/horror/ general megathread - Let's talk about movies and shit.

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I thought it sucked. You've got a plot revolving around a heist... in Las Vegas... during a zombie apocalypse... and yet everything about it is really goddamn boring.
 
BrunoMattei said:
I thought Army of the Dead was fun in a turn off your brain kind of way. Big problem I had with it is that it ripped off Aliens and these people who are essentially just mercenaries were way too eager to sacrifice themselves for the team. You can do that in Aliens because the Marines have been around each for a long time and have developed comradery. You can't do that with a bunch of rando's. I've never seen Army of Thieves and have no interest.
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Tor Lugosi said:
I thought it sucked. You've got a plot revolving around a heist... in Las Vegas... during a zombie apocalypse... and yet everything about it is really goddamn boring.
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I'm kind of inbetween those opinions.

I think it had potential to be fun, but sadly they wasted most of it imo. I don't think it was boring, at least not most of the time, but it should have been way more entertaining. Overall, just felt pretty meh.
 
Tor Lugosi said:
I thought it sucked. You've got a plot revolving around a heist... in Las Vegas... during a zombie apocalypse... and yet everything about it is really goddamn boring.
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The best thing about it was the credits, which could have been its own series. Beyond that it was at least 30 minutes too long, uninteresting characters (including the one who might as well have worn a shirt with I AM GOING TO BETRAY THE TEAM emblazoned on it) full of subplots that went nowhere such as how some of the zombies appeared to be robots and the rain bringing dead bodies back, and half the shots just looked out of focus.
 
Obie said:
In compliance with the "and shit" specification of this thread, Bram Stoker's Dracula must go down as the worst vampire movie ever made. Sure, there are far cheaper, worse-scripted, more poorly acted examples of vampire cinema, but none of them manages to pull of the amazing feat of incompetence Francis Ford Coppola does by making Van Helsing a much scarier character than Dracula.

Minus 5 stars.
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Because it wasn't horror. It was a romantic tragedy more than anything else.
 
I saw a few horror films over the past few weeks.

Spring is a man-meets-monster horror story, and though I found the biological explanation for the monster a bit sketchy I thought the romance was well done.

Sea Fever is basically Cabin Fever on a ship with vastly better characters. Sometimes I wonder if Eli Roth is one of those lizard people you read about in conspiracy theories because none of his characters ever act like real human beings. I enjoyed this one because I like mysterious sea creature movies even if they are mostly bad like Leviathan and Deep Star Six.

I also attempted to go through the Hellraiser series but I stopped after the fourth one. Pinhead looks cool but by the third film he spends a lot of time standing around spouting edgelord shit and turning hapless losers into increasingly stupid looking Cenobites. I did like the history lesson about the Lament Configuration that you get with the fourth film, but the present day parts were dull.
 
Jerri's Kid said:
I saw a few horror films over the past few weeks.

Spring is a man-meets-monster horror story, and though I found the biological explanation for the monster a bit sketchy I thought the romance was well done.

Sea Fever is basically Cabin Fever on a ship with vastly better characters. Sometimes I wonder if Eli Roth is one of those lizard people you read about in conspiracy theories because none of his characters ever act like real human beings. I enjoyed this one because I like mysterious sea creature movies even if they are mostly bad like Leviathan and Deep Star Six.

I also attempted to go through the Hellraiser series but I stopped after the fourth one. Pinhead looks cool but by the third film he spends a lot of time standing around spouting edgelord shit and turning hapless losers into increasingly stupid looking Cenobites. I did like the history lesson about the Lament Configuration that you get with the fourth film, but the present day parts were dull.
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Try and watch the 5th Hellraiser flick Inferno. You can stop there, honestly. I'll put Sea Fever on the list because I hate the original but Cabin Fever 2 and 3 I thought were pretty fun.
 
Syaoran Li said:
:story:
A film adaptation of Twilight exists, as does the BloodRayne movie.

Your argument is invalid.

Shitposting aside, as much as I like the 1992 Dracula, it's very much a "love it or hate it" movie nowadays.

Part of why it's so unusual is because Coppola was trying to create a Dracula movie that was more faithful to the book while also trying to be like a hammy Victorian stage show. Initially Coppola wanted to have it be a literal stage play on film.

While the movie's not 100% faithful to Stoker's novel, it's the closest any Hollywood production has ever gotten. Most of the deviations from the book come from what Coppola added in as opposed to what was taken out.

When you realize that Coppola wanted the movie to feel like a very overwrought melodramatic play from the Victorian era, a lot of the more peculiar elements of the movie make a lot more sense.

Except for Keanu Reeves's terrible attempt at a British accent. That's something I still don't seem to understand outside of the fact Keanu smoked a lot of weed back in the 90's.

IIRC, Keanu Reeves as Harker was more of a studio executive choice than Coppola's first pick. Feel free to correct me if I am wrong.

With all that being said, Near Dark and The Lost Boys will always be the two best vampire movies of all time in my book.
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I vaguely remember that Coppola Dracula included a bunch of stuff from the book that isn't usually in the movies, but the additions were so at odds with the book it's kind of a wash at best. Dracula dindu nuffin, muh reincarnated lovers. Yeah no thanks. I do love that this movie has an official novelization, titled "Bram Stoker's Dracula: A Francis Ford Coppola Film", despite not being written by Bram Stoker (obviously) and not being a film (obviously).

dracula.jpg

The Universal Dracula was based on a play rather than the book, and Coppola's is pretty far from that.
 
Watched another horror film with my folks yesterday.
Benny loves you is SUPER fucking weird but has to be one of my favorites now. It's about a guy named Jack who looses his parents, tries to start life over again, throws out his stuffed animals, and low and behold his child hood toy Benny comes alive.

We've been saying "Ta-da~!" for a whole day and making jokes about the stuffed animals in the house coming alive after being neglected. I think it's more of a horror comedy than anything but it was really good tbh.
 
KaibaCorp ToeSucker said:
Watched another horror film with my folks yesterday.
Benny loves you is SUPER fucking weird but has to be one of my favorites now. It's about a guy named Jack who looses his parents, tries to start life over again, throws out his stuffed animals, and low and behold his child hood toy Benny comes alive.

We've been saying "Ta-da~!" for a whole day and making jokes about the stuffed animals in the house coming alive after being neglected. I think it's more of a horror comedy than anything but it was really good tbh.
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I really liked it! If I remember it right, the lead actor also produced and directed it too.
I've got a soft spot for those indie horror movies, with zero budget, and a weird idea.

One of the great things about horror, in contrast to other genres, is that you can throw out almost any idea out there.
Almost any idea is fair game.
youtu.be

BLOOD CAR Official Trailer

The official YouTube channel for Kino Lorber, a film distribution company based in New York City and specialized in classic, independent and foreign cinema.
youtu.be youtu.be
 
GLUE SNIFFER 9000 said:
One of the great things about horror, in contrast to other genres, is that you can throw out almost any idea out there.
Almost any idea is fair game.
youtu.be

BLOOD CAR Official Trailer

The official YouTube channel for Kino Lorber, a film distribution company based in New York City and specialized in classic, independent and foreign cinema.
youtu.be youtu.be
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I'm lucky enough to have an autographed copy of Death Bed.
 
GLUE SNIFFER 9000 said:
I really liked it! If I remember it right, the lead actor also produced and directed it too.
I've got a soft spot for those indie horror movies, with zero budget, and a weird idea.

One of the great things about horror, in contrast to other genres, is that you can throw out almost any idea out there.
Almost any idea is fair game.
youtu.be

BLOOD CAR Official Trailer

The official YouTube channel for Kino Lorber, a film distribution company based in New York City and specialized in classic, independent and foreign cinema.
youtu.be youtu.be
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Yea he did! If I had more money i'd actually buy the official plush for my fam for the holidays tbh.

Tubi has a ton of those weird idea movies, or at least any time we surf tubi we have shit like that. I haven't checked netflix in ages for anything horror since at least tubi has something interesting like those scary short compilations.

Speaking of horror comedies, scouts guide to the zombie apocalypses is another goodie I never see get talked about. Where else are you going to see a guy grab a zombie dude's dick thru a window and rip it while they're on a trampoline?
 
There's a Texas Chainsaw Massacre video game coming.

From Gun, which put out the Friday the 13th game.

I hope Gun learned from their mistakes, because Friday the 13th was a fun game, but also frequently unplayable due to their incompetence.

 
Gaear Grimsrud said:
I hope Gun learned from their mistakes, because Friday the 13th was a fun game, but also frequently unplayable due to their incompetence.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=wAyQw3GT5GI
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I guarantee you they did not. A lot of the same mistakes were repeated in their Predator: Hunting Grounds game. The only hope I have is that there's a co-developer attached who might salvage it and actually learn from the many mistakes Gun keeps repeating,

NB4 Epic Gay Store exclusivity.
 
frozenrunner said:
I always saw that spaceship as almost an act of desperation. It was pretty small, it was made of junk "Blair" found, and it put me in mind of a lifeboat. But the point, of course, was that if it worked at all, the alien could possibly escape from the Antarctic, if not the Earth itself.

You're right: perfect movie.
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Peter Watts wrote a short story, from the perspective of the Thing. The Things It is far from perfect, but pretty cool.
 
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