💼 Careercow Hayden Black - Untalented comedian with a string of failures including the infamous Gen Zed; suspended from Twitter

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I'm just imagining him standing up on stage, stiff as a board, staring at his iPhone and mumbling out his shitty autocorrect jokes while making zero eye-contact with the audience, every member with a bored or saddened expression.
 
I'm sure he got a few laughs when he first went up on stage, but that stopped the minute his audience realized it wasn't a joke and he was the one that they actually paid to see.
 
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Piga Dgrifm said:
I'm just imagining him standing up on stage, stiff as a board, staring at his iPhone and mumbling out his shitty autocorrect jokes while making zero eye-contact with the audience, every member with a bored or saddened expression.
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All four of them. That's four more people than there are Gen Zed fans.
 
Off topic but this showed up in my Youtube recs


Still more amusing than anything Hayden could make
 
Good news to all you Goodnight Burbank fans: three "new" videos have been uploaded to the Youtube channel!

I guess Hayden is trying to pump a little life into one of his old, abandoned projects.
 
Hayden somehow went and managed to make "pew pew" sound even more retarded.

Capture d’écran 2015-12-30 à 02.21.51.png


I'm pretty sure the current Russian leadership is not particularly supportive of Communism. No have they been for, oh, the past few decades.

Hat said:
Good news to all you Goodnight Burbank fans: three "new" videos have been uploaded to the Youtube channel!
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Gnd1ApKrZeMhttps://youtube.com/watch?v=yqOmDCMZwEMhttps://youtube.com/watch?v=koHOVrqh30E
I guess Hayden is trying to pump a little life into one of his old, abandoned projects.
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Capture d’écran 2015-12-30 à 02.23.00.png

Hayden's getting so desperate he's using the GZ account to shill old episodes of Goodnight Burbank.
 
Hat said:
I guess Hayden is trying to pump a little life into one of his old, abandoned projects.
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What happened to Goodnight Burbank? Does Hayden always do exactly 1 season of everything and then move on?
 
Ass Manager 3000 said:
That has to be a joke. Stand up routines need to flow in order to be entertaining, even I know that. I can't believe he would simply stand there and read random tweets :c
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Bad enough he did it IRL - but at least one could assume he realized it was a bad idea and decided to drop it...

...What am I saying? It just wouldn't be "Hayden Black" not to grab hold of a dreadful idea and make a run for home base!


I'm not even going touch on the Goodnight Burbank eps.
 
Sometime in the future, Twitter, after years of steadily decreasing traffic, finally winds up pulling the plug. The kinks have all been worked out of autocorrect, and it now functions flawlessly, no more of those embarrassing typos. Hayden Black, losing all meaning in life, cries into a half-drunk bottle of rum, his tears falling unevenly thanks to his cock-eyed sloping eyes. That night, he goes all out in a desperate attempt to cheer himself up, he buys as many transvestite prostitutes as he can, finally fulfilling his dream of having the FIRST EVER orgy to feature transgender prostitutes as the LEAD ROLLS.

The wild night does little to pull him out of his slump, however. Finally, at the end of his rope, he goes to the shop and purchases a single item. "Paper, plastic, or douche?" the cashier inquires of him.

Upon arriving home, he leans back against his tattered and worn Leelah Alcorn poster, sobbing miserably as he removes the item from its bag. He felt worse than *INSERT REPUBLICAN HERE* did the time when *INSERT LIBERAL TALKING POINT HERE* happened! He ran his fingers along the cool metal of the gun, and placed it to his temple.

Pressing down on the trigger, he finally left the world. Life without Twitter being too much for his heart to take. And, as the bullet pierced him, he was able to hear but one more sound as he slowly drifted away. What sound was that, you ask? Well, dear kiwis, it was the sound of the gun. A brief, simple

Pew pew.
 
Piga Dgrifm said:
Sometime in the future, Twitter, after years of steadily decreasing traffic, finally winds up pulling the plug. The kinks have all been worked out of autocorrect, and it now functions flawlessly, no more of those embarrassing typos. Hayden Black, losing all meaning in life, cries into a half-drunk bottle of rum, his tears falling unevenly thanks to his cock-eyed sloping eyes. That night, he goes all out in a desperate attempt to cheer himself up, he buys as many transvestite prostitutes as he can, finally fulfilling his dream of having the FIRST EVER orgy to feature transgender prostitutes as the LEAD ROLLS.

The wild night does little to pull him out of his slump, however. Finally, at the end of his rope, he goes to the shop and purchases a single item. "Paper, plastic, or douche?" the cashier inquires of him.

Upon arriving home, he leans back against his tattered and worn Leelah Alcorn poster, sobbing miserably as he removes the item from its bag. He felt worse than *INSERT REPUBLICAN HERE* did the time when *INSERT LIBERAL TALKING POINT HERE* happened! He ran his fingers along the cool metal of the gun, and placed it to his temple.

Pressing down on the trigger, he finally left the world. Life without Twitter being too much for his heart to take. And, as the bullet pierced him, he was able to hear but one more sound as he slowly drifted away. What sound was that, you ask? Well, dear kiwis, it was the sound of the gun. A brief, simple

Pew pew.
Click to expand...
i cannot stop fucking laughing send help i am dying
 
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