/horror/ general megathread - Let's talk about movies and shit.

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Well, Midnight Club was... I wouldn't say shit, but a huge fucking disappointment, and it feels like Mike Flannagan has taken 10 steps back. I guess that's what happens when people praise you too much, you get too far up your own ass.

The first few episodes had a lot of promise, but it just fizzles the fuck out and the show ends real fucking bland, too. It's almost LOST-levels of unexplained plot points and ~sPoOky~ stuff for the sake of spooky, and far too many jump scares than you'd expect after Haunting of Hill House and Midnight Mass. I kept watching, expecting it to get better, but it never did. It slowly just got worse and worse and worse. The plot twists are super predictable, the bald Irish actress is just grating, fuck that show.

3/10, don't waste your time.
 
So, my friend has been lying to me for over a decade about seeing "Demons" when they actually saw "Night of the Demons" (I know, I made them watch that too) and I finally sat them down to watch it in full last weekend.

"Demons" (1985)

It's seriously been around 20 years since I last gave it a spin and it's a mixed bag, for sure a classic, but a lot of the practical effects just don't hold up. Also, the jail bait coke skank looked like she was 13 years old, she reminded me of the first HIV virgin victim from the movie "KIDS", and to add insult to injury, her sad tit was the only one flashed in a movie chock full of Italian foxes who oozed sexuality (looking at you big red the ticket taker).
OK, coomer hat off, the real villain in this movie is not the demons, but the movie theater itself. I think the environment might only be matched by "The Prince of Darkness" by how slimy, broken down and hopeless the building appears and feels.
The two male Caucasian leads look like Italian Jensen Eckles from Supernatural and a non gay face Ezra Miller (along with the coke punk who scrapes coke crumbs off the sad titty with a razor - they could be brothers). The actress who starred as the initial black hooker demon deserved an Oscar for her performance, why don't we get diversity hires like this in 2022?
This movie also had the "Ominious Fast moving shrieking evil wind" effect in the middle of the movie that was utitilized by the deadites in The Evil Dead, but it seems like they forgot to let us know what it was and never employed the effect again. This did indeed make boomers shit their pants in fright in 1985.
But damn, that location was like a Forgotten Malls of America youtube video, I just don't know if it can be matched. Zoomers who enjoy that endless computer yellow hallway generated "horror" genre might want to check this movie out, it's in the same wheelhouse.
I don't what to see a remake in this current reality, but I like to imagine that in another dimension Zack Snyder did a remake in 2005 right after Dawn of the Dead with Steve Moore (The Guest) scoring the the soundtrack.
Has anyone since this movie had the balls to drop a helicopter into the mix for fun??? Everything is just so formulaic and boring now.
If you really want to blow your friend's mind then show them Night of the DemoN from 1980 which is a bigfoot splatter picture.


But Demons? Yeah, it's a classic. And the Japanese samurai horror film of the same title is great too.
 
I have that saxophone riff that plays during the rape scene from Ms. 45 stuck in my brain as of late.

 
Oh for fuck's sake, Halloween Ends is going to be a fucking dumpster fire. Light spoiler, but yeah basically


Michael is barely in the movie, it's about the grand-daughter's boyfriend, ~is he a psycho??~ and that's about it. At least fucking Halloween 3 was a good movie, and Michael not being in it didn't detract from it, but here we were promised that it would be the final showdown between Laurie and Michael, and instead it's her wondering if her grand-daughter is dating a psycho? Fuck me.

Someone is going to make a 3 hour megacut of the trilogy and it's gonna be only way to watch this going forward. I suspect it's going to be edited in a way where the end of Ends happens at the end of Kills.

This franchise is fucking cursed. I... I think I might just skip it.
 
Oh for fuck's sake, Halloween Ends is going to be a fucking dumpster fire. Light spoiler, but yeah basically

https://youtube.com/watch?v=2AJK6t5sqy0
Michael is barely in the movie, it's about the grand-daughter's boyfriend, ~is he a psycho??~ and that's about it. At least fucking Halloween 3 was a good movie, and Michael not being in it didn't detract from it, but here we were promised that it would be the final showdown between Laurie and Michael, and instead it's her wondering if her grand-daughter is dating a psycho? Fuck me.

Someone is going to make a 3 hour megacut of the trilogy and it's gonna be only way to watch this going forward. I suspect it's going to be edited in a way where the end of Ends happens at the end of Kills.

This franchise is fucking cursed. I... I think I might just skip it.

Everyone predicted it was going to be bad.
 
Everyone knew it would suck, but no one thought that's the way they would go, or that it would be that fucking bad.

It's not 40 pounds heavier than her tinder profile pic bad, it's her even fatter brother in a wig showing up bad.
 
Do we at least get some good kills?
Sounds like the kills are good, yes, for all 7 minutes they happen at the end. Otherwise it's described as a character study of Laurie Strode's grand-daughter's boyfriend, and trying to figure out whether or not he's a psychopath.

canttakeitanymore.jpg
 
Halloween Ends will make Horror fans have the same experience as a Star Wars fan watching Rise of Skywalker.
I'd say it matches the Jurassic World Dominion experience more given the spoilers and how both the Jurassic and Halloween franchises had extremely mixed qualities with the last movie before the "finale" setting the bar really low.

Not to mention both Dominion and Ends promised something that was never really there and focused on an unrelated threat.
 
I just watched the new Halloween. I actually liked it. it's definitely not a good halloween movie by any means but at least it gave a definitive ending to the story between Michael and Laurie. I get a very Friday the 13th V type of vibe from this movie. It's definitely better than Kills.
 
I just watched the new Halloween. I actually liked it. it's definitely not a good halloween movie by any means but at least it gave a definitive ending to the story between Michael and Laurie. I get a very Friday the 13th V type of vibe from this movie. It's definitely better than Kills.
Spill the beans. How's it end?
 
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