/horror/ general megathread - Let's talk about movies and shit.

[White Devil]

Just saw the Halloween Ends trailer and it looks as disjointed and aimless as you'd probably expect. I still don't get why they keep insisting Michael's human in this reboot series with no supernatural elements. He's like Jason crossed with the Terminator and seems literally unkillable, when the most he survived in the first two were a few shots to the chest through his boiler suit, which isn't completely impossible. The characters all seem as dumb as before, if not dumber, since apparently Michael's just gone under the radar for four years despite being a big lumbering dumbass who kills at random and makes no attempt at stealth, unlike the originals, and despite killing multiple cops the only law response to him is still a few idiot deputies and a senile sheriff.

The idea that Michael's a delusion and everything's been in Laurie's head also seems to have been disproven, which could've actually been an interesting twist. I'm not expecting much at this point. Like shit, if you're gonna make Michael into the Jasonator, at least own up to it and say your movie's a cheesy splatterfest. They keep up this running theme that it's serious and not supernatural, and it doesn't match up at all with what we see. Everything being Laurie's hallucination or nightmare was pretty much the only way they could justify anything in the last two movies and still make at least a little sense.

I can only conclude that these movies aren't for us; people who were actually fans of the originals.

 

[A Grey Cat]

I can only conclude that these movies aren't for us; people who were actually fans of the originals.

Really that motto can be applied to any reboot of a classic property in this day and age.

New director/creator: oh you don't like my work on this classic franchise you enjoy so much? Well fuck you! I didn't make it for old angry white incel fanboy crybabies like you!

 

[BrunoMattei]

Missed you too Bruno, but that's not me anymore. At least I'm trying not to be..."him" anymore. I actually went back and reread my old posts in here and my god how drunk was I when I said most of the things I said? I don't even know if I can blame most of my fucked up basic opinions in here on being drunk.

I look forward to more basic bitch takes and useless trivia:

Boomerfan1488 wrote:

That Art the Clown was one scary dude. Speaking of clowns, did you guys know the Joker was based off of Conrad Veidt from The Man Who Laughs?

 

[TV's Adam West]

I rewatched an all time favorite, American Werewolf in London. I won't lie, the fucking effects still hold up very damn well and the scene where his friend's ghost visits him and is all ripped apart looks better than anything I've seen in a while.

Hatchet, by Adam Green. This movie tries to do the opposite of what scream did. Adam Green is a guilty pleasure of mine, fuck, I loved the show he did for Fearnet. Hatchet is really a movie I can expect you to either love or hate. I'll say this, it has wonderful gore and kills, and great cameos. There's three more and I plan to watch them at some point. You don't really watch this movie for the plot. It did have some good jokes and a great cameo by Tony Todd.

 

[BrunoMattei]

I rewatched an all time favorite, American Werewolf in London. I won't lie, the fucking effects still hold up very damn well and the scene where his friend's ghost visits him and is all ripped apart looks better than anything I've seen in a while.

Hatchet, by Adam Green. This movie tries to do the opposite of what scream did. Adam Green is a guilty pleasure of mine, fuck, I loved the show he did for Fearnet. Hatchet is really a movie I can expect you to either love or hate. I'll say this, it has wonderful gore and kills, and great cameos. There's three more and I plan to watch them at some point. You don't really watch this movie for the plot. It did have some good jokes and a great cameo by Tony Todd.

I hate Hatchet but it was nice that all those genre stars got paid and it proved that Kane Hodder could still play Jason if it weren't for studio politics. The problem with those movies is the comedy.

Watch this:

This is the best thing Adam Green has ever done (and Kane Hodder plays the monster).

 

[A Grey Cat]

I look forward to more basic bitch takes and useless trivia:

Sorry to disappoint you but like I said, that's not me anymore. I don't even know if ill be sticking around just dropping in every now and then.

Oh God did I really say that? Jesus, Mary and Joseph WTF was I thinking?! I'm actually kinda glad you guys shit posted and...did what you did to me. Made me realize what a fucking dumbass I was being.

I rewatched an all time favorite, American Werewolf in London. I won't lie, the fucking effects still hold up very damn well and the scene where his friend's ghost visits him and is all ripped apart looks better than anything I've seen in a while.

An Immortal Classic up there with the classics like the Original Wolfman and of course the cheaper, grimier, sleazier cousin released the same year The Howling.

Hatchet, by Adam Green. This movie tries to do the opposite of what scream did. Adam Green is a guilty pleasure of mine, fuck, I loved the show he did for Fearnet. Hatchet is really a movie I can expect you to either love or hate. I'll say this, it has wonderful gore and kills, and great cameos. There's three more and I plan to watch them at some point. You don't really watch this movie for the plot. It did have some good jokes and a great cameo by Tony Todd.

Don't bother with Victor Crowley though, It had the lowest budget, the worst effects, and almost the whole movie took place on one set. A plane sinking into the swamp.

 

[TV's Adam West]

I hate Hatchet but it was nice that all those genre stars got paid and it proved that Kane Hodder could still play Jason if it weren't for studio politics. The problem with those movies is the comedy.

Watch this:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=Ja6gCbPdTb8
This is the best thing Adam Green has ever done (and Kane Hodder plays the monster).

That was from his old film chillerama, I remember seeing it as a teen late one night on fearnet and always planned on rewatching it.

 

[A Grey Cat]

late one night on fearnet

Fearnet....i haven't heard that name in so long. You mentioning it awakened a lot of old memories I nearly forgot. Though as much as I enjoyed Trick r Treat did they really have to play it on loop 24/7 on Halloween? At least AMC reran the first few Halloween movies for monsterfest on that day, and not the first one over and over again.

 

[CharcoalChkn]

I'm not really a horror connoisseur like the rest of you guys in here, generally only watch a few classics here and there but I took the new Hellraiser for a spin yesterday and man. It really just summed up perfectly almost everything I hate about the genre in modern day. Everything feels so sterile, I really can't describe it well, but the shittiness/low budget of older classics really give this edge to the films, everything just felt too clean, I remember feeling gross just watching the normal scenes in the original Hellraiser.

I have to give credit I did wince a bit when the guy got his arm degloved but, apart from that the movie was completely boring and infuriating.

Ain't no way I'm going to some creepy ass abandoned mansion for my gay room mates druggie sister.

 

[BrunoMattei]

I'm not really a horror connoisseur like the rest of you guys in here, generally only watch a few classics here and there but I took the new Hellraiser for a spin yesterday and man. It really just summed up perfectly almost everything I hate about the genre in modern day. Everything feels so sterile, I really can't describe it well, but the shittiness/low budget of older classics really give this edge to the films, everything just felt too clean, I remember feeling gross just watching the normal scenes in the original Hellraiser.

I have to give credit I did wince a bit when the guy got his arm degloved but, apart from that the movie was completely boring and infuriating.

Ain't no way I'm going to some creepy ass abandoned mansion for my gay room mates druggie sister.

If you're looking for good shit I'd recommend Tubi. Tons of good shit on there for free and if you watch on your desktop with an adblocker there's no ads.

Terrifier (2016)

A maniacal clown uses gruesome methods to viciously torture and murder women who have the unfortunate luck of entering his house of horrors.

tubitv.com

Mandy (2018)

When a nightmarish cult attacks Red and Mandy, the shocking assault leads to a spiraling, surreal, bloody rampage of all-out, mind-altering vengeance.

tubitv.com

The Belko Experiment (2017)

80 Americans working in a corporate building in Colombia are put on an office lockdown and told over the intercom to kill each other or be killed.

tubitv.com

Suspiria (1977)

A series of gruesome murders and inexplicable events lead a new student to suspect something evil is at play at a prestigious ballet academy.

tubitv.com

The Beyond (1981)

Shortly after Liza inherits an old Louisiana hotel, a series of supernatural incidents lead to the discovery that it was built over a portal to hell.

tubitv.com

The Exorcist III (1990)

A police lieutenant seeks answers in a psychiatric ward, when he ties a string of current murders to those of a serial killer executed long ago.

tubitv.com

The Hills Have Eyes (1977)

Terrifying original tale of a suburban family on a road trip to L.A who break down in the desert and get attacked by cannibals living in the hills.

tubitv.com

The Last House on Dead End Street (1977)

After a year in jail, a young gangster decides to take vengeance on society by capturing four victims and making ultra-violent snuff films.

tubitv.com

 

[A Grey Cat]

Ain't no way I'm going to some creepy ass abandoned mansion for my gay room mates druggie sister.

Didn't Hellraiser use to be a series film about a sexual deviant finding a box hoping it would send him to land of s&m sluts only to have his skin peeled off by the only deviants even more sexually degenerate than him in all existence? With one sequel meant to tie up the loose ends with a bigger budget and more gruesome effects? How do you fuck up such a simple concept for well over 20 years at this point?

 

[TV's Adam West]

Didn't Hellraiser use to be a series film about a sexual deviant finding a box hoping it would send him to land of s&m sluts only to have his skin peeled off by the only deviants even more sexually degenerate than him in all existence? With one sequel meant to tie up the loose ends with a bigger budget and more gruesome effects? How do you fuck up such a simple concept for well over 20 years at this point?

It's more that the box promises extreme pleasure, but the cenobites see things through a completely different lens than humanity. Ryan Hollinger actually did a video on it that I suggest you watch.

As for Christi, the comics explain that the cenobites will give you a choice, yet they make exceptions for those they believe will come back eventually (something along those lines)

I do wanna say, I've been reading a lot and the fact we don't have a good adaptation of Shadow over Innsmouth actually infuriates me.

 

[Estate]

Didn't Hellraiser use to be a series film about a sexual deviant finding a box hoping it would send him to land of s&m sluts only to have his skin peeled off by the only deviants even more sexually degenerate than him in all existence? With one sequel meant to tie up the loose ends with a bigger budget and more gruesome effects? How do you fuck up such a simple concept for well over 20 years at this point?

That's how it started, but the movie is more then that.
Anyway, with 12 movies to date, the lore is puked spaghetti and I think with the new movie they wanted to reboot and expand on the original stuff from the book.
The results are mixed imo, yet despite this, it's one of the better movies of the bunch.

 

[A Grey Cat]

It's more that the box promises extreme pleasure, but the cenobites see things through a completely different lens than humanity. Ryan Hollinger actually did a video on it that I suggest you watch.

As for Christi, the comics explain that the cenobites will give you a choice, yet they make exceptions for those they believe will come back eventually (something along those lines)

Oh yes of course Sorry just trying to give what some would call a "fortune cookie summary." Of the first two more or less, the poster did say they aren't a regular viewer of horror after all.

the fact we don't have a good adaptation of Shadow over Innsmouth actually infuriates me.

Lovecraft's work is notoriously difficult to adapt (especially the works that "end" by turning the text into straight up gibberish meant to symbolize the mortal protagonist finally going mad from the elder god's influence) sometimes you get a From Beyond, Reanimator, or for a more recent example Color out of space though.

 

[The Nothingness]

Just saw the Halloween Ends trailer and it looks as disjointed and aimless as you'd probably expect. I still don't get why they keep insisting Michael's human in this reboot series with no supernatural elements. He's like Jason crossed with the Terminator and seems literally unkillable, when the most he survived in the first two were a few shots to the chest through his boiler suit, which isn't completely impossible. The characters all seem as dumb as before, if not dumber, since apparently Michael's just gone under the radar for four years despite being a big lumbering dumbass who kills at random and makes no attempt at stealth, unlike the originals, and despite killing multiple cops the only law response to him is still a few idiot deputies and a senile sheriff.

The idea that Michael's a delusion and everything's been in Laurie's head also seems to have been disproven, which could've actually been an interesting twist. I'm not expecting much at this point. Like shit, if you're gonna make Michael into the Jasonator, at least own up to it and say your movie's a cheesy splatterfest. They keep up this running theme that it's serious and not supernatural, and it doesn't match up at all with what we see. Everything being Laurie's hallucination or nightmare was pretty much the only way they could justify anything in the last two movies and still make at least a little sense.

The way I see it, Blumhouse wants to have their cake and eat it too regarding Michael Myers. They want to keep the ambiguous nature of the character from the original but not give a supernatural explanation like in 4-6. However with the current pop culture, the trope of a masked psycho, who's not supernatural, being hard to kill (and old, in the case of Michael and Leatherface) doesn't seem to suspend the disbelief of the audience.

 

[A Grey Cat]

Speaking of Silver Bullet and this is more a music post but I just had to say it, Jay Chattaway's score and the original song he wrote for the theme is probably his best work. Aside maybe his hauntingly beautiful score for Maniac.

The 80's power ballad synth, the vocalizations, the rocking guitar riff is all just *Chef's kiss* pure 80's magic.

 

[Calandrino]

I don't think I'm making it to 31 but ima number them anyway



speaking of which

1) The Great Yokai War (2005) - Maybe everybody else already knew Takashi Miike did a big (in Japan) budget children's fantasy film with the Battle Royale/Kill Bill girl and a lot of upskirt shots but it was news to me. It's like live action anime and I mostly didn't understand what the hell was going on. My knowledge of yokai is limited but I recognized a few common video game monsters.

2) Fall of the House of Usher (1928 ) - Actually there are two 1928 Fall of the House of Usher movies and I watched both. The American one is a short film that looks a lot like Cabinet of Dr. Caligari and will make no sense to anybody who doesn't already know the plot. The French one is about an hour and is easier to follow, but it doesn't follow the plot of the story too closely. Poe's not very cinematic but filmmakers have spent 100 years adapting his stories and making stuff up to fill in the blanks.

Well, I'm up to date on my Halloween boosters so far.

3) Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959) - A bit better than I expected. The monsters are cool and the human bits are halfway watchable.

4) The Monster Walks (1932) - I thought I'd watch the most cliche old timey horror movie possible, and here it is: set at an old mansion during a thunderstorm, a murder occurs after a dead rich man's will reading. And there's an ape on the loose, and there's a dumb cowardly black guy that calls everybody BAWCE.

5) The Vampire Bat (1933) - Features Dwight Frye and Fay Wray, but no vampires or bats.

6) The Manster (1959) - Like a cheesy 50s version of the 80s The Fly (but not much like the 50s The Fly). Has a famous and gruesome shot of the protagonist discovering a mutation on his shoulder...

7) A Bucket of Blood (1959) - I guess this is where the original Little Shop of Horrors borrowed most of its plot from, although this is the better movie.

8 ) Hellraiser (1987) - A rewatch in honor of skipping the remake. Frank is literally Hunter Biden: photographs himself with Asian prostitutes, bangs his sister-in-law, creeps on his niece, and even makes a bargain with an evil Chinaman. Durr, somehow never realized Garak was in this.

9) Young Frankenstein (1974) - Scared the hell out of me.

10) The Devil Bat (1940) - Bela Lugosi trains an adorable fruitbat to kill anyone wearing an aftershave he developed, as revenge for something or other. Would have been better if it were just Bela Lugosi monologing about his evil plans for an hour.

11) Murders in the Rue Morgue (1932) - Reminds me a lot of Cabinet of Dr. Caligari and not very much of the Poe story. Really dark movie, nice-looking, but the story's not great.

 

[Product Placement]

I'm not really a horror connoisseur like the rest of you guys in here, generally only watch a few classics here and there but I took the new Hellraiser for a spin yesterday and man. It really just summed up perfectly almost everything I hate about the genre in modern day. Everything feels so sterile, I really can't describe it well, but the shittiness/low budget of older classics really give this edge to the films, everything just felt too clean, I remember feeling gross just watching the normal scenes in the original Hellraiser.

I have to give credit I did wince a bit when the guy got his arm degloved but, apart from that the movie was completely boring and infuriating.

Ain't no way I'm going to some creepy ass abandoned mansion for my gay room mates druggie sister.

It's not the shitness or low budget, it's the fact all older stuff was shoot on film. Film nearly always makes a movie look better especially horror movie, digital movie does have benefits but to get those benefits need to put the time in like a David Fincher.

Film grain just works so well with horror, and I mean real film grain not a shitty filter like in Werewolf By Night.

 

[Simp Biscuit]

So, my friend has been lying to me for over a decade about seeing "Demons" when they actually saw "Night of the Demons" (I know, I made them watch that too) and I finally sat them down to watch it in full last weekend.

"Demons" (1985)

Demons (1985) - IMDb

Demons: Directed by Lamberto Bava. With Urbano Barberini, Natasha Hovey, Karl Zinny, Fiore Argento. A group of random people is invited to a screening of a mysterious movie, only to find themselves trapped in the theater with ravenous demons.

www.imdb.com

It's seriously been around 20 years since I last gave it a spin and it's a mixed bag, for sure a classic, but a lot of the practical effects just don't hold up. Also, the jail bait coke skank looked like she was 13 years old, she reminded me of the first HIV virgin victim from the movie "KIDS", and to add insult to injury, her sad tit was the only one flashed in a movie chock full of Italian foxes who oozed sexuality (looking at you big red the ticket taker).
OK, coomer hat off, the real villain in this movie is not the demons, but the movie theater itself. I think the environment might only be matched by "The Prince of Darkness" by how slimy, broken down and hopeless the building appears and feels.
The two male Caucasian leads look like Italian Jensen Eckles from Supernatural and a non gay face Ezra Miller (along with the coke punk who scrapes coke crumbs off the sad titty with a razor - they could be brothers). The actress who starred as the initial black hooker demon deserved an Oscar for her performance, why don't we get diversity hires like this in 2022?
This movie also had the "Ominious Fast moving shrieking evil wind" effect in the middle of the movie that was utitilized by the deadites in The Evil Dead, but it seems like they forgot to let us know what it was and never employed the effect again. This did indeed make boomers shit their pants in fright in 1985.
But damn, that location was like a Forgotten Malls of America youtube video, I just don't know if it can be matched. Zoomers who enjoy that endless computer yellow hallway generated "horror" genre might want to check this movie out, it's in the same wheelhouse.
I don't what to see a remake in this current reality, but I like to imagine that in another dimension Zack Snyder did a remake in 2005 right after Dawn of the Dead with Steve Moore (The Guest) scoring the the soundtrack.
Has anyone since this movie had the balls to drop a helicopter into the mix for fun??? Everything is just so formulaic and boring now.

 

[Simp Biscuit]

It's not the shitness or low budget, it's the fact all older stuff was shoot on film. Film nearly always makes a movie look better especially horror movie, digital movie does have benefits but to get those benefits need to put the time in like a David Fincher.

Film grain just works so well with horror, and I mean real film grain not a shitty filter like in Werewolf By Night.

Not only that, but LED lighting has made everything seem so generic and soulless. Halogen lights were and are just so much better, but more expensive and I can't imagine many will be around once the bulbs finally burn out now that cheap LED is the standard. A local theater here changed over to LED stage lighting during the covid break, and the actors all have to cake on make up like a Fox Newz thot in HD, the "warm" setting somehow shows flaws in the costumes like a Macy's dressing room bathed in fluorescent lighting.
You can see all the expertise of film making degenerate in every medium, sound, light, editing, costume, acting as we march into the age of netflixation.
Hopefully once we get bathed in EMP's we can return to tradition and make gas lighting great again.