Having Children

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Kids

  • Yes, I'm a pregger fetishist and i hate money

    Votes: 26 44.1%

  • No, I want a succession of flesh dolls for companionship

    Votes: 11 18.6%

  • Idk, just let me get lubes for this fence

    Votes: 22 37.3%
  • Total voters
    59
Connor said:
I'm torn on this issue. As much as I'd like to start a family years from now, I am afraid that I wouldn't be an adequate father, or that my children, biological or adoptive, could inherit my genetic or psychological hang-ups, effectively creating Connor 2.0. The kid might even be born with mental or physical disabilities that will severely hinder them in life.
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For once, I agree with you. Be humanitarian.

 
I'd love to start a family, but not until I'm older and wiser and can handle the enormous responsibility that is raising another human being.
 
Nope, nu-uh, never.

The very notion of reproducing makes my skin crawl, and thankfully my partner is on the same page. Makes me dysphoric as shit to be reminded of my childbearing capabilities - honestly I just want all my equipment removed. Donate my uterus to a barren woman or a trans woman who wants to have it if that were even a possible thing to do. I do have a very parental/nurturing instinct and I think my partner and I would make great parents, but I have no need to have my genetic spawn wandering about. Basically remove my ability to have kids and in the highly unlikely situation I want to have a kid in my life later on I will adopt. Hell I could even be a foster parent for older kids who are stuck in the system and are overlooked in favor of bright-eyed bouncy babies.

But in the meantime I'll just stick with putting my instincts into taking care of pets and the birds. My parents tried to give me that whole "weeehhh I want grandchildren" shit when I first told them that they should never expect offspring from me. Thankfully after five years of me saying "nah piss off" they have given it a rest.
 
I don't think I'll ever be the person to actually plan to have children. I assume many men are the same, unless they've got some great legacy to pass on. I do know however that if she wants children, then I wouldn't disagree. I mean I'm reasonably intelligent and I don't possess horribly debilitating genetics.
 
I would love to have kids someday but I just don't know when that would be. For a while, 30 years old was the expected age although now I'm 23, that might be a bit too soon. My mom had me when she was in her early 20s and she projected her shitty childhood and mental issues onto me (Although I highly doubt it was intentional). Because of it, it made me kinda fucked up and I have my own mental issues (Bi polar disorder and chronic anxiety) and resentment from my not so good childhood. I don't want my kids to go through what I went through, which is why I want to hold off on having them for a while. My mom herself agrees with me and I think she has her own regrets on raising me as well. I also want to have a very stable job and a good husband in order for that to happen and given the way things are going now, it's going to be a LONG time before any of that will happen.
 
No, no, no, no, no. I do not like kids. For some reason, they seem to love me, but I do not like them. I cannot deal with the crying, pooping, screaming, etc, and I swear and drink way too much. I'm too focused on my career and interests to want to devote time to kids. That may sound kind of cold, but, that alongside the fact that those things would keep me away and that I don't have the slightest clue how to be one makes me think that I wouldn't be a very good dad, which wouldn't be fair to any potential kids that I were to have.
 
Eh. I have mixed opinions. It would be nice to have little Zachs running around, but I hate kids since they whine too much. So yea. eh.
 
I don't want a family. A couple of friends irl have children, and while they're good kids, I don't think I could deal with them long term. High amounts of energy, manipulative, inability to follow orders for long periods (their grandmother has had to tell them not once, not twice, not even three times, but around 5 times in a row to either get in the house or behave), and that's just a small list. These friends are good mothers, though, so it's a testament to their patience.

On the flipside, bad kids are intolerable little shits, and I don't know how their parents put up with them. Unless they're constantly puffing on ganja.
 
Eventually (when im like 30 plus years old at least) I want to create a mini me to carry on my legacy when I've long since passed. For right now...I'm too busy enjoying my single life to even think about getting a girlfriend much less settle down and raise a family!
 
Connor said:
What concerns me about my generation is the aura of uncertainty. Our future appears to be bleak, our culture is rotting from within, and day by day, empathy seems to be dying off in favor of selfishness, security and apathy.
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You could go back to basically any point in history and find people saying exactly the same thing.
 
I want some. Just not now. I'm actually kind of paranoid about getting a girl pregnant where I currently live and having to basically stay here for the rest of my life.
 
I currently identify as childfree, but I'm open to that changing as I get older, as I'm still in mid-twenties. I have Mirena, which is 99.9% effective (and if you get pregnant, there's a 50% chance of miscarriage, which I view as an additional bonus), but is also 100% reversible. I really can't see myself ever being at a point in my life where I would want to put someone else's needs before mine. I'm the most important person in my life, and I would never want that to change. A partner can be equally important, but never more important.

It's also because I've seen a lot of the women in my life completely change once they have kids. They become "mombies." My aunt in particular used to be a social worker, she had kids and just because 100% about the kids... you'd ask her how she's doing and she'll answer with how her kids are doing. I hate that. I would never want that to happen to me.

but it doesn't seem possible to have a happy medium... I have a cousin who had a "whoopsy baby" and works FT and her kid just grows up in daycare. I don't think that's a bad thing, but is it really being a mom? Where's the balance there?

My plan is to adopt lots and lots of dogs and puppies, and those will be my kids, because they're more fun anyway. But I'm totally aware I could change my mind and I respect that too. I just find it very unlikely...
 
MrsGoodman said:
I currently identify as childfree, but I'm open to that changing as I get older, as I'm still in mid-twenties. I have Mirena, which is 99.9% effective (and if you get pregnant, there's a 50% chance of miscarriage, which I view as an additional bonus), but is also 100% reversible. I really can't see myself ever being at a point in my life where I would want to put someone else's needs before mine. I'm the most important person in my life, and I would never want that to change. A partner can be equally important, but never more important.

It's also because I've seen a lot of the women in my life completely change once they have kids. They become "mombies." My aunt in particular used to be a social worker, she had kids and just because 100% about the kids... you'd ask her how she's doing and she'll answer with how her kids are doing. I hate that. I would never want that to happen to me.

but it doesn't seem possible to have a happy medium... I have a cousin who had a "whoopsy baby" and works FT and her kid just grows up in daycare. I don't think that's a bad thing, but is it really being a mom? Where's the balance there?

My plan is to adopt lots and lots of dogs and puppies, and those will be my kids, because they're more fun anyway. But I'm totally aware I could change my mind and I respect that too. I just find it very unlikely...
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I definitely agree with a lot of what you have to say, mainly about hating seeing your friends change after they have kids, and how some people leave their kids for others to raise in daycare, etc. Although I'm not ready for kids right now, as I get older I am warming up to the idea a little at a time. Since I think we think alike, at least enough in this regard, perhaps I can shed some light on some things for you.

I've been married now for a little under a year, although my wife and I are a few months away from 7 years of being together. I'm 27, so obviously we've grown up together for most of our adult lives. Despite this, we were really rocky for the first few years and even broke up for awhile, and a lot of it in retrospect, had to do with me being concerned if she was good enough for me and would be stable enough to rely on. Some of her problems back then, made me feel like giving up and moving on.

I said all of that to say this, having a wonderful marriage has really changed my perspective in unexpected ways. Yes, in a marriage you are 'equals' but in a lot of ways you need to put your spouse BEFORE yourself. That is probably against all of the instincts you have from dating; evaluating others to see if they are worth the time/emotional/financial investment of a relationship. But after that phase, and definitely after a marriage, you need to put that out of your mind. Hanging on to feelings like that will drag a marriage down. Both partners need to put their spouse's needs before their own, because it makes you happy to do so. I don't know what I'd do without my wife emotionally and spiritually. It brings me great satisfaction and joy unlike anything else to take care of her and make her happy. She feels the same way about me, and that's the way a marriage is supposed to be. If I held back because of fear of 'losing the investment' then I wont end up being a good husband in the long run. Be unafraid, be the man she needs and wants, sacrifice for your family, and a man will sleep easy at night and die happily.

As for kids, I don't think they should go before you. I think they should go after your spouse. Because the marriage is a foundation for parenting and parenting half-ass because of marital problems isn't good. Here's an article explaining this view in greater detail:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steph...put-my-husband-before-our-kids_b_5618395.html
 
Personally, I am 50/50 on the aspect of having children. While the thought of continuing my legacy appeals to me, I don't think I can supply the emotional and financial support a child needs.
I have many years ahead of me to change my mind, so there's that.

That being said, I don't care about the fact that some people use it as a sense of superiority over others. If you want kids, fine. If you don't, that's fine too. If anyone makes you feel bad for your choice, fuck them.
 
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