/horror/ general megathread - Let's talk about movies and shit.

[modern horrors]

I just watched Alex Garland's "Men".
There's very beautiful shots of forest and countryside.
A few creepy eerie scenes. Laughably bad CGI face on the kid during his first appearance.
Nice body horror ending.

 

[Internet War Criminal]

Watched another indie-ish horror called The Girl Who Got Away (2021), and it wasn't bad at all. Plot goes: 'Girl escapes from a female serial killer, the only child victim that made it through and the others were all killed. A couple of decades later, the serial killer escapes'. I'm not gonna say more than that, but the plot is nowhere near as basic as it sounds, as not to spoil it.

I'd say it's a 8/10, definitely worth a watch and the gore was surprisingly satisfying. You'd think it'd be PG-13 but no we see full gunshot blasts to the face, etc...

Now I'm about to watch Men and expecting to hate the fuck out of it.

Holy SHIT is Men (2022) fucking shit so far. I'm about an hour in and side from a few great shots (no one denied that Alex Garland is good at that), I'm fucking bored out of my mind. It might be getting better just now, feels like a turn just happened during the conversation with the priest, but I don't have high hopes it's gonna get better. So far it's a 2/10 stay the fuck away as far as rating goes.

Also, the main character is a cunt, sure, if a partner is threatening to commit suicide to keep you in a relationship it's a fucking dick move, but you don't react to it by going REEEEE NO THAT'S WHY IM LEAVING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE you fucking get them mental health, get them committed or some shit against their will and then you leave their ass, you don't fucking just tell them off, walk away, and then be like HOW COULD THEY KILL THEYSELVES IDGI IM SUCH A VICTIM

Fuck that movie, fuck Alex Garland and fuck A24, I thought Last Night in Soho was bad, but we might have finally answered the question "Is there a limit to how much up your own arse can you crawl up to", and the answer is "Alex Garland's Men".

Put that quote on a fucking poster.

 

[BrunoMattei]

I torrented Men just because but I think I'll save it for a cringe watch. Garland seems all over the place as a director. He was the real director of Dredd which was fucking amazing and goes without saying. I didn't like Ex Machina at all. I love Annihilation. As a screenwriter he's consistently good.

 

[Internet War Criminal]

I torrented Men just because but I think I'll save it for a cringe watch. Garland seems all over the place as a director. He was the real director of Dredd which was fucking amazing and goes without saying. I didn't like Ex Machina at all. I love Annihilation. As a screenwriter he's consistently good.

I disliked Annihilation. I thought the first... 3/4th were great, but then it went up its own arse too much and didn't stick the landing and made me feel badly about the whole thing in retrospect

He's (can be) an incredible (screen)writer and/or director:
- The Beach
- 28 Days Later
- Dredd
- Ex Machina

but holy shit, when he misses the mark, he really misses the mark.

------

As far as the movie goes:

OH NO, APPLES FALLING AND THE RUNNING GUY FROM GET OUT SOO SPOOKY holy shit this is bad.

Yeah let's make that 1/10 nevermind my optimism earlier due to one small series of very well directed shots.

-10/10 one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Don't watch Men. Don't torrent Men. Don't talk about Men. It doesn't exist, it's not a thing, it was never a thing, it will never be a thing.

You would be better off watching a Peele movie, which in comparison is an absolute master of subtle nuances where you cannot detect a single note of a message in his movies.

Fuck everything, and more than anything, fuck you Alex Garland and A24 you fucking hacks.

And more importantly :

I just watched Alex Garland's "Men".
There's very beautiful shots of forest and countryside.
A few creepy eerie scenes. Laughably bad CGI face on the kid during his first appearance.
Nice body horror ending.

Fuck you you useless nigger you should be banned for posting anything positive about this.

The best thing only good thing about the movie about the movie is the use of 'Love Song' in the intro/outro.

The only time in my life I can remember being so fucking angry at movies was the night I fucking watched Lords of Salem and Only God Forgives back to back fucking REEEEe.

 

[TVB]

I actually did watch Men a while back as I am a huge fan of Alex Garland's filmography. Dredd and Ex Machina are, honestly, two of his best works. That said, for fuck's sake, it seems as if a brick suddenly hit his head when he thought of making this because it's absolute hot garbage, On the real my nigga, this felt more like a parody of his work than it does his own movie, it's very bad. It's as comparable as shit like Hostel II, where Eli Roth forgot how to make a good movie (in this case, following up the first Hostel) and made a shitty sequel with references to Friday the 13th and various video nasties like Cannibal Holocaust that he religiously gushes over.

Yeah, stay away from Men. It's a shitshow.

 

[Begemot]

Truth or Dare is a perfectly fine movie to get drunk with friends and riff on it as you watch it

There's a 50/50 chance that Smile is either a surprise hit, or absolute generic shit.

The bit with the pool table was legit laugh-out-loud funny. It's somewhat self-aware and knows the beats of its place within horror.

 

[BrunoMattei]

I actually did watch Men a while back as I am a huge fan of Alex Garland's filmography. Dredd and Ex Machina are, honestly, two of his best works. That said, for fuck's sake, it seems as if a brick suddenly hit his head when he thought of making this because it's absolute hot garbage, On the real my nigga, this felt more like a parody of his work than it does his own movie, it's very bad. It's as comparable as shit like Hostel II, where Eli Roth forgot how to make a good movie (in this case, following up the first Hostel) and made a shitty sequel with references to Friday the 13th and various video nasties like Cannibal Holocaust that he religiously gushes over.

Yeah, stay away from Men. It's a shitshow.

I love Annihilation but it appears to be very divisive.

 

[Calandrino]

-10/10 one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Don't watch Men. Don't torrent Men. Don't talk about Men. It doesn't exist, it's not a thing, it was never a thing, it will never be a thing.

That said, for fuck's sake, it seems as if a brick suddenly hit his head when he thought of making this because it's absolute hot garbage, On the real my nigga, this felt more like a parody of his work than it does his own movie, it's very bad.

Well, now I kinda want to see it.

 

[Internet War Criminal]

, it's very bad. It's as comparable as shit like Hostel II, where Eli Roth forgot how to make a good movie

I would rewatch Hostel 2 literally a thousand times rather than watch Men one more time.

The bit with the pool table was legit laugh-out-loud funny. It's somewhat self-aware and knows the beats of its place within horror.

100%. Nothing wrong with movies embracing what they are and having fun with it.

Well, now I kinda want to see it.

Don't. It's know 'So bad it's good' territory, it's full on 'Holy shit why am I still watching this'.

 

[The Nothingness]

I was originally going to put this post in this thread but I figured it would fit better here. I hope that after Halloween Ends is released the short period of rebooting horror/slasher franchises with legacy characters begins to wind down. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise tried jumping on the bandwagon with their latest installment on Netflix but actress of the original final girl was deceased so having someone else portray the character only to be killed off unceremoniously was in bad taste. I haven't watched the Chucky series so I don't know if Andy gets the Jake Skywalker treatment. The 2021 Candyman featured Tony Todd in a brief cameo as it ignored the original ending to cash in on recent current events involving black people. The creators of Jason Voorhees seem to be fighting over who will have complete ownership so don't expect the winter setting, or any new, installment of Friday the 13th any time soon. Robert Englund turned 75 on June 6th and I don't think he can still go as Freddy Krueger even if fans want it after the failed 2010 remake. Finally the only other franchise that seems to anything new upcoming is Hellraiser with both a remake coming to Hulu and a television series coming to HBO.

 

[White Devil]

I was originally going to put this post in this thread but I figured it would fit better here. I hope that after Halloween Ends is released the short period of rebooting horror/slasher franchises with legacy characters begins to wind down. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise tried jumping on the bandwagon with their latest installment on Netflix but actress of the original final girl was deceased so having someone else portray the character only to be killed off unceremoniously was in bad taste. I haven't watched the Chucky series so I don't know if Andy gets the Jake Skywalker treatment. The 2021 Candyman featured Tony Todd in a brief cameo as it ignored the original ending to cash in on recent current events involving black people. The creators of Jason Voorhees seem to be fighting over who will have complete ownership so don't expect the winter setting, or any new, installment of Friday the 13th any time soon. Robert Englund turned 75 on June 6th and I don't think he can still go as Freddy Krueger even if fans want it after the failed 2010 remake. Finally the only other franchise that seems to anything new upcoming is Hellraiser with both a remake coming to Hulu and a television series coming to HBO.

I'd rather the franchises die than get current year reboots.

Edit: Both Halloween remake attempts sucked shit. NoES remake sucked shit. Hell raiser hasn't had a good movie since the 80s. TCM Netflix sucked shit.

I liked the F13 remake, pot farmer Jason really amused me. However, they went nowhere after that and like you said, it's in legal hell now. Hollywood is allergic to originality so all they can do is rape existing properties. I'd rather go without.

 

[BrunoMattei]

I'd rather the franchises die than get current year reboots.

Edit: Both Halloween remake attempts sucked shit. NoES remake sucked shit. Hell raiser hasn't had a good movie since the 80s. TCM Netflix sucked shit.

I liked the F13 remake, pot farmer Jason really amused me. However, they went nowhere after that and like you said, it's in legal hell now. Hollywood is allergic to originality so all they can do is rape existing properties. I'd rather go without.

I liked Hellraiser Inferno (part 5) and part 3 is a guilty pleasure of mine. Otherwise I agree.

 

[modern horrors]

John Carpenter's "The Thing" turned 40 years old a few days ago.

 

[Calandrino]

I was originally going to put this post in this thread but I figured it would fit better here. I hope that after Halloween Ends is released the short period of rebooting horror/slasher franchises with legacy characters begins to wind down. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise tried jumping on the bandwagon with their latest installment on Netflix but actress of the original final girl was deceased so having someone else portray the character only to be killed off unceremoniously was in bad taste. I haven't watched the Chucky series so I don't know if Andy gets the Jake Skywalker treatment. The 2021 Candyman featured Tony Todd in a brief cameo as it ignored the original ending to cash in on recent current events involving black people. The creators of Jason Voorhees seem to be fighting over who will have complete ownership so don't expect the winter setting, or any new, installment of Friday the 13th any time soon. Robert Englund turned 75 on June 6th and I don't think he can still go as Freddy Krueger even if fans want it after the failed 2010 remake. Finally the only other franchise that seems to anything new upcoming is Hellraiser with both a remake coming to Hulu and a television series coming to HBO.

It's a sign of how iconic 1980s horror still is, and how forgettable pop culture has become. It's not entirely a recent trend and it's liable to get worse before it gets better. Netflix Chainsaw Massacre was following Halloween 18's lead, but Ash vs Evil Dead came a couple years earlier, and the Chucky movies had already brought Andy back. TCM had already done a post-remake continuity deboot with Texas Chainsaw 3D, even after the Michael Bay remake did so well.

Halloween H20 was an early example of this, and it made a ton of money, but what even happened in that movie? Nobody knows, so H2018 was free to ignore it. The Elm Street remake actually made a ton of money too, but Robert Englund is still the real Freddy Krueger. The upcoming TCM video game is, once more, ignoring everything after the first movie, even though 99%+ of the the people who will buy it weren't alive when the first movie came out. The only remake that sprouted any kind of roots was IT... like it or not, I think Skarsgård will be the most recognizable Pennywise from now on.

The more disposable and soulless media gets, the more it tries to latch onto something real. People don't want a remake, they want the "real Leatherface", even an awful facsimile of him as seen in Netflix Chainsaw Massacre. Disney is already dipping their toes into deepfaking the voice of Darth Vader. Freddy Krueger is always under a lot of makeup, and speaks with a distorted voice... we may see a new "Robert Englund" NOES after his death, when the tech gets cheap enough.

 

[Oats12345]

It's a sign of how iconic 1980s horror still is, and how forgettable pop culture has become. It's not entirely a recent trend and it's liable to get worse before it gets better. Netflix Chainsaw Massacre was following Halloween 18's lead, but Ash vs Evil Dead came a couple years earlier, and the Chucky movies had already brought Andy back. TCM had already done a post-remake continuity deboot with Texas Chainsaw 3D, even after the Michael Bay remake did so well.

Halloween H20 was an early example of this, and it made a ton of money, but what even happened in that movie? Nobody knows, so H2018 was free to ignore it. The Elm Street remake actually made a ton of money too, but Robert Englund is still the real Freddy Krueger. The upcoming TCM video game is, once more, ignoring everything after the first movie, even though 99%+ of the the people who will buy it weren't alive when the first movie came out. The only remake that sprouted any kind of roots was IT... like it or not, I think Skarsgård will be the most recognizable Pennywise from now on.

The more disposable and soulless media gets, the more it tries to latch onto something real. People don't want a remake, they want the "real Leatherface", even an awful facsimile of him as seen in Netflix Chainsaw Massacre. Disney is already dipping their toes into deepfaking the voice of Darth Vader. Freddy Krueger is always under a lot of makeup, and speaks with a distorted voice... we may see a new "Robert Englund" NOES after his death, when the tech gets cheap enough.

Well in all fairness there were plenty of star wars media where Darth Vader was being voiced by someone else before current trends.

 

[Your Starter for 10]

I just saw The Sadness. Basically a Chinese version of The Crazies. Had some great gore in it and a good 'lead bad guy zombie' and some pretty funny 'oh I guess they're gonna go there then' scenes.

There was a pretty brief but extremely entertaining (at least to me) take on muh governments during the pandemic that starts it all off...kind of pushed the movie from just ok to actually good for me. So the government (specifically the president) is pushing that 'there is no pandemic' and even if there was, we wouldn't want to do anything about it, cause it would hurt the economy. Also after everything is clearly going to shit zombie apocalypse style, they come out and say well we know things are going to shit, but it could be for any reason, and definitely isn't the virus that we said wasn't going to mutate and all. Anyway, if it's meant to be social commentary on COVID or whatever, it's so ineptly done that it's freaking hilarious, and if it's just in there as some Chinese cultural thing that I don't get then it's pretty funny too. It's only like maybe 5-8 minutes of the movie in any case, but I had a good sensible chuckle.

Also, if you're a gore-hound, check this out and see how you handle this one, cause I watch death videos and shit all the time but there were still parts of this that rustled my jimmies. Not so much from the gore itself, but more from the (and don't read this spoiler if you intend to do the Pepsi challenge here): phlegm spitting and chewed food (?) spewing, which earned my best Cleveland Brown "eww that's nasty" award.

 

[BrunoMattei]

I just found out about this thing:

Downloading a copy now. Only downside is that it's a Blu rip that's 31 gigs. I think it's on Apple's streaming service so if you're soyboy or know a soyboy you can try to check it out.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

I saw The Black Phone and it was a pretty decent movie. However, it's one of those movies you definitely should not see in a theatre since I saw it there as my friend dragged me there, and it was clearly an atmospheric movie but it was hard to be immersed with retarded kids talking over scenes and a dumbass lady shining her phone light.

So it's pretty obvious but wait for this to come on a streaming service, pirate it, or if you want to see it in theatres then do so on a day no one is around.

 

[Product Placement]

Watched a horror movie from Australia a few days ago called Hounds of Love
The plot
"Vicki Maloney is randomly abducted from a suburban street by a disturbed couple. As she observes the dynamic between her captors she quickly realises she must drive a wedge between them if she is to survive."

Was very well done, while set in the 80's it doesn't go for the whole 80's nostalgia root. Only issue I had was the plot with the mother felt a bit too hamfisted but outside that really good watch,

 

[BrunoMattei]

I just found out about this thing:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=hm45yGSwArY
Downloading a copy now. Only downside is that it's a Blu rip that's 31 gigs. I think it's on Apple's streaming service so if you're soyboy or know a soyboy you can try to check it out.

It's really not for everyone. It's not a "fun" kind of horror movie in the slightest. From the get go it is deeply unsettling in an impending doom sort of way because it really captures that casual benign kind of cruelty of children.

Spoiler: Do you remember that puppy scene from Elfen Lied?

The entire movie has that kind of tone to it and yes there's a brutal cat death. Although no real animals were killed of course.

Okay, so it's that kind of movie. It wants to be unpleasant. Okay. My philosophy regarding that -and I think most people are in agreement- that it has to have an overall point even if it's more on the simplistic side such as "Fascism is bad." Ala Salo: the 120 Days of Sodom. It says more than that of course. But when you have deeply unlikable characters that brutally murder a cat and casually torture an autistic girl then you don't care about them. Especially when there's not much of an arc; kids get powers and shit hits the fan. It just encourages the audience to want to see them die ala Beware! Children at Play. Although, it doesn't apply to all of the children in the movie.

I don't know if I'd recommend it outside of those interested in killer kid movies. The key words I'd use to describe it would be awkward and uncomfortable. Like a realistic Village of the Damned. It's also very slow. 30 minutes could have been cut out easily.

In case you're curious, I still think the best killer kid movie is Who Can Kill a Child?