Hey guys, how has everyone been?

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Working nights at a costume warehouse for the halloween season. It's hella busy right now cause everyone is now remember halloween is next Friday. Monday was hella hectic and today almost matched it.
 
Just ran without breaks for a full 30 minutes at what I hope was a constant pace of 180 footfalls a minute. I only stopped because my timer went off. Was quite surprised to have lasted that long. Was breathing easily on the walk back home after that.

I've always been unhealthy, even after two years in the military, and I've never lasted that long before. I think it's a good sign.
 
I'm on the highest dose of my new meds, but am noticing weird changes. Most of the time I feel pretty good but I don't really want to be around anyone. At all. Or just one friend, who I feel the most comfortable with. I guess I'm still depressed but am numb to it with all the meds I take per day. Two 40 mg antidepressants, 4 anti-anxiety pills, 4 mood stabilizer pills.

Jesus.
 
Well I finished my first session in University, I did a presentation in front of the class and I did really well surprisingly. Just taking some time to recuperate now, as my next set of classes starts Monday. : /
 
many years ago i was a really unpleasant little shit who always had to bitch about everything. the extent to which i've chillaxed and shut up is astounding. you have no idea.

but i guess things come full circle and i went from bitchmeister to pretty chill to enjoying all of the stupid things, and now i guess i'm headed off into the crochety grouch phase. because my god is shit stupid. i've been reading lots of reddit stories about ridiculous people and occasionally reading the comments if the story was good, and my god is stupid shit stupid. all of it.

on a side note, in addition to wanting to be more spontaneous (alas, being forgetful hurts spontaneity. did you know that??), i've also wanted to be more open and raw. true to myself and not holding back. alas, that's a great way to get fired and make lots of enemies, especially in the age of

stupid shit and the people who take it incredibly seriously.

so, i really enjoy the simple life. i can be happy just eating cardboard and chugging generic black coffee and scribbling on "borrowed" printer paper while dicking around on a cheap laptop. "i like to keep it simple" is pretty much my catchphrase. it's how i live my life.

and due to being a slow, cold, distracted, forgetful zombie, i've learned to not care if people think i'm stupid, because i know for a fact they do. and oh well.

you know how the negative stereotype of old people (say, over 60) is, that one about how they refuse to learn, keep up with the times, or examine different viewpoints? for example, barb and bob's assumption that a "special school" was going to be like an old-fashioned institution, because they chose to assume rather than read up. i believe that's just a negative stereotype and one can prevent that from happening in one's life. but i feel it coming on in me. and i kinda don't care. i only care that i gotta cover my ass and not make enemies or piss anyone off.

so anyway, this comes around to me reading the convos on reddit about weight loss and t2 diabetes management and all that shit, and my eyes are rolling into the back of my head over all this inane bullshit. go ahead and jump on my ass about the latest studies probably funded by mcdonald's or someshit about how being fat is unavoidable because of thermopaper (for the record i do avoid plastic and thermopaper as much as possible, but that's off topic) or shit about how diabetics (t2) can't have sugar yet they carry emergency candies or something incongruent like that. yes, i've been reading fatpeoplestories because my inner a-log's been screaming at me and this is how i give it some release. god damn i wanna a-log sometimes.

god this is getting so long. i might as well be ranting about my poor little firstworldproblems or someshit. wow, i'm a cranky trans-oldperson today. blarg blarg blarg.

anyway what i'm saying is

GOD THIS CONVOLUTED SHIT IS REALLY, REALLY STUPID. WHO THE FUCK CARES. GOD THIS IS SUCH STUPID, STUPID BULLSHIT.

okay i feel better.
 
The past couple months I've switched my schedule completely. Used to sleep at night and work during the day. Now it's reversed. The upside is I don't have to work with the people who piss me off (pretty much everyone on days) and I don't have to see my domineering, toxic family as much (not going into that). The downside is less socialization and the fact that everything is closed on my days off. But I enjoy being a creature of darkness. And I closed my Facebook account, which makes me happy.
 
Grad school's settled down and I've found my rhythm. I'm not doing as well as I would have liked in my Intro to Research class (I basically got a B- on my last paper, due to screwing up my APA citations,) but other than that, it's all good. I think I'm going to do pretty well on my presentation on research methodologies.

Besides, APA is bad. ~*MLA 4EVAR*~
 
My friend can be such an airhead. She asked me if I could come over the other day. I didn't really feel like it tbh, since I'll be seeing her at a Halloween party this week anyway, but I said sure. We confirmed the time, but lo and behold, no one was home. I felt like a jackass as I stood there ringing the doorbell and knocking for who knows how long. She didn't respond to my text either. :sighduck:
 
So last night at work it was dead, and I ended up getting cut early, even though I wanted to stay because I'm kind of strapped for cash right now.

Today, I found out that after I left, they got slammed, and everyone made a ton of money. Meanwhile, I'm probably not making rent this month.

:'(
 
so i maintain my "slim-average" weight at 1000 cal for the last 9 years or something close. 9 months vegan, hardly a single result. i wanna be super slim, the "old average" weight just some decades ago. current "average" is fucking disgusting because of our sick culture. old average is the new underweight.

so i guess my metabolism is even slower than 1000 cal/day. when you remember that food calories are kilocalories...wow, that's a really slow-ass metabolism.

i'm gonna do 500 cal a day, shut up i don't care, my lifestyle. i'll tell you in a week how i'm doing.

i'm expecting a lower body temperature and slower movement and no other results.

such is life for hm yeah.
 
Today wasn't the best day. My dog bit me right when I was about to leave. I forgot a couple of things during orientation, and to make it worse, my anxiety flared up during it. Glad the day is almost over.
 
Today I had to get a second flu shot. Because the hospital my clinical unit this semester is in somehow lost the record of the first one. It literally never appeared on my medical record that I have access to.
 
Anathe said:
Today I had to get a second flu shot. Because the hospital my clinical unit this semester is in somehow lost the record of the first one. It literally never appeared on my medical record that I have access to.
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...Is that medically safe, getting two flu shots? I mean, I'm guessing it'd have to be if they made you get a second one, but still.

I had a damn good couple of days. I got the custom domain name for my Tumblr that I've been coveting for quite some time (one of my followers gave it to me as a gift, completely out of the blue!), I finished my Halloween costume (and I'm almost finished helping my friend with hers!), and I had a job interview--I'm hoping they call me back! Plus there's a new episode of Gravity Falls on tonight, which is always exciting. :D

So yeah, life's been good on my front.
 
Ancani said:
...Is that medically safe, getting two flu shots? I mean, I'm guessing it'd have to be if they made you get a second one, but still.
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They're not -making- me do it. It's just so much easier to get a second one than argue with them over medical records when this is due by Saturday.

As for safety, there's nothing inherently unsafe about it. They recommend it for some at risk younger children. But for adults, they discourage it because it offers no added benefit. So I got stuck just to make my life easier, I guess. Just a sore arm.

Oh, and it helps the needle phobia.
 
got my check (a bit late, but better late than never), and i guess i get a bit splurgey whenever i get paid, but i keep it under control. just got some potatoes, bananas, had lunch at a thai place with my bro (favorite food!! besides mandarin oranges)(i paid - feels good to be the one that pays, actually), stopped by an organic food store and bought some produce. bro got me a kampuchi tea thing or something, hella good and interesting.

think i'll make some pumpkin curry sometime soon. i've been meaning to cook more.
 
Anathe said:
They're not -making- me do it. It's just so much easier to get a second one than argue with them over medical records when this is due by Saturday.

As for safety, there's nothing inherently unsafe about it. They recommend it for some at risk younger children. But for adults, they discourage it because it offers no added benefit. So I got stuck just to make my life easier, I guess. Just a sore arm.

Oh, and it helps the needle phobia.
Click to expand...
Ahh, fair enough. Thanks for the info!
 
No new bugs (aside from fucking moths and little baby spiders) have shown up at my boyfriend's place and initial viewing of the juvenile was two weeks ago. I kept waking up and imagining the ceiling parting like a sea of hellbugs in the night but each week it gets better.

We are extremely aware of every fucking piece of fuzz in the apartment now and probably for the next year *sigh*

I took him out to a nice dinner last Saturday but we were so tired from moving furniture and doing everything short of making pentagrams of diatomaceous earth that we fell asleep soon afterwards.

I took my mom shopping for her (late) birthday present and bought her some fantastic Frye boots that she can wear in and out of work.
 
I had a shitty job interview yesterday at the community college I attended and later had the worst job of my life at. The lady who interviewed me teased me about how quick I answered the questions.

Also, the job (alumni relations) is another waste of money for the college, nobody wants to belong to the alumni society of a community college out in the middle of nowhere. This is the first time the college has tried doing such a thing.

You're probably thinking "well damn girl why did you apply?" because the job description was totally different than what was discussed at the interview.
 
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