/horror/ general megathread - Let's talk about movies and shit.

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I saw two horror movies recently, Caviar (2023) and Noroi: The Curse (2005)

Caviar is a retarded horror movie that centers around conspiracy theories and it’s completely nonsensical babble that tries way too hard to be “deep” yet fails at doing it. The entire thing is lol so random qtard stupidity and is probably one of the worst movies to come out this year.

Noroi the Curse is a pretty decent found footage Japanese horror movie. I really enjoy the documentary format it has going on and how it relies on atmosphere for most of the film. When shit hits the fan, it really delivers on that.
 
The once thought to be lost Profane Exhibit has finally been released.


It's honestly not hard to see why this took a little over a decade to get released. Despite the names involved most of the shorts are 'meh' tier in terms of everything. The guy who directed Tokyo Gore Police easily created the most entertaining short. Heir Boll does an interesting but bad short based on the case of a father imprisoning and raping his daughter for over a decade and he chose Clint Howard as the dad... Stunt casting gone awry. There's some decent gore and nihilistic unpleasantness but I wouldn't say it's something to go out of your way to get. Ruggero Deodato directed easily the worst "That was it?" Segment.

5/10 I'm being generous.
 
Saw The Red Door due to my other half watching all the other Insidious stuff. It was...OK, I guess. Liberal arts nigress talks protagonist into doing dumb shit, then whines and takes the high road when it turns out to be dumb shit.

I also just realised Indsidious and The Conurijg are two separate things. Fuck sake Patrick, you've confused me far too long.
 
More Tubi diving lead me to find they have some of Rodrigo Aragão's Brazilian splatter flicks on there

Night of the Chupacabra, the titular beast shows up later in the movie, acting as a wildcard in the conflict between two feuding families.


Dark Sea, a black spot that shows up near a fishing village causes local fish and amphibians to mutate, and soon hordes of mutated villagers are on the rampage:


The Black Forest, a woman acquires a book of black magic and continues using it, even as the situation goes from bad to worse


Cemetary of Lost Souls, a band of cursed Jesuits who were corrupted by a certain black magic book arise from underneath the cemetery where they were buried centuries before

 
Just watched Alien Invasion (2023) after picking it up at Walmart because it had a knockoff xenomorph on the cover. To my horror one minute into watching it I realized it was a British movie. So that means the characters are going to make idiotic, non humsn decisions throughout.

They refuse to call the police the entire movie even after several people are killed by the alien with their reasoning being "we broke into our neighbors house, we might get in trouble". They learn that water burns the creature (like in signs) but do nothing with this knowledge. There's a large inground pool in this movie they could've just pushed it in. The only decent scene in the film is when a priest beats up the alien for a few minutes.

There was no gore whatsoever and half the deaths were off screen because the British are pussies.

Fuck British horror movies and fuck British people.
 
White Devil said:
To be fair, British cops are about as useful as tits on a dinosaur.
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Very true
"walks in on alien mauling a person
"Alright what's all this then?"

Someone uploaded a rarely seen gem of so bad it's good filmmaking. It's basically a SOV take on The Boogens by the legendary Polonia Brothers.
https://m.vk.com/video284890340_456239430
Behold the amazing paper maché beasts
Night-Crawlers-Pic-2.jpg
 
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TVBForever said:
I feel like I need to watch Savageland with zero expectations
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Do it. Its an amazing movie.
THe ending sucks, but the horror comes from your imagination, and what could have happened. Some parts even made me scared to go out, due to how well it was made.
The argument that it was cartels/illegals or the KKK is kinda what makes this movie brilliant. Everyone is ignoring the fact unspeakable horrors killed everyone, and that what happened is beyond human comprehension. Yet people still fall back on their biases. Cut the last 2 minutes out of the movie and it would have been a perfect horror movie to me
 
I recently watched a super low budget zombie movie that really blew me away. It's called Bone Sickness and it's like a Cronenberg Hong Kong Cat III masterpiece that goes well beyond it's budgetary limitations. Cars crash, flip, explode, people are lit on fire, people fall through ceilings, swat teams are annihilated by my favorite type of zombies (the ones that come out of the ground). 70% of the film is insane gore effects and body horror. It feels as if it were made by Lucio Fulci if he was a metal head from Massachusetts.

The plot starts out simple, a man is dying of bone cancer and the doctors can't cure it so his best friend and wife try some alternative medicine, bone meal acquired from the local cemetery. But it has strange side effects like vomiting and shitting out worms and maggots. The grave robbing starts to upset some strange creatures that live in the cemetery who are pretty miffed about their food supply being fucked with. And somehow all this leads to a zombie apocalypse. You'll have to give it a watch to find out how.

I can't recommend this enough. Even I had to look away a few times during this movie because it got pretty nasty!
 
A Rastafarian Skeleton said:
I recently watched a super low budget zombie movie that really blew me away. It's called Bone Sickness and it's like a Cronenberg Hong Kong Cat III masterpiece that goes well beyond it's budgetary limitations. Cars crash, flip, explode, people are lit on fire, people fall through ceilings, swat teams are annihilated by my favorite type of zombies (the ones that come out of the ground). 70% of the film is insane gore effects and body horror. It feels as if it were made by Lucio Fulci if he was a metal head from Massachusetts.

The plot starts out simple, a man is dying of bone cancer and the doctors can't cure it so his best friend and wife try some alternative medicine, bone meal acquired from the local cemetery. But it has strange side effects like vomiting and shitting out worms and maggots. The grave robbing starts to upset some strange creatures that live in the cemetery who are pretty miffed about their food supply being fucked with. And somehow all this leads to a zombie apocalypse. You'll have to give it a watch to find out how.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=x3SwBQ697dAI can't recommend this enough. Even I had to look away a few times during this movie because it got pretty nasty!
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I saw this one but I didn't really like it. The only thing I remember was the shitting scene which I thought was clever.

In other news: Saw X has been moved up to September 29th. I guess Lionsgate didn't want to compete with the Zoomer horror event of the century?
 
BrunoMattei said:
In other news: Saw X has been moved up to September 29th. I guess Lionsgate didn't want to compete with the Zoomer horror event of the century?
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I guess Saw no longer claims to be the yearly Halloween event.
BrunoMattei said:
I was going to make a Mega Man X joke as well but I decided against it.
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To be fair, X in the title just feels silly. This year is both Saw X and Fast X.
 
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