferred The Lighthouse, but Nosferatu was the more well rounded film rather than a collection of entertaining scenes.

It owes a lot to Coppola's Dracula and the novel and really, other than the ending, it does nothing new with the story. I don't say that as a hater of Dracula, just that I am rather sick of it. We've had Muranu's silent film, we've had Browning's universal classic, we've had the Hammer series, we've had the faithful(ish) BBC adaptation, we've had Herzog's twist on it, and we've had Coppola's homage to silent films. Not to mention the countless other great vampire films, there is nothing more to be done. Make a film based on Christabel or The Vampyre instead, but no more, please, of this tired story.

DID YOU UNDERSTAND THE PUSSY ON THE BED METAPHOR?
 
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It owes a lot to Coppola's Dracula and the novel and really, other than the ending, it does nothing new with the old story. I don't say that as a hater of Dracula, just that I am rather sick of it. We've had Muranu's silent film, we've had Browning's universal classic, we've had the Hammer series, we've had the faithful(ish) BBC adaptation, we've had Herzog's twist on it, and we've had Coppola's homage to silent films. Not to mention the countless other great vampire films, there is nothing more to be done. Make a film based on Christabel or The Vampyre instead, but no more, please, of this tired story.
This. Sad to say but it's just the same Dracula story we've seen a million fucking times. It's very well made, well acted, everything is great but the story is the same as always. I am so happy I found this clip on YT:


This cartoon is almost 30 years old... Come on. Stop making the fucking Dracula story over and over and over. The entirety of planet Earth is sick of it.
 
Saw Nosferatu, I really liked it and the new look of Orlock was pretty menacing and feels like one of the few Dracula's where I can easily believe he was Vlad the Impaler.

Honestly had no problems with it outside of my minor gripe about the British Accents in fucking Germany. Still need to check out Eggers' other films as I just need to see The VVitch and Lighthouse.
 
Re: Nosferatu:

Here's a wild idea, okay? How about change up the fucking story if you're going to adapt it for the millionth fucking time? There's so many little changes that could be made to make it stand out and be something at least a little unique:

How about we skip all of the preamble with Johnathan Harker visiting the castle and Mina having visions and the travel to her? Dracula is just in town or she encounters Drac another way?

How about Jonathan Harker just fucking dies? He's a worthless character anyway and that's maybe the sole thing I give Dario Argento's Dracula 3D a sliver, the tiniest sliver of credit for doing by just killing the fucking character off. And Dracula 3D is the biggest shitbomb of Argento's career.

How about no Van Helsing or Van Helsing is defeated? The fucking Jess Franco adaptation (loose adaptation) Vampyros Lesbos changes it up by adding lesbian arthouse sex and the Van Helsing character is killed very pathetically.

How about Dracula is already dead but supernatural shit is happening and his resurrection is upon us? Just rip off Castlevania 2: Simon's Quest. Fuck it.

How about anything fucking different, man?

(Punches monitor)
 
Dracula starring Adrien Brody: it's a dark and gritty mockumentary of a Romanian failed stand up comedian.
I know you're shitposting but how about Dracula only it's a true to life examination of the real Vlad Tepes and he's depicted as a hero for keeping the Turks out of Romania and stopping the expansion of Islam?

It would essentially be a fully expanded version of the opening scene from the Coppola film:

 
With Nosferatu I will do what I usually do when I hear shit being spoken of well by sauces I don't entirely hold in contempt. Leave it a year or two, and if people are still tonguing the movie's balls with alacrity I will probably give it a watch. The only time I broke this rule was when I went to watch The Joker solely because of how much meme shit was going around about the movie, and in doing so I unleashed the Voodoo curse placed on my bloodline by an angry Witch Doctor which ensured the sequel would be a memetic trashfire.

I have cautious regard for Eggers because of how much I enjoyed The Lighthouse, and will probably watch VVVVitch and Norfman some time early this year.

Part of the reason I have always been an Orlok > Dracula nigga is because of how much contempt I have down to my bones for the "sexy vampire" schtick that poor ole Bela Lugosi unwittingly unleashed back in the day. It's not necessarily a dealbreaker, but seeing it entirely abandoned in favour of showing an ancient predatory monster as an ancient predatory monster is always a plus in my book.

As for my own take in how to spice up the generic Dracula story....I dunno, send him into space and have him fight sex slave androids maybe?
 
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