Well, I got to watch it (through "not giving a dime" methods) and yep, this is a rollercoaster. We had a good build up and then when you think its gonna go somewhere, we have a drastic fucking drop.
I'll start off by saying that this really feels like a "Not even the creator does it right anymore" situation because there is really no excuse for this not working. Boyle is a hack and the fact that he unironically said this movie was inspired by Brexit and that the fucking ending with the
Clockwork Orange looking power ranger fighting mfs was the best work he read since the actual Clockwork Orange further confirms to me he is, indeed, a heck.
I do not want to hear anyone complaining about 28 Weeks anymore because I'd much rather have more of that than what we got here. Oh speaking about it, this sequel disregards Weeks to the point you'd be forgiven to think it had been confirmed non-canon but Danny boy did address the concerning ending of Weeks in an interview...tho it was extremely dismissive and he just gives a vague "Paris got nuked" answer. Its clear he cant declare it non canon but it might as well be that way for him. And hell, if you want to be pedantic and only consider Days into this, even then Years is retconning shit because that movie ended with the confirmation the rage infected are dying off from lack of food (realistically they'd have dropped dead earlier from dehydration but I digress). But now we got infected "classes" and the only explanation is also a dismissive "the virus evolved and now acts like a steroid that affects infected differently overtime". We literally now have a fat zombie type that crawls around and live off worms (some-fucking-how) and an alpha type straight out of Army of the Dead (literally the same thing and you cant convince me otherwise). And that just makes the lack of connection with Weeks a whole more jarring because THAT entry explains the virus evolved through unique circunstances but I guess we are suppose to assume it just naturally did that over time? Would Don become an alpha had he lived?
Who knows, and you know the ones behind this do not care.
oh and FYI, ironically the naked zombies indirectly expose an issue beyond that of feeding and drinking (just going to assume that the infected only eat and drink pristine clean ass foods without diseases or that they have an immunity system of a shark now somehow), its the fact that hypothermia is a thing. British winters should have killed off most of them not actively hiding inside caves and houses and we got not evidence they had any sort of protection against the elements.
Just living off that yummy rage virus steroids I guess
And now we get to an interesting point, why the outside world didnt try to retake Britain? Even if we do take the events of Weeks as canon, it doesnt change that most of the events in THAT movie were a result more of incompetence from military most the most part and even then, the army didnt just call it quits and left the moment things got out of control as they were gassing and bombing the shit out of the streets. If apparently they nuked Paris, then why not Britain which was the source of the virus? It gets even sillier if we DONT consider the events of Weeks as canon because it really the outside world hasnt tried dick beyond just quarantining UK and doing fuck all for over 28 years. In either case, feels like keeping the island isolated for 28 years was a more "symbolic" gesture rather than a logical one...and it was, Boyd literally said this was a Brexit analogy. So logic be damned as long as he gets his message across.
He is a hack if you couldnt tell.
Oh yeah, Infected Baby (thats not infected apparently). Thats a thing. I can buy that maybe the baby is born uninfected, fine, but childbirth is messy and bloody and you telling me not a single drop of blood got inside that baby? Alright then, then the baby is immune? Or at least a carrier like in Weeks. See how we keep coming back to Weeks? Anyway, the boy had no idea if she wont turn later on or if she cant infect others even if she doesnt manifest symptons herself, being a carrier and all. For all we know, he unintentionally doomed the whole town.
Which leads to our characters and talk about going somewhere completely different. You'd think this was going to be 28 Days Later meets TLoU and Act 1 was pretty much that but then the plot just switches completely towards something else and has a dumb ass kid who could barely handle himself without his dad now escorting his mentally affected mom through a land full of screaming naked bloody freaks without trouble. The father just kind of disappears from the narrative until the very end. And the doctor character isnt bad but there is just so many unanswered questions about him that it gives you the feeling that you arent suppose to ask that many and just go along with it. Also the mother just suddenly dies and the whole thing has an intense tonal whiplash. We also get these soldier characters that really feel like that they were added to increase the body count and to show off the infected attacking soldiers and "oh look how dangerous the alpha is" and shit. Erik is the only one we get to know and he did come off as an interesting character...until the narrative decided it had enough of him and just had him have a very very sudden and cheap death. So these characters were pointless, outside of reafirming that the outside world is just fine and ok with the UK being a no go zone now (its just like real life).
And then we have the ending and that ending makes me wonder how could anyone think this was a good idea. The kid basically decides to live on his own and when he understandably is about to get the chop, he gets saved by these Jimmy Saville looking colorful Clockwork Orange mfs that fight the infected up close with melee weapons and combat moves. Its implied they're a cult (of course one leaning towards Christianity imagery, stay classy modern entertainment) and that their leader "Jimmy" (not Jim, Murphy is nowhere in this movie, they blue balled veterans and then said that NOW he will be in the sequel, we promise) is the kid from the opening (one that seems to almost be trying to replicate Week's but hey, I wouldnt dare to suggest Boyle was jelly or anything).
Some mf wrote this, some other mf (boyle) read it and found it genius.
How these mfs survived this long? WHO CARES! The writers dont so neither should you, nvm you waited nearly 2 decades for this sequel. And the marketing had a stroke of luck by producing something that legit looked competent, tricking suckers.
Well, the trailer for the new one is out and you bet I'll still not give my money.
