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I finished watched The Lighthouse with Robert Pattinson and Wilhelm Dafoe. I suppose it could be classed as a paychological thriller but there's supernatural elements like mermaids and orgasmic lighthouses. There's most certainly a Lovecraftian homage present which I can appreciate.

I got the feeling that the director really, really wanted an oscar. It's not a bad film but I don't think it was as deep as it was trying to be. Certainly not as deep as Winslow wanted to be in mermaid pussy.
 
Someone at work (who turned me on to Squid Game before it got really big, so I kind of trust him) told me about the Netflix series Archive 81. I liked the basic premise a lot so I started watching it. It's technically supposed to be scary so I'm posting about it here because nobody seems to have discussed it on the Farms.

You know that feeling you get when you watch something great and think, "I could never have made this?" I don't get that feeling at all from this show. It's all pretty amateurish... the scripts are mostly unimpressive and uninspired, the acting is surprisingly bad (especially from the leads), the scares are not that scary, and a lot of it is unconvincing. I love the premise, the setting, and the tone, but that's about it.

Some of it you could call "found footage..." the idea is a guy who restores and preserves old media is hired to reclaim and restore old video tapes that were damaged in a fire. But they bitch out and use that found footage concept to bookend/introduce regularly-shot scenes, which is lame as hell. And still the found footage aspect still doesn't make much sense, with characters toting around and leaving their cameras running (and absurdly pointing them at the action) when nobody would.

Also, this show is based on a fucking podcast, so I guess that's how far Hollywood has fallen now. And SJWs are review-bombing it because the original story had one of the leads as a lesbo but the show has her as straight, which is hilarious.

Anyone else watching this shit? I started the third episode but turned it off. I might finish it by leaving it running for background noise.
 
I've been in a mood to watch gory, sleazy, no budget shit. So I re-watched Night of the Demon.


I say this unironically but I think this is the best Bigfoot movie. I know, I know, dudes are like "B-but Bruno, there's The Legend of Boggy Creek! Joe Bob Briggs loves Boggy Creek!" I know, but I never got the adoration of that flick. There's two ways to do a successful Bigfoot movie: play up the ambiguity and make it spooky or just go for the gore. This flick does the later and it has a scene where a guy get's his dick ripped off by the Bigfoot. Enough said.

Then there's Killing Spree:


I admire Tim Ritter in a weird way. He's not a great director but he's passionate about the genre and directed Truth or Dare when he was 18 and the fucking thing was shot on 16MM and had a passable budget for that kind of project. I don't know how an 18-year-old gets to that point without being a rich kid or having well off relatives or just getting an inheritance but the guy got his movie made and has made several more. The thing about Tim Ritter is that he just makes the same movie over and over again: it's always about a regular guy in suburbia, his wife may or may not be fucking around and he loses his mind. That's it. That's the plot. But it's a certain kind of comforting nonsense.
 
frozenrunner said:
Someone at work (who turned me on to Squid Game before it got really big, so I kind of trust him) told me about the Netflix series Archive 81. I liked the basic premise a lot so I started watching it. It's technically supposed to be scary so I'm posting about it here because nobody seems to have discussed it on the Farms.

You know that feeling you get when you watch something great and think, "I could never have made this?" I don't get that feeling at all from this show. It's all pretty amateurish... the scripts are mostly unimpressive and uninspired, the acting is surprisingly bad (especially from the leads), the scares are not that scary, and a lot of it is unconvincing. I love the premise, the setting, and the tone, but that's about it.

Some of it you could call "found footage..." the idea is a guy who restores and preserves old media is hired to reclaim and restore old video tapes that were damaged in a fire. But they bitch out and use that found footage concept to bookend/introduce regularly-shot scenes, which is lame as hell. And still the found footage aspect still doesn't make much sense, with characters toting around and leaving their cameras running (and absurdly pointing them at the action) when nobody would.

Also, this show is based on a fucking podcast, so I guess that's how far Hollywood has fallen now. And SJWs are review-bombing it because the original story had one of the leads as a lesbo but the show has her as straight, which is hilarious.

Anyone else watching this shit? I started the third episode but turned it off. I might finish it by leaving it running for background noise.
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I guess they now know how straight fans of products feel when their favorite characters are made gay or lesbian
 
The Best Pet Reptile? said:
The best Bigfoot movie is actually Abominable (2006). Okay, maybe not, but it's surprisingly good for a Syfy original.
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Some of the earlier stuff before they went balls-deep on lolasylum was decent.
Also regarding Bigfoot movies there's "The Geek" which is a porno. And manages to call Bigfoot one of the only things nobody has ever called them.
 
New Trailer for the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre came out


Not going to lie, I was open minded for it until they showed Sally from the first movie which at that point it just became cringeworthy. If we are at a point with horror films that even mainstream series like Scream are making fun of this soft reboot shit, then it's pretty damn bad.

I can't wait for Friday the 13th (2023) where we have super old survivor Tommy Jarvis fighting Jason.
 
Doctor of Autism said:
New Trailer for the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre came out

https://youtube.com/watch?v=zcI6SFiK_yk
Not going to lie, I was open minded for it until they showed Sally from the first movie which at that point it just became cringeworthy. If we are at a point with horror films that even mainstream series like Scream are making fun of this soft reboot shit, then it's pretty damn bad.

I can't wait for Friday the 13th (2023) where we have super old survivor Tommy Jarvis fighting Jason.
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What sucks is the orginal Sally actress died a few years ago. So they had to find a different old actress to play her.

Also we get the old Tommy Jarvis fighting Jason in the Friday the 13th fan films.
 
Doctor of Autism said:
New Trailer for the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre came out

https://youtube.com/watch?v=zcI6SFiK_yk
Not going to lie, I was open minded for it until they showed Sally from the first movie which at that point it just became cringeworthy. If we are at a point with horror films that even mainstream series like Scream are making fun of this soft reboot shit, then it's pretty damn bad.

I can't wait for Friday the 13th (2023) where we have super old survivor Tommy Jarvis fighting Jason.
Click to expand...
As soon as I saw the new/old Sally I was like "Really? We're just going to blatantly ripoff the new Halloween movies?" To be fair... It's a decent enough concept considering how all of the sequels completely ignored Sally. But it's obvious what the producers are doing and the straight to Netflix release does not build confidence.

I think this franchise can be salvaged but the makers have to think outside the box and remember what worked in the original and what didn't work in the many sequels. It makes sense why the original director's were replaced and you have a Frankenstein's Monster of a movie now.
 
frozenrunner said:
Maybe the internet has desensitized me to far too much, I don't know. Wouldn't recommend unless you're a cinema sex pervert like Jay Bauman.
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Speaking of cinema sex perverts...

I watched What Have They Done to Our Daughters (1974) , a giallo. The sexual abuse of underage girls is condemned by use of the same cinematic language that Italian filmmakers used to condemn cannibalism, animal abuse, rape, castration, and so on. Meaning: the actress playing the 14 year old victim is pretty much always topless, so the audience can see for themselves how sick and wrong it is to leer at underage girls. Made me think of the bit in the Paedogeddon episode of Brass Eye where the molestation of a 12 year old girl is "dramatized" with an attractive 25 year old actress.

Digging themselves a little deeper, some additional porn footage was filmed for an alternate hardcore cut of the movie. This practice wasn't uncommon for the time and place but is especially inappropriate/hilarious in this case. Although the footage was never used, Arrow Video has done a great and entirely necessary service to the history of cinema by preserving as a special feature their DVD release. I fastforwarded through it and I can assure you that it is absolutely cursed and I regret my decision.

Anyway, the movie's not bad!

And speaking of child molesters, I gave Sleepaway Camp a rewatch and I have to say it's a better and more unique movie than I recall. A very sharp viewer could make an educated guess about both the twist and the killer a minute or two after the prologue ends.

Doctor of Autism said:
New Trailer for the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre came out

https://youtube.com/watch?v=zcI6SFiK_yk
Not going to lie, I was open minded for it until they showed Sally from the first movie which at that point it just became cringeworthy. If we are at a point with horror films that even mainstream series like Scream are making fun of this soft reboot shit, then it's pretty damn bad.

I can't wait for Friday the 13th (2023) where we have super old survivor Tommy Jarvis fighting Jason.
Click to expand...
Every TCM is either a soft or hard reboot so they were beating that dead horse before the body went cold. Not sure if that makes it better or worse. (Leatherface? Meeting modern day cancel culture and social media? Talk about your wacky fish-out-of-water sitch! Yeah I can't wait to not watch that.)

Anyway, Corey Feldman's only ~50 and yeah he's pitched that and yeah nobody cares so...
 
Calandrino said:
Speaking of cinema sex perverts...

I watched What Have They Done to Our Daughters (1974) , a giallo. The sexual abuse of underage girls is condemned by use of the same cinematic language that Italian filmmakers used to condemn cannibalism, animal abuse, rape, castration, and so on. Meaning: the actress playing the 14 year old victim is pretty much always topless, so the audience can see for themselves how sick and wrong it is to leer at underage girls. Made me think of the bit in the Paedogeddon episode of Brass Eye where the molestation of a 12 year old girl is "dramatized" with an attractive 25 year old actress.

Digging themselves a little deeper, some additional porn footage was filmed for an alternate hardcore cut of the movie. This practice wasn't uncommon for the time and place but is especially inappropriate/hilarious in this case. Although the footage was never used, Arrow Video has done a great and entirely necessary service to the history of cinema by preserving as a special feature their DVD release. I fastforwarded through it and I can assure you that it is absolutely cursed and I regret my decision.

Anyway, the movie's not bad!

And speaking of child molesters, I gave Sleepaway Camp a rewatch and I have to say it's a better and more unique movie than I recall. A very sharp viewer could make an educated guess about both the twist and the killer a minute or two after the prologue ends.


Every TCM is either a soft or hard reboot so they were beating that dead horse before the body went cold. Not sure if that makes it better or worse. (Leatherface? Meeting modern day cancel culture and social media? Talk about your wacky fish-out-of-water sitch! Yeah I can't wait to not watch that.)

Anyway, Corey Feldman's only ~50 and yeah he's pitched that and yeah nobody cares so...
Click to expand...
I don't remember anything about What Have They Done To Your Daughters. I remember being unimpressed with it in comparison to the previous film of the "trilogy" What Have They Done to Solange that stars Camille Keaton from I Spit on Your Grave. I don't think I've ever seen the 3rd one Red Rings of Fear which has a similar plot as the other two. I remember Solange being an okay Giallo.

I prefer Sleepaway Camp 2 more but the first film is "good" aside from the terrible acting of the kids but their acting is very particular: it's certainly bad but it's very accurate to how kids act so it weirdly balances out. A good point of comparison is the movie Amin: the Rise and Fall. It's an historical/exploitation movie about the infamous cannibal dictator who embraced being called Black Hitler.


The acting of the guy playing Amin is bad. But he looks just like Amin and he acts just like him:


Great flick and so is Idi Amin: a Self Portrait. Fuck the Last King of Scotland despite Forest Whitaker killing it as Amin.
 
BrunoMattei said:
As soon as I saw the new/old Sally I was like "Really? We're just going to blatantly ripoff the new Halloween movies?" To be fair... It's a decent enough concept considering how all of the sequels completely ignored Sally. But it's obvious what the producers are doing and the straight to Netflix release does not build confidence.

I think this franchise can be salvaged but the makers have to think outside the box and remember what worked in the original and what didn't work in the many sequels. It makes sense why the original director's were replaced and you have a Frankenstein's Monster of a movie now.
Click to expand...
Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a series that can easily work in modern day too. It's just that they took the most boring route possible with the soft reboot shit.
 
Doctor of Autism said:
Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a series that can easily work in modern day too. It's just that they took the most boring route possible with the soft reboot shit.
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For sure. I remember reading about a case in Germany a few years ago where an elderly couple went on a years-long cannibal spree and killed something like 50 people.
 
BrunoMattei said:
For sure. I remember reading about a case in Germany a few years ago where an elderly couple went on a years-long cannibal spree and killed something like 50 people.
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Yeah like there is a lot of modern day stuff that they could take inspiration from. But studios would rather do boring shit like make the Sawyers good bois who dindu nuffin who were attacked unfairly by corrupt cops, prequels that show Leatherface becoming evil, or basically Halloween 2018.
 
Are horror movies just not allowed to be scary anymore? All this nudging and winking at the camera shit gets old fast. Like, I’m a total weenie when it comes to horror, but this is getting sad.
 
BrunoMattei said:
That one started out well enough but then devolved and made no sense. It treads that line where you wonder if it was just an excuse for the director to live out their incest fantasy.
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The ending to that movie pissed me off. It's literally some hipster walking out onto the street after the whole ordeal.
Calandrino said:
Digging themselves a little deeper, some additional porn footage was filmed for an alternate hardcore cut of the movie. This practice wasn't uncommon for the time and place but is especially inappropriate/hilarious in this case. Although the footage was never used, Arrow Video has done a great and entirely necessary service to the history of cinema by preserving as a special feature their DVD release. I fastforwarded through it and I can assure you that it is absolutely cursed and I regret my decision.
Click to expand...
Is this the same Arrow Video that complains on their official podcast about problematic content in the films they release and devoted an enitre episode to condemning Alejandro Jodorowsky because of some crazy comment he made after Arrow re-released his films? But they're okay with releasing hardcore footage for a movie about the rape and murder of teenage girls? :story:
 
SteelPlatedHeart said:
Are horror movies just not allowed to be scary anymore? All this nudging and winking at the camera shit gets old fast. Like, I’m a total weenie when it comes to horror, but this is getting sad.
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Like he can work for movies that were always envisioned as horror comedies (i.e. the entire Scream series), but that sort of humor really does not work for Texas Chainsaw Massacre. There was a lot of black humor and minor gags in the first two films (really the only good films in this "franchise") but the trailer showed humor that felt like a cringeworthy attempt to appeal to the youth. This just feels like a shallow movie that wants to ape off of the success of other soft reboots with no real ideas of it's own.
 
Doctor of Autism said:
Like he can work for movies that were always envisioned as horror comedies (i.e. the entire Scream series), but that sort of humor really does not work for Texas Chainsaw Massacre. There was a lot of black humor and minor gags in the first two films (really the only good films in this "franchise") but the trailer showed humor that felt like a cringeworthy attempt to appeal to the youth. This just feels like a shallow movie that wants to ape off of the success of other soft reboots with no real ideas of it's own.
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I like part 3 and will always defend it.
 
The Token Ethnic said:
The ending to that movie pissed me off. It's literally some hipster walking out onto the street after the whole ordeal.
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Which is pretty predictable because the movie is low budget and we didn't see the outside world until then. So what else were they going to do?

Like I said, the ending just kind of annoyed me. By then I was not invested in the film and just wanted to see the chick naked some more.
 
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