have you ever thought about killing yourself?

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
Sort by date Sort by votes
166-1669632_meme-memes-sticker-thinkingemoji-gun-shotmyself-dank-thinking.png
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
no - but i regularly fantasize about putting down several others (they totally deserve it btw)....and I sometimes dream up terrible accidents and catastrophes ( a la Wil-E-Koyote...anvils and pianos falling from cliffs...Tsunamis etc...) which destroy my enemies in front of me leaving me Totally Unscathed and in no way liable or even involved....hopefully caught on video tho'....I wish Death on people every day....
 
Upvote -1 Downvote
Several times a week, every week, for the last 30 years. I thought I never went through it because I was too chickenshit over whether there was an afterlife or what the Other Side looked like. If the Christian God was waiting for me, I’ve committed a terrible sin, ending the life I was given. If there’s nothing, then…what does nothing look like? What does it feel like? We can conceive of an “end” in the abstract, but we can’t perceive oblivion. So if you’re a scaredy-cat faggot like me, you’re even afraid of the void you wish you could achieve when you’re at your lowest.

But, eventually, I realized there was something else. This:

Gay Vito said:
I've been keeping myself alive mainly out of spite.
Click to expand...
Except not just alive. Better. I’ll be my own personal anti-bullshit in the face of mountains of it that stretch to Olympus. I’ll disregard the stuff that means nothing to me and embrace my own thoughts and my own passions as my own. I don’t have to share them with anyone. And I can do the right thing, when the opportunity presents itself, every time.

Am I gonna change the world? Nope. Too much of a pussy for that. But the world needs world-changers as much as it needs people who quietly go about their day, looking out for their fellow man whenever they can as they do. And I’m okay being the person who just helped someone pick up something they dropped, or shoveled my neighbor’s driveway. I’m okay doing the little things because the little things still need doing too when people are out there curing cancer.

I’m not a hero. But I can’t kill myself. The world needs people like me.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
Pargon said:
Several times a week, every week, for the last 30 years. I thought I never went through it because I was too chickenshit over whether there was an afterlife or what the Other Side looked like. If the Christian God was waiting for me, I’ve committed a terrible sin, ending the life I was given. If there’s nothing, then…what does nothing look like? What does it feel like? We can conceive of an “end” in the abstract, but we can’t perceive oblivion. So if you’re a scaredy-cat faggot like me, you’re even afraid of the void you wish you could achieve when you’re at your lowest.

But, eventually, I realized there was something else. This:


Except not just alive. Better. I’ll be my own personal anti-bullshit in the face of mountains of it that stretch to Olympus. I’ll disregard the stuff that means nothing to me and embrace my own thoughts and my own passions as my own. I don’t have to share them with anyone. And I can do the right thing, when the opportunity presents itself, every time.

Am I gonna change the world? Nope. Too much of a pussy for that. But the world needs world-changers as much as it needs people who quietly go about their day, looking out for their fellow man whenever they can as they do. And I’m okay being the person who just helped someone pick up something they dropped, or shoveled my neighbor’s driveway. I’m okay doing the little things because the little things still need doing too when people are out there curing cancer.

I’m not a hero. But I can’t kill myself. The world needs people like me.
Click to expand...
Thats deep man thank you
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
If we're being real (and if I'm procrastinating (I am)) I put a gun in my mouth about a year and a half ago. It was not a sudden or rash decision and not even close to the first time I've considered it but it was a notable moment anyway. I wasn't planning on doing it right at that moment but I was trying to figure out the best angle for when I do, and I decided it's probably worth trying a couple other things first.

I've always hated the "it gets better" bullshit because there are a lot of things that don't get better no matter what you do, things you just have to live with and manage, and there is nobody in the world less sympathetic to that situation than people who have faced hard problems that do in fact get better. The vast majority of my life I've spent managing a situation with no clear solution, and I didn't expect it to ever get better, I expected to be dealing with it until I die.

But it did get better. Pretty abruptly and without warning, through events entirely outside anyone's control. And at a cost, but all the same.

It may or may not happen to you. Sometimes things get better, sometimes they don't; sometimes they get better and then they get worse and then they get better and then they get worse and then you die. But you won't know if you don't stick around. Which is your prerogative. But I'm glad I didn't shoot myself last year. You never know how close you are to the finish line, in either regard.



There's also something you gain from being that close to suicide. Living becomes a choice rather than a habit. You look at the entirety of what life has to offer you and ask yourself, "Is there anything here to salvage? Is there anything left undone?" And inevitably you pick out the few things you care enough to live for, and everything else becomes insignificant, something you have already decided you don't care about. It cuts through the bullshit and orients you toward your real values and passions, which are what you should be pursuing anyway. Who gives a shit what you sacrifice in exchange -- worst case scenario you die, and you were gonna do that anyway.

To be clear I'm talking about making art and climbing mountains, not playing video games and smoking weed. If those are your biggest passions then yeah you should probably kill yourself.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
Occasionally I thought about it on some days whenever I became aware of my shitty life choices. Yet somehow I keep having memorable encounters with strangers, artwork that somehow motivates me to learn, and many other cool shit I find. Which just causes me to forget about it,
Why kill yourself when you can learn how to make some cool stuff even if it is stupid.
Plus the people dying thread may have convinced me that if I'm ever going to kill myself I might as well try and do something radical.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom