💥 Trainwreck Gloria Tesch / Sofia Nova - Author of the Maradonia series turned Republithot

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"That shit is just tacky" seems to be the aesthetic behind everything Tesch puts out. She can never just be subtle, or plain, or stark, or understated. Naw, there has to be a candy-lined bra and radioactive pastels involved.
 
Aside from all the weirdness in her life... I feel like we're a bit hard on gloria.

She's like a lot of girls her age where she thinks she's special. Maybe they're poems full deep sounding crap that's dumb "Now everything is nothing and I'm floating into your strong eyes" or maybe they're black and white pictures of tall objects in her neighborhood casting shadows, or instagrams full of smutty pictures or whatever the fuck. Just usually their parents don't care or maybe get them supplies or classes or something.

Really the only thing special about gloria are her exploitative parents rolling her normal hobbies into their kardasian-lite facade.
She's maybe more interesting now that we know the truth but I guess I would feel a little better if someone showed me some reason to dislike her.. is she mean to people? Show me some racism or something. She's gone from being a spoiled bitch that I didn't feel bad talking about.. cause she's lucky anyhow fuck her... to being a victim.

Also @Hellblazer I think she will do porn, and I think she is attractive in 78% of her pictures and I would have sex with her sometimes.
 
ChuckSlaughter said:
She's maybe more interesting now that we know the truth but I guess I would feel a little better if someone showed me some reason to dislike her.. is she mean to people? Show me some racism or something.
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Gloria Tesch said:
Recently, at one of my motivational teachings, the cutest little girl came up to me and asked, "How can I be as perfect as you?"

This question shocked me... because I am nowhere close to being perfect. But I answered her, "No one can be perfect. But to be beautiful on the outside... you must first be beautiful on the inside!"

...

"Happy girls are always the prettiest."

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Gloria Tesch
http://www.gloriatesch.com/blog/the-ideal-image
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Alright, so I haven't kept up with Gloria Tesch in a while. In all honesty, I didn't think she was still relevant after Twilight stopped trending, bringing down the popularity of sporking horrible "books" with it.

Did her family get outed as a bunch of frauds or something? Is Maradonia still a thing? I know there were some eyebrows raised, considering she seemingly had so much money. How old even is she
 
If happiest girls are always the prettiest, what emotion do tacky, aging pornstar-looking girls represent?
 
fireatdawn said:
Alright, so I haven't kept up with Gloria Tesch in a while. In all honesty, I didn't think she was still relevant after Twilight stopped trending, bringing down the popularity of sporking horrible "books" with it.

Did her family get outed as a bunch of frauds or something? Is Maradonia still a thing? I know there were some eyebrows raised, considering she seemingly had so much money. How old even is she
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Some revelations from last month: her parents have been divorced for several years now, Papa Tesch has been penniless for sometime and is now in deep legal trouble for avoiding payments on his house by repeatedly swapping the title of the property between him and Gloria's mother, they lost their house, and now Gloria is hoping to strike it big in LA.
 
Do people really want party mermaids? Ariel I can understand for kids parties but just a generic mermaid? A five second google search shows that other people are also offering this "service" but I can't tell if its actually popular or not.
Q. What types of customers have you worked with?
A. Kid's birthday parties are the most common. But I have also done very professional events such as movie premiers etc.
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Movie premier? What movie?
Q. What questions should customers think through before talking to professionals about their project?
A. It's so much fun!
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What? That doesn't.. that doesn't answer the question. The weird wording in another question makes me wonder if she copy and pasted these from somewhere.
I'm currently in college to expand my knowledge in writing, mass communications and film work.
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Really? I didn't know she was in college...
 
melty said:
Do people really want party mermaids? Ariel I can understand for kids parties but just a generic mermaid? A five second google search shows that other people are also offering this "service" but I can't tell if its actually popular or not.

Movie premier? What movie?

What? That doesn't.. that doesn't answer the question. The weird wording in another question makes me wonder if she copy and pasted these from somewhere.

Really? I didn't know she was in college...
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DeVry or Phoenix most likely
 
I can't believe no one else has picked up on the first line of the ad:
I am a real-life mermaid for events including birthday parties, bachelor parties, clubs, entertainment, charity, children and pool parties, etc.
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Point 1: No, Glo-Glo, you are *not* a real-life mermaid.

Point 2: If a bunch of dudes wanted to hire a young girl in a mermaid tail for a bachelor party, there is only one thing on their minds...
 
A bunch of dudes hiring any chick for a bachelor party ALWAYS have only one thing on their minds. Making it a mermaid just makes it weird.
 
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