/horror/ general megathread - Let's talk about movies and shit.

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Is it a horror movie? Questionable. Is it horrifying? certainly.

Hannibal Lector in the movie Hannibl Rising is a huge neckbeard. He's a teenage weeboo virgin with a samurai sword who kills people for disrespecting m'lady, and all of his dialogue sounds autistic.
 
If there was anyone left thinking that Halloween Ends was going to finish the trilogy in a way that wasn't retarded and absolute shit, abandon all fucking hope

screenshot-2021-10-22-at-16-15-29-halloween-kills-wikipedia-png.2648927


I hope the gore is decent at least.
 
I've recently developed a dumb theory concerning Friday The 13ths V and VI:

So then, Roy the paramedic, he impersonates Jason and everyone is pissed. In effect, his role falls more along the line of Pamela Voorhees: grief-strickened parent taking revenge out on anyone in vicinity of their son's death. Going by this reasoning, this would make Roy's fat douche son Joey the next Jason.

And so Joey did return. There are technically two Jasons in Part VI, one played by Dan Bradley, the other played by C.J. Graham. Joey is the one played by Bradley, the one affectionately referred to by fans as "Bitch-Tits Jason".
 
Body Count AKA Camping Del Terror. The mid-late 80's onwards was not a good time for Ruggero Deodato and he tries his hand at the great American slasher film with this entry. I want to say that I've seen it before but I can only briefly remember the opening scene and that David Hess is barely in it so I don't consider this to be a re-watch. The gore is very average and light on sleaze and nudity. It's a very average slasher with nothing of note except for the casting of David Hess. The mask on the killer is okay. But it's kind of cozy in it's averageness. Making for decent background noise if you enjoy slashers set in the woods. It's still better than absolute bottom of the barrel garbage like Evil Laugh or Memorial Valley Massacre AKA Son of Sleepaway Camp.
It isn't very good, and the kills are incredibly tame for that era, but I was still entertained by it. Having a banger of a main theme from Claudio Simonetti helps it a bit, too.
 
It isn't very good, and the kills are incredibly tame for that era, but I was still entertained by it. Having a banger of a main theme from Claudio Simonetti helps it a bit, too.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=XO7niEQ3Lgw
The twist was pretty fun in a nonsensical way.

lmao Mike's idea for how to make Halloween Kills better was basically just to remake Halloween 2

https://youtube.com/watch?v=K71JAJMWeco:1138
He's not wrong though, sister shit aside

I just noticed in the thumbnail that the image of Myers is taken from a toy.


I hope someone got fired for that blunder.
 
Horror in the High Desert (2021), found while digging through Tubi, I thought it was a low-key, very solid and effective example of faux-doc horror, a true-crime show style examination of the aftermath of a avid outdoorsman's disappearance, with decent mystery and unease building to a final act that goes fully found-footage.

 
I watched Lake Mungo. Genuinely one of the best movies I've ever seen but..
Fuck.
It's like requiem for a dream. You watch it once and just... think.
 
I found his image, guess he doesn't like it will deal with covid-19
View attachment 2654064
I heard about how Halloween Ends was originally ment to take place on the same night as the other two movies and that it was change to four years later because of Covid. I didn't realized they were actually going to address Covid-19 in the movie?

I'm sure it won't take up the whole movie. Probably will be jab or two at Trump and vaccine critics because Hollywood. But I'm sure it won't take up too much of the movie hopefully. But who's know. For all I know they could go full leftie rant?

Also who knows maybe at that point people become sick and tired of covid and the writers take it out (of course I know unlikely, but you never know).
 
I heard about how Halloween Ends was originally ment to take place on the same night as the other two movies and that it was change to four years later because of Covid. I didn't realized they were actually going to address Covid-19 in the movie?

I'm sure it won't take up the whole movie. Probably will be jab or two at Trump and vaccine critics because Hollywood. But I'm sure it won't take up too much of the movie hopefully. But who's know. For all I know they could go full leftie rant?

Also who knows maybe at that point people become sick and tired of covid and the writers take it out (of course I know unlikely, but you never know).
Unfortunately we're talking about the same production house responsible for the recent Black Christmas remake, the mediocrity that is Jordan Peele's wokeiverse, and thinks shitting out annual installments of oppression porn where the antagonists are dominionist neocon stereotypes that haven't been relevant in twenty fucking years is cutting edge social commentary. I think a sick part of me wants to see if anybody can actually shit the Halloween bed harder than the Weinsteins. Can you imagine the shitshow if the stunted wake and bakes that brought you "Evil dies tonight" accidentally turn "Black Lives Matter" into the next "Trick or treat, motherfucker"?
 
Unfortunately we're talking about the same production house responsible for the recent Black Christmas remake, the mediocrity that is Jordan Peele's wokeiverse, and thinks shitting out annual installments of oppression porn where the antagonists are dominionist neocon stereotypes that haven't been relevant in twenty fucking years is cutting edge social commentary. I think a sick part of me wants to see if anybody can actually shit the Halloween bed harder than the Weinsteins. Can you imagine the shitshow if the stunted wake and bakes that brought you "Evil dies tonight" accidentally turn "Black Lives Matter" into the next "Trick or treat, motherfucker"?
Yeah I know that's why I added the unlikely part. Also I mean if we do get a Trump or covid reference I would love it to become a "Trick or Treat, motherfucker" type quote that everyone makes fun of.
 
A few coworkers convinced me to try the Halloween event in Cold War and learning that Ghostface is a playable character as well as being voiced by Roger L Jackson was absolutely a treat. Worth the buy. All his dialogue is great.
 
I didn't even know there was a remake.



I saw the first Sorority House Massacre last week. It was worth it alone for the 80s wardrobe. There's even a scene where they try on a vacationing roommate's wardrobe then proceed to eat all her ice cream.

It has that typical "Somebody warns everyone how dangerous this mental patient is but no one tries to stop him until it's too late" thing going on. It was like Halloween but with a psychic connection. Plus the dream kids reminded me of the ones in Elm Street.

That one guy seemed totally unfazed that his girlfriend just got hacked up in a teepee.
fwiw, Sorority House Massacre 2 & 3 are totally unconnected to the original (and to each other). Confusingly, they both borrow footage of the killer from Slumber Party [sic] Massacre 1 for flashbacks, but change its meaning.

Anyway, I'd say SHM2 is also worth it for the wardrobe alone.

sorority-house-massacre-21.jpg

Yesterday I watched the Slumber Party Massacre remake.

It's not that good, but what do you expect?

View attachment 2642835
I've learned about this and subsequently forgotten about it like three or four times now. File it under "Fucking Why".

Although I did catch up and watch the remake of I Spit on Your Grave rather recently (and its two sequels), which is another one I figured they just wouldn't have the balls to do right. It was much better than I expected, despite certain concessions. ofc even that's rather old now and probably wouldn't pass inspection today.
 
Before I review yesterday's movie, let's go with the two days before that:

Return to Nuke 'Em High Vol 1 and Return to Return to Nuke 'Em High AKA Vol 2

Lloyd Kaufman is a national treasure. Troma Film is a national treasure. In a world of wokeness, real tits from d-list z-movie actresses, giant dicks, murdering tranny jokes, duck rape and mutant cripples masturbating to duck rape is exactly what we all need. 5/5

I heard about how Halloween Ends was originally ment to take place on the same night as the other two movies and that it was change to four years later because of Covid. I didn't realized they were actually going to address Covid-19 in the movie?

I'm sure it won't take up the whole movie. Probably will be jab or two at Trump and vaccine critics because Hollywood. But I'm sure it won't take up too much of the movie hopefully. But who's know. For all I know they could go full leftie rant?

Also who knows maybe at that point people become sick and tired of covid and the writers take it out (of course I know unlikely, but you never know).

They called Halloween Kills a 'masterpiece', said that it channelled BLM's rage before it even happened, etc... They are so up into their own assholes, and now they are going to make a movie which addresses fucking covid in a Michael Myers universe? They decided to scrap their plan and instead of making it one long night, no it has to be 4 hours later, deal with grief and sadness and be a coming of age movie that addresses the pandemic?

It's gonna be so fucking retarded I can't imagine a single way that it's not gonna be at least as terrible as Halloween Resurrection.
 
They called Halloween Kills a 'masterpiece', said that it channelled BLM's rage before it even happened, etc... They are so up into their own assholes, and now they are going to make a movie which addresses fucking covid in a Michael Myers universe? They decided to scrap their plan and instead of making it one long night, no it has to be 4 hours later, deal with grief and sadness and be a coming of age movie that addresses the pandemic?

It's gonna be so fucking exceptional I can't imagine a single way that it's not gonna be at least as terrible as Halloween Resurrection.
did kills really have an blm imagrey though? aside that one scene with the protestors that from what ive heard wasn't even racially motivated but rather civil disobedicance at the Haddonfield police for being inept at stopping Michael?
 
They called Halloween Kills a 'masterpiece', said that it channelled BLM's rage before it even happened, etc... They are so up into their own assholes, and now they are going to make a movie which addresses fucking covid in a Michael Myers universe? They decided to scrap their plan and instead of making it one long night, no it has to be 4 hours later, deal with grief and sadness and be a coming of age movie that addresses the pandemic?

It's gonna be so fucking exceptional I can't imagine a single way that it's not gonna be at least as terrible as Halloween Resurrection.

did kills really have an blm imagrey though? aside that one scene with the protestors that from what ive heard wasn't even racially motivated but rather civil disobedicance at the Haddonfield police for being inept at stopping Michael?
Yeah I don't understand that either. Since the mob in the movie had nothing to do with racially stuff and were mad that the cops weren't doing enough to stop Michael

.
Also the mob doesn't do shit but lead to the death of that one mental patient who for some reason the residents thought was Michael even through Michael's a fucking giant! And had his face showing on the news previously. The final mob scene doesn't do shit either as Michael slaughters them in the end. Also agin there's no racially context to it either. So I don't know how that's a BLM allegory? At least not for it. The message I got was rage mobs suck!!!!!
 
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