He Man Reboot Announced

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Someone said ITT that the show feels like it was designed by committee. The more I think about it the more I agree. The flashback stuff is great and has an air of fun about it, but then you have unneeded character deaths (smacks of "wouldn't it be cool bro"), a bungled heroes journey, and character emotions that feel like five different people are writing them. I don't even mind they made it the Teela show, I just wish they did a better job of being consistent
 
What the hell its just five episodes of Kevin Smith violently masturbating while moaning "TEELA".
I especially didn't like the ending where (after finishing) Smith turns to the camera as it zooms into his face then says "The real Skeletor is white men!" as it cuts to black.
 
Muh stronk, empowering female characters these woke dumbasses make in current year all turn out to be bitter, spiteful, narcissistic harpies. Has there been any female characters made recently that are strong but also y'know...not an unsympathetic cunt?
The sexist projection is brighter than the sun at this point, this is why manga and anime is selling like gangbusters in the west - they have TONS of strong female characters who aren't only pretty, but also, y'know...not a bitch.

Case in point: Nico Robin from One Piece. She can snap a guy's spine no problem, but she's also mature, sexy and motherly. You think women would rather see uggos in their entertainment than the opposite? It's like saying men don't want to see beefcakes in their power fantasies.
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Let's take a moment to point out Mark Hammil is now a conspirator in the destruction of two beloved franchises now. He really needs to be more careful what contracts he signs.

Let's also take a moment to remember that it's not just He Man that got deconstructed here. They took Teela from us too.
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At least we have the memories. I know some people here are saying we cannot be critical without seeing it first. But I disagree. Just knowing this exists is bad enough. I don't want to further corrupt my childhood memories by actually watching this shit.
People saying "watch it first bro!" are just consoomer corporate whores. Benefit of the doubt is earned, and it can just as easily be lost. Western media in 2021 does not deserve the benefit of the doubt.

If someone gave you a turd on a plate, you're not a fool for refusing to do a taste-test to confirm that it is not, in fact, a turd-shaped brownie. If everything about it reeks of shit, you're pretty safe in assuming that it is, in fact, shit.
 
What really sad is that they coulda had their cake and ate it too.

Just drop the flash back he man shit, and have a story A teela and story B adam. and just jump back and forth so while Teela is trying to deal with X problem have adam get an arch where he has to deal with not having the sword of power, have something to give weight to his "sacrifices"

Have teela emote a bunch of confronting bullshit about love secrets etc.

On the smith talk.

the fucking 1990s are gone, he made a few meh movies that spoke to mid 90s counter culture.

He also drank from the poison chalice with his "an evening with kevin smith" shit.

he tells in funny and relatable way how hollywood works he breaks the rule that since you dont know where someone will end up, you always kiss everyone s ass all the time.

The netflix show was a fucking grift and he fucked up. I doubt he had that much to do with it, I bet a committee of writers told him what they wanted.

his job was to cash the fucking check and promote it.

The clownfish shit was soo fucking stupid. all he had to do was say nothing, or just be alittle tease and say "oh well just wait till the show drops and tell me how you feel tee hee"

Also mark hamil was just doing the joker.
I think he became a liberal cuck. When he ditch his christian faith to become "a fuck God" atheist. He claims it was becuase of his mom's death (which is God's Not Dead shit wait there)
 
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You want to see the types defending this dogshit. Here they are, I knew it would be bad but this….. defies expectations.
There is literally a gay pornstar amongst the ranks in that comment section defending this.

This is the average Kevin Smith defender
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Yep, the people that Stan this version of He-Man, have the exact same traits as TLOU2 Stans.
 
Yep, the people that Stan this version of He-Man, have the exact same traits as TLOU2 Stans.
If some drawfag is here, I’d appreciate Netflix Teela performing a “Joel in one” on He-Man while classic Teela is in Ellie’s position during that scene.

That would make my week
 
Kevin Smith failed to understand Motu fans want buff, glistening men and lots of them. .They want that sword of pork, barely contained by a little fur speedo.

Sure, they told Dad that yeah, the sorceress is hot but their thoughts go back to muscly men doing muscly battle.
Do I even have to say this is nsfw?
 
He's been woke for ages. This is nothing new. And even if he wasn't, the guy has always been a major asskisser and hypocrite with only mediocre titles to his name. Which is ironic since the guy got his start by giving indie filmmakers something to look up to until he himself became a massive hypocritical sellout. Guy turned his fanboy persona into another tool to stay relevant and gain gaggles of gullible supporters to keep pretending as if he was the voice of a community when really he was just using them to scale the Hollywood ranks.

The Kevin Smith who had the balls to tell the Warner Bros. executives that their Superman movie script was dogshit is long gone.

These days he just perpetually acts happy to be there at all.
 
I think he became a liberal cuck. When he ditch his christian faith to become "a fuck God" atheist. He claims it was becuase of his mom's death (which is God's Not Dead shit wait there)
Actually it was his dog's death that broke what little sanity his drug-addled mind barely had.
 
Actually it was his dog's death that broke what little sanity his drug-addled mind barely had.
Seriously?
Eh they deserve to milk this cow after Kevin Smith spent the last year unnecessarily dragging them. Geeky even called Kevin "A Little Bitch". Tbh I am enjoying them do their little victory dance.
Agreed. Considering that Kevin Smith was being lying hack when confronting them. I say yes they deserve this victory dance.
 
Kevin Smith lied...

No shit, he's a junkie, of course he lied.
Of course he's a junkie. He is truly the guy who would sell his mother's sofa.

Not even surprising that NF-[not]Man sucks, its Netflix who's demographic are trons.
I will say it and repeat it to the end of time, only Netflix could fuck up as simple as Voltron.
 
Basically, Bruce Willis is a professional, and Kevin Smith is a lazy, stoner, hack director. So the story we are not hearing is the real reason why Bruce Willis got pissed off at Kevin Smith while they were shooting the movie. I've surmised that Kevin kept fucking shit up and Bruce finally got fed up with his bullshit.
plus in Bruce Willis' defense, Smith was more professional on the set of Die Hard 4 (which was pre-weed) and he was acting like a dick because he was smoking too much pot.


Also, another reason to hate Seth Rogan, he was the one who got Smith on pot.
 
Eh they deserve to milk this cow after Kevin Smith spent the last year unnecessarily dragging them. Geeky even called Kevin "A Little Bitch". Tbh I am enjoying them do their little victory dance.
Part of the fun of watching this dumpster fire is the fact that there's people (even here) that are probably absolutely butthurt about the fact that Clowfish were right all this time. :story:
 
"It doesn't look like an easy place to sneak into, I don't look much like a member of the Horde."
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"But maybe I can change that..."
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