/horror/ general megathread - Let's talk about movies and shit.

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Full Moon is promoting their latest masterpiece with YouTube comments about the trailer.

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In spite of everything, it hurts to see them like this.
 
Full Moon is promoting their latest masterpiece with YouTube comments about the trailer.

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In spite of everything, it hurts to see them like this.
Self-aware "bad" movies made by people trying to recreate the more authentic "bad movie that's actually compelling to watch because it was made by delusional people who thought they were truly making a great film" experience are among the lowest tier of really bad movies. And it's not just the latest attempts at being the next Sharknado or Cocaine Bear that bug me, I hate movies made by people that deliberately aim for "camp" or "So bad it's good" status from the get go, deliberately made to be "bad" because they want to make the next "Plan 9" or "The Room" out of purely mercenary motives or because they're hacks who think constantly winking at the audience makes for good film. A movie becoming a true "cult" film is a more organic process that people who make films with titles like "Cocaine Bobcat" or "Zombie Octopus Exorcist" try to brute-force and it's just no good.

In decades past there have been plenty of movies whose makers truly conspired for cult status from the get-go, most often phony excursions into weirdness and/or just bad amateur movies whose makers were attempting to get them free passes as cult flicks.
 
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I don't think Cocaine Bear really fits into that trend. Definitely didn't get "so bad it's good" vibes and unlike Sharknado et al, the CGI isn't total dogshit.
 
To discuss a good movie, browsing Tubi led me to find that Dark Waters is on the site. An Englishwoman travels to a remote island after she discovers her late father had made several payments to the local convent and figures out something sinister is going on with these nuns (if only she'd listened to how ominous the soundtrack sounded, she might have figured it out sooner.)

 
The rape tree is an underused plot element. Loads of movies would be improved by having rape trees.

Empire Strikes Back - Instead of the cave fight with Vader, imagine how much better it would be if Luke had to fight off a Rape Tree.
Predator - Arnold wrestling a rape tree to save the Asian woman.
Indiana Jones - Instead of a boring Indian tribe, picture Indiana running from a whole bunch of rape trees
Annihilation - Having the scare bear AND rape trees would improve this movie immeasurably. Who wouldn't want to see Natalie Portman raped by a tree?
Star Trek III - Scenes on the Genesis Planet were very boring. Would be much improved by rape trees.

All the stupid female reboot movies would be improved by rape trees. I could go on and on.
Or rape aliens. That's untapped potential.

You'd think there'd be a lot of those but there's only 2 franchises with anything remotely resembling a budget unless you count aliens.

Species and the Canadian hand me down decoys. Problem is they are not really scary for the most part.

Species may be the most fucked up fetish movie series ever made, but they don't really lean enough into the psychological aspects of it. The first 3 don't explore how horrific it would be to be a decent human being suddenly affected with what amounts to an alien STD and the lifespan of a lemming. 1 is just a sex slasher movie, 2 dabbles in it, but is overcome by the gory tits spectacle of it all and 3 is just stupid. Frankly the novel adaptations (by yvonne navarro ) Did a much better job of drilling in how horrific it all was and had much tighter writing.

4 is the only film that approached the horror in an interesting way, with what amounts to an ex mad scientist becoming a father and raising a good half alien chick. Unfortunately her biology kicks in and turns her into a uncontrollable monster while also slowly killing her.

She wants to die, dad can't let that happen, so he goes off to Mexico to meet his scientist buddy Malcom reed from star trek enterprise. He's a complete scumbag that rents out his genetic lab to sell clones of people's pets and repeatedly clone a couple of sterile half breed workers/ sex slaves. Shit goes Frankenstein and you see a good man fall apart as his love enables evil.

Decoys is about a couple college dudes getting catfished by technically male aliens who need to shove their eggs down their throat.... It's stupid.

I Think it would be interesting if they brought something like species back as some kind of super solider serum gone wrong. Like maybe draw from the real life stuff about flying men in the Philippines abducting woman and go nuts with it.

One of the more interesting aspects never touched upon was the idea this DNA strand or whatever was handed out by aliens to evolve and help humanity. That was a real throwaway line but you could make something thoughtful and horrifying if aliens genuinely tried to adapt us to a way of life we are not suited for or comfortable with. Also there's the possibility that other governments even less tact then America gets there's hands on the DNA and starts playing God.

I think you could make something genuine and terrifying if you played around with it.
 
Self-aware "bad" movies made by people trying to recreate the more authentic "bad movie that's actually compelling to watch because it was made by delusional people who thought they were truly making a great film" experience are among the lowest tier of really bad movies. And it's not just the latest attempts at being the next Sharknado or Cocaine Bear that bug me, I hate movies made by people that deliberately aim for "camp" or "So bad it's good" status from the get go, deliberately made to be "bad" because they want to make the next "Plan 9" or "The Room" out of purely mercenary motives or because they're hacks who think constantly winking at the audience makes for good film. A movie becoming a true "cult" film is a more organic process that people who make films with titles like "Cocaine Bobcat" or "Zombie Octopus Exorcist" try to brute-force and it's just no good.
First time I remember seeing this happen in real time was Snakes on a Plane, and what's sad is that you had movies that tried to rip that off. So bad it's good needs heart and passion behind it to get that good status. That's why I love Ed Wood, even if he was a crossdressing faggot, he had passion in his work.
 
Because everytime they come out the aliens get pissed off and they choke and stab people with em.

There's only like one time they come out in 2 stereotypically.
And you know this by consulting the Species Technical Manual or something?
 
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