Started talking to myself at work. I mean, I've talked to myself since I can remember, I guess that's just how turned inward I am. But now I do it out loud with little regard for being seen doing that.
Maybe things will be fine. Like, I'm aware I'm already a bit of a laughingstock to my co-workers for being socially awkward as hell, and I know that talking to yourself out loud is very socially unacceptable. But it helps me handle my loneliness, makes it a bit easier for me to think, and lastly... I've always perceived myself as an outcast, a social misfit. I naturally gravitate towards and take interest in eccentric or odd people. I have no other way to express myself because I tend to stay completely quiet around others and not initiate conversations, so maybe showing how fucked in the head I am will turn the attention of some interesting freaks towards me and I could make some friends eventually.
That's probably a terrible idea, but I think I should give it a shot. It's not like I'm too concerned about my reputation, it just hurts and ruins what little confidence I have when I'm being made fun of, which I'm inevitably going to be. But once again, I'm already a minor lolcow, and I seem to be running low on damns to give.
EDIT: Nevermind lol, I went to job well-rested and well-fed today, and felt much more sane. I'm too melodramatic about things sometimes. Though I did raise a valid point: the loneliness isn't going away anytime soon, and restraining myself as to not look crazy has given me nothing. However, there are less obnoxious ways to announce my autism to the world, like wearing graphic tees of stuff I like, as a kind of social lubricant and maybe a conversation starter. That's a less terrible idea.