/horror/ general megathread - Let's talk about movies and shit.

[White Devil]

Couldn't sleep after I got home so the wife and I watched the first Howling. I haven't seen it in forever but I don't remember it being paced so boringly. Make up and effects still hold up though.

 

[BrunoMattei]

Couldn't sleep after I got home so the wife and I watched the first Howling. I haven't seen it in forever but I don't remember it being paced so boringly. Make up and effects still hold up though.

I'm weird in that I watched all of the sequels and not the original until more recently. It's an okay werewolf movie but I don't think the bladder effects held up as well (and they were parodied in Howling 3: the Marsupials) and overall -for me- it just makes me want to watch American Werewolf in London.

Howling 2 > Howling 1. I'll die on this hill. I'll take Sybil Danning titties and Christopher Lee in 80's sunglasses any day.

 

[White Devil]

Howling 2 > Howling 1. I'll die on this hill. I'll take Sybil Danning titties and Christopher Lee in 80's sunglasses any day.

I'm not arguing with you on that. We chose the first one because she hasn't seen it and I don't think I've watched it since the 90s or early 00s.

 

[BrunoMattei]

I'm going to sperg about the Evil Dead trilogy for a moment:

Everyone has a favorite and mine is the 1st. I like how the 1st film takes everything mostly very seriously, the gore is top notch and brutal, everything aside from some of the acting and effect shots hold up really well. It's a rough around the edges kind of masterpiece.

Then you get to part 2. I love part 2. But there's little things about it that never sat well with me and if I could George Lucas it and/or use highly sophisticated A.I. (in CURRENT YEAR) to "modify" it no matter how blasphemous that might be then this is what I would do:

I would leave the opening alone. A lot of people are hung up over the fact that the first 10 minutes is basically a remake of the 1st movie. The reason why it turned out that way is that either Raimi and Co. couldn't get the rights to the 1st movie or it would cost too much and the actors from the 1st movie all went on to do other things and it was impossible to round them up. I assume money also played a factor in the later. I would largely leave that alone because I like the bits with the girlfriend and the dancing corpse and the subversion of where the chainsaw is. Only thing I would do is during the mirror sequence maybe pause for a few seconds and as Ash stares into the mirror we see footage of his friends from the 1st movie and then you do an extreme closeup on Bruce going "Hey, waitasecond?!" Boom. All you need to do. You could make the argument that the book is fucking with him or maybe he's in an alternate universe? I dunno.

Change all the blood to red instead of black and green.

Show the aftermath of that dude who got possessed and Ash dismembers him with an ax (again, remove all the green blood).

Actually show Bobby Joe getting wishboned by the trees.

Otherwise that's it. Part 2 is still great and I enjoy it but those changes made always struck me as off and not being truthful to the tone of the 1st movie.

Army of Darkness is a whole other thing and yeah I don't like the fact that there's no gore aside from the pit scene. Yeah, you could use high-end l33t hacker technology to add gore to the movie but aside from CGI bloodspatter effects I don't think there's much you could do with it. It was envisioned as a PG-13 oldschool adventure movie and the MPAA had a hate-boner for Raimi and refused to give him a PG-13. It's as simple as that.

 

[feral cat #6385]

Everyone has a favorite and mine is the 1st. I like how the 1st film takes everything mostly very seriously, the gore is top notch and brutal, everything aside from some of the acting and effect shots hold up really well. It's a rough around the edges kind of masterpiece.

It's a fine film but I like it the most for the Bruce Campbell commentary. Very comfy.

I would leave the opening alone. A lot of people are hung up over the fact that the first 10 minutes is basically a remake of the 1st movie. The reason why it turned out that way is that either Raimi and Co. couldn't get the rights to the 1st movie or it would cost too much and the actors from the 1st movie all went on to do other things and it was impossible to round them up. I assume money also played a factor in the later. I would largely leave that alone because I like the bits with the girlfriend and the dancing corpse and the subversion of where the chainsaw is. Only thing I would do is during the mirror sequence maybe pause for a few seconds and as Ash stares into the mirror we see footage of his friends from the 1st movie and then you do an extreme closeup on Bruce going "Hey, waitasecond?!" Boom. All you need to do. You could make the argument that the book is fucking with him or maybe he's in an alternate universe? I dunno.

People overthink the open of Evil Dead 2. Ash just happened to bring another girlfriend to the cabin coincidentally also named Linda like his first girlfriend. Ash just kinda forgot about the Evil book. Simple as.

Show the aftermath of that dude who got possessed and Ash dismembers him with an ax (again, remove all the green blood).

They had filmed some of that but cut it.

Army of Darkness is a whole other thing and yeah I don't like the fact that there's no gore aside from the pit scene. Yeah, you could use high-end l33t hacker technology to add gore to the movie but aside from CGI bloodspatter effects I don't think there's much you could do with it. It was envisioned as a PG-13 oldschool adventure movie and the MPAA had a hate-boner for Raimi and refused to give him a PG-13. It's as simple as that.

Army of Darkness isn't meant to be a gory horror movie. It's more of a slapstick comedy that just happens to have demons in it. Adding gore would just clash with the tone of the film.

 

[SnurgleDirge]

Everyone has a favorite and mine is the 1st. I like how the 1st film takes everything mostly very seriously, the gore is top notch and brutal, everything aside from some of the acting and effect shots hold up really well. It's a rough around the edges kind of masterpiece.

It amazes me what Raimi and crew were able to accomplish on the budget they had and have it still to this day hold up as the best example of a horror comedy. I mean a real horror comedy as well where the scary bits are scary and the funny bits are funny. Most other horror comedies skew in one direction or the other but very very rarely do they hit the way this film does.

I would leave the opening alone. A lot of people are hung up over the fact that the first 10 minutes is basically a remake of the 1st movie. The reason why it turned out that way is that either Raimi and Co. couldn't get the rights to the 1st movie or it would cost too much and the actors from the 1st movie all went on to do other things and it was impossible to round them up. I assume money also played a factor in the later. I would largely leave that alone because I like the bits with the girlfriend and the dancing corpse and the subversion of where the chainsaw is. Only thing I would do is during the mirror sequence maybe pause for a few seconds and as Ash stares into the mirror we see footage of his friends from the 1st movie and then you do an extreme closeup on Bruce going "Hey, waitasecond?!" Boom. All you need to do. You could make the argument that the book is fucking with him or maybe he's in an alternate universe? I dunno.

I wouldn't be opposed to this idea, I'm sure everyone and their mom has wanted to re-edit or stitch together the first and second movie so that they're one piece. I think Campbell has said you just have to remove the prologue of the second movie and then combine the first and second films and you get the full picture. I bet there's a fan edit out there somewhere that does just that.

Actually show Bobby Joe getting wishboned by the trees.

I can't say for sure but I bet the backlash Raimi got over the tree rape scene had something to do with the wishboning not making it into the picture.

Spoiler: sperging about rape tree

I don't understand why some people treat that scene as though it were an affront to humanity, it's a horror film people you're probably not gonna see things that make you feel good.

 

[TVB]

Howling 2 > Howling 1. I'll die on this hill. I'll take Sybil Danning titties and Christopher Lee in 80's sunglasses any day.

You're not wrong. Howling 2 was badass, and is still my favorite entry in the Howling franchise

 

[BrunoMattei]

They had filmed some of that but cut it.

Yes, I'm already very aware. Including the Mexican TV cut of Evil Dead 2 which has nothing really of note but has some extended scenes.

 

[The Nothingness]

I would leave the opening alone. A lot of people are hung up over the fact that the first 10 minutes is basically a remake of the 1st movie. The reason why it turned out that way is that either Raimi and Co. couldn't get the rights to the 1st movie or it would cost too much and the actors from the 1st movie all went on to do other things and it was impossible to round them up. I assume money also played a factor in the later. I would largely leave that alone because I like the bits with the girlfriend and the dancing corpse and the subversion of where the chainsaw is. Only thing I would do is during the mirror sequence maybe pause for a few seconds and as Ash stares into the mirror we see footage of his friends from the 1st movie and then you do an extreme closeup on Bruce going "Hey, waitasecond?!" Boom. All you need to do. You could make the argument that the book is fucking with him or maybe he's in an alternate universe? I dunno.

Personally, the only reason I don't consider Evil Dead 2 as a sequel is the ending of the first one. It gives the horror ending that has become a trope where the remaining character seems to have survived but the killer/monster/whatever catches them from behind and the cuts to black. From how Evil Dead 1 ended, you would conclude that Ash did not live and it wouldn't make sense to have Part 2 as continuation otherwise you be confused by how Ash escaped.

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

I'm going to sperg about the Evil Dead trilogy for a moment:

Evil Dead is the perfect arc for a Horror Franchise.

The problem with Horror Franchises is that..a large amount of Horror comes from the Unknown. After the first two movies..the Badguy has become known, and if you have a main character who has been through this shit before..so shit isn't going to be as scary. Tilting things..more towards the actiony side allows you to have the Horror moments while..allowing shit to actually advance.

This is kind of an issue I had with Hellraiser, I saw the first two and shit kind of went nowhere

 

[BrunoMattei]

This is kind of an issue I had with Hellraiser, I saw the first two and shit kind of went nowhere

I think Hellraiser could have been redeemed if part 4 (Bloodline) wasn't so bad. You could blame that failure on the Weinstein's and the director though. But exploring the origins of the puzzle box, the cenobites, Hell, everything else, would have been a really interesting movie.

 

[TV's Adam West]

I think Hellraiser could have been redeemed if part 4 (Bloodline) wasn't so bad. You could blame that failure on the Weinstein's and the director though. But exploring the origins of the puzzle box, the cenobites, Hell, everything else, would have been a really interesting movie.

The irony is that a franchise about fucked up sexual pleasures is the one thing I WOULD trust the Jews with!

 

[Tor Lugosi]

I watched the first 8 Saw movies over the last couple of nights.

Spoiler: dumb saw sperging

- Saw I & III (the DC, at least, as that's the only version I've seen) are the best of the franchise. They feel like actual movies with plots rather than torture porn with nonsensical, uninteresting drama stapled to it.

- II & IV are probably the worst of the original six. II's 'game' just devolves into a boring mess of characters wandering (and then running) around a house. IV was just stupid and introduced Hoffman (Jigsaw's successor), a blight on the series.

- Part 5 has probably my favorite game in it because it's actually logical and the victims could've survived had they just followed the rules. This is something that bothered me for a lot of the series: the vast majority of the games aren't survivable and don't follow John's principles. Even if you 'win' you at best are maimed for life and probably hate life even more than before the game and at worst you end up bleeding to death, plus there are games that just straight up kill people. Yeah, you can say John Kramer's just a crazed hypocrite but that's a copout. Sadly, the game is only like 20 minutes of part five and the rest of it is dumb drama involving Hoffman.

- VI is like the former entry but worse. Some decent parts for the game but a lot of shitty drama involving Hoffman and John Kramer's wife, Jill. Had the reverse bear trap killed Hoffman at the end it would've been an okay cap to the original six movies but that didn't happen.

- Part 7 / The Final Chapter / 3D is by far the worst film in the series. Boring game and a lot of shitty drama involving Hoffman and Jill yet again. Oh, and remember Dr. Lawrence Gordon, the protagonist of the first film? He survived and, surprise, he had been helping Jigsaw in the background after he survived his game.

- Part 8 / Jigsaw was... fine. It at least looks and feels like an actual film with some competency behind it. The game part isn't great and all the twists (events not being in chronological order, one of the characters being yet another protegee of Kramer's) were done to death and thus predictable.

- After the third film the series largely becomes this weird soap opera. 4 - 7 continue where the last one left off, feeling more like episodes than films. Most of the films' runtimes is devoted to Hoffman trying to outwit the authorities and dealing with Jill Kramer. You can tell they regret killing John Kramer (Jigsaw) off so early because a decent chunk of each film after his death is flashbacks to when he was alive. Apparently the upcoming 'X' film is a prequel that takes place between 1 & 2. 4 - 7 also start to look more and more like direct-to-video movies, appearing very cheap and looking like they couldn't even afford good lighting.

 

[Calandrino]

Personally, the only reason I don't consider Evil Dead 2 as a sequel is the ending of the first one. It gives the horror ending that has become a trope where the remaining character seems to have survived but the killer/monster/whatever catches them from behind and the cuts to black. From how Evil Dead 1 ended, you would conclude that Ash did not live and it wouldn't make sense to have Part 2 as continuation otherwise you be confused by how Ash escaped.

Ash died at the end of 1. 2 ended with him getting hailed as the chosen one, he probably never made it home. Both endings of AoD happened. Ash vs The Evil Dead did the right thing by not trying to sort everything out and explain it away with alternate universes or whatever. It's better to not care.

 

[BrunoMattei]

Not horror but I felt like talking about this flick. I was looking through movies I torrented and came across one I completely forgot I grabbed called Female Prisoner 701: Scorpion:

Japanese WIP (Women In Prison) movie from the glorious 70's. All the WIP tropes are there but it wildly diverges in terms of style and overall aesthetic exploitation beauty. It's very well shot. Very theatrical with a creative use of sets. It's the first WIP movie I can say objectively that it's good. The prison riot at the end was a nice touch that further separates this flick from the horde of cookie-cutter WIP flicks.

Great flick. Recommended. Now to watch the sequels.

 

[White Devil]

Not horror but I felt like talking about this flick. I was looking through movies I torrented and came across one I completely forgot I grabbed called Female Prisoner 701: Scorpion:

Japanese WIP (Women In Prison) movie from the glorious 70's. All the WIP tropes are there but it wildly diverges in terms of style and overall aesthetic exploitation beauty. It's very well shot. Very theatrical with a creative use of sets. It's the first WIP movie I can say objectively that it's good. The prison riot at the end was a nice touch that further separates this flick from the horde of cookie-cutter WIP flicks.

Great flick. Recommended. Now to watch the sequels.

Yes, that's all nice but how much lesbian sex and nudity is there?

 

[BrunoMattei]

Yes, that's all nice but how much lesbian sex and nudity is there?

A lot.

 

[Your Starter for 10]

OK I'm late to the party, but I saw Relic (2020) with Emily Mortimer and Bella Heathcote, and...well I don't want to say it sucked, but as a horror movie, it sucked. It reminded me a ton of Sea Fever which I also recently saw. It's like all the elements are there, but it just never adds up to anything worth watching. I'm pretty sure I know why now.

The atmosphere is done really well; the acting is pretty good (even the literal retard neighbor does a pretty good job, and is used sparingly) I mean it's Emily Mortimer and Bella Heathcote who are almost always great, and then a character actress who you'll vaguely recognize as the spooky old grandma; the plot/outline is fine, I guess. But...BUT, like it just never, ever clicks. I think the biggest problem is that the characters, despite being well played, are fucking retarded. They don't do what actual people would do.

Emily Mortimer is convinced to look under her mom's bed, because her mom says there's something under there, and Emily hears it; she looks under there, and there's clearly something moving around, maybe an animal, maybe worse, but then grandma wings a book at Emily (or some spooky other force does), hits her in the elbow, and the whole fucking subject is dropped and forgotten. OK, I get it, getting hit in the elbow hurts for a minute, BUT THERE'S STILL AT THE VERY LEAST A GIANT RAT, REGULAR RACCOON OR WORSE UNDER YOUR FEEBLE MOTHER'S BED. Nah, who gives a shit.

Later, Bella Heathcote wakes up in the wee hours because something it's fucking knocking heavily in the house. Everyone else is asleep (or gone, I can't remember if Emily is around for this part). It's the dryer, and not only is it running at 3:30 AM, but there's something fucking in there knocking around. Is it a shoe? Is it an animal? Is it a head? We'll never fucking know, because, you know, like a normal person, she just turns off the dryer and DOESN'T EVEN FUCKING CONSIDER LOOKING TO SEE WHAT THE FUCK IS IN IT. (We actually find out a minute later because something peeks out of the dryer while her back is turned, and then pulls the lid down...although we never actually find out why or what the fuck that is about).

So anyway, once the actual bad shit starts happening to them, they've been so retarded that you have zero sympathy for them, and are just sticking around to find out what the actual horror is. Which we never actually do. There's some kind of black mold that's taking over grandma, but then again, she was a total cunt that any normal person would've abandoned to her fate before that anyway. There's also like maybe a haunted stained glass window that was in great-grandpa's shed, so maybe it's him haunting via the black mold, but we never get any references to him being an asshole or whatever, so who the fuck knows. I assume the black mold is the patriarchy or some bullshit, just because. Although to be fair, for once, the men in the movie (all bit parts) are actually decent guys - you got the cop for one scene, when grandma is missing, who is pretty normal (actually better than normal since they try and act like he's prying into Emily's life, but then it turns out he's just asking because he's literally trying to help find grandma); you got the retard neighbor kid, and then his dad who won't let his kid go over there any more since grandma locked him in a closet for 8 hours; also he's the one that reported grandma missing in the first place. So I don't know, maybe it's not the patriarchy with such even-handed treatment of the males, maybe it's menstruation or motherhood or some bullshit.

So it's women directors. That's the problem. I mean MOST horror movies fucking suck, but the ones directed by women directors seem to be almost universally shit.

Even so, with a touch less retardation in the characters, and a more concrete/explanatory third act (I mean I'm fine with ambiguity, but fucking give me SOME clue) this could've been decent.

No gore, no tits, no scares. Good atmosphere and better than good acting. Utter shit writing. 2.0/5 don't bother with it unless you are a huge Emily Mortimer fan.

 

[BrunoMattei]

OK I'm late to the party, but I saw Relic (2020) with Emily Mortimer and Bella Heathcote, and...well I don't want to say it sucked, but as a horror movie, it sucked. It reminded me a ton of Sea Fever which I also recently saw. It's like all the elements are there, but it just never adds up to anything worth watching. I'm pretty sure I know why now.

I thought you were talking about the 90's flick which I've always hated but has a semi-following now for some reason.

 

[Your Starter for 10]

I thought you were talking about the 90's flick which I've always hated but has a semi-following now for some reason.

Oh, THE Relic, the paint-by-numbers action-horror. Yeah, if you want hilarity, compare the RT scores for them, then watch and see which you enjoy more. I mean the 90s one was one Penelope Ann Miller nude scene from being a 4.0/5 in my book. It does exactly what it says on the tin.