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That's enough speed to get yo ass over the damn fence, methinks.
💥 Trainwreck Gloria Tesch / Sofia Nova - Author of the Maradonia series turned Republithot
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- Feb 4, 2013
Wow, just how baggy is she that she needs a dildo that size?
She's like a low rent Paris Hilton, but Paris at that age was way cuter than Gloria could ever be. If she didn't have such a decent figure no one would look twice at her. She's pushing her luck if she thinks she can get away with playing a school aged girl. She looks at least 25 there and she'll probably be over 25 by the time her stupid film comes out.
I bet David has filed that one securely in the Wank Bank.
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- Jan 24, 2015
Maybe she and Phil can get together and form an anarcho-communist-dildo commune
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The magnitude of this reveal is slowly sinking in.
So we've always assumed that a big part of the reason why Gloria is who she is stems from her parents' supposed wealth. Now we know that she doesn't even have that, and any purported wealth is a cover to hide the fact that the Tesches are dirt poor. To top it all off, the dear doctor is an elderly con artist with a criminal record in at least two countries and carries a violent streak.
I have to say, the Tesches are somewhat competent at what they do as they've managed to effectively pull off the facade of wealth. The private jet rental in particular stands out to me. That wasn't exactly an easy stunt, but the aged doctor made it happen. No wonder the movie is taking forever to come out. The whole thing was made on exactly no budget and they've spent all this time dodging the bills it racked up.
Gloria is who she is because her parents are narcissistic assholes who game the system and no doubt receive a massive ego boost from what they perceive to be an effective con. She's been raised to believe that the world is full of chumps and idiots, but she's one of the lucky few because mommy and daddy taught her how to be just like them. Add this to the fact that they tried to make her their biggest con ever and, well, we have 102 pages covering the results.
The problem for Gloria is that she's placed all her chips on her "attractiveness". Once that asset fades she won't have any cushion to fall back on. She's poor, she's naive, and she's egotistical. There is some chance that she could land a sugar daddy and live comfortably as a trophy wife for a few years, but she has such a sordid history that I'm skeptical 0f that ever happening. You don't want your trophy wife to carry baggage with her, and a simple Google search will now reveal that not everything is as it seems.
We knew Gloria's fantasy world was built on a flimsy foundation, but this isn't even what I'd call flimsy. It's actively deteriorating. I'm curious to see when the bottom will finally fall out. Can't say when that will be, but it'll happen.
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- Feb 3, 2013
Anarcho-communist dildoes, or a bankrupt septuagenarean crook? Decisions, decisions, lemme saddle up between this cozy rock and that real hard place.
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- Feb 7, 2015
Well, this explains why Gloria's doing softcore porn now. Her evangelical upbringing was just another ruse to put potential marks at ease.
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- Feb 3, 2013
Günter kinda reminds me of Elmer Gantry, a criminal preacher from a Sinclair Lewis novel... But he's less successful than Gantry, instead of rising to the top of society, he seems to be more like a mostly incompetent small-time gangster.
Anyway, it all makes sense now. That girl's history is all about escape -- escape from the real world: criminal violent father, impoverished family. When she was younger, she chose (extremely dumb) fairy-tale stories to get away from it all. Seeing that his daughter tried to write fantasy stories, Günter probably thought: Hey, this could be the end of my troubles! Don't all these fantasy authors get big movie deals and become billionaires? We know what happened: He tried to build his daughter's amateurish writing attempts into a career, telling her her books were great and she was destined for a life of fame and glamour. This became Gloria's second route of escape: Imagining herself as a famous star who parties with the rich and beautiful. But her career didn't take off (for obvious reasons), and thus she went down the third, most pathetic route of escape: booze and possibly meth or bath salts or cheap coke. Not a good start into adulthood.
BTW I apologize on behalf of Germany for "exporting" this Günter douche to the USA. Next time we'll send some extra sports cars, beer and sausages.
Anyway, it all makes sense now. That girl's history is all about escape -- escape from the real world: criminal violent father, impoverished family. When she was younger, she chose (extremely dumb) fairy-tale stories to get away from it all. Seeing that his daughter tried to write fantasy stories, Günter probably thought: Hey, this could be the end of my troubles! Don't all these fantasy authors get big movie deals and become billionaires? We know what happened: He tried to build his daughter's amateurish writing attempts into a career, telling her her books were great and she was destined for a life of fame and glamour. This became Gloria's second route of escape: Imagining herself as a famous star who parties with the rich and beautiful. But her career didn't take off (for obvious reasons), and thus she went down the third, most pathetic route of escape: booze and possibly meth or bath salts or cheap coke. Not a good start into adulthood.
BTW I apologize on behalf of Germany for "exporting" this Günter douche to the USA. Next time we'll send some extra sports cars, beer and sausages.
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I just realized something:
It's because they're too poor to afford a quality mermaid tail.
It's because they're too poor to afford a quality mermaid tail.
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- Mar 20, 2014
Getting ripped off by grifters usually does that. That's my guess who he/she is anyway.
The name will not mean much to many people here, but Web 1.0 lolcow Casey Serin was so similar to this that I'm wondering if they might be related. His family were Russian immigrants, hardcore evangelicals (strictly in word, not deed) that put on a façade of wealth based on credit and bad debt and in the end committed serial bankruptcy fraud to draw out foreclosure as long as possible.
For years people focused on Casey and the worst his parents were accused of was enabling. Then it all came out that his parents were even worse (well, at least as worse -- they did this with one house, Casey did it with
. But they're like a mirror image. And now we have a 100 page thread on what seems to be the least interesting person in the Tesch clan.
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- Feb 7, 2015
We know Papa Tesch probably slapped his wife around, I wonder if he was abusive to Gloria and her brother as well. That would explain a lot. Spousal abuse would also explain the divorce. I wonder if her mom got tired of being part of her dad's schemes, told him to knock it off, and he went off on her, and that was the last straw. I hope Gloria didn't become the target of his temper. I wonder if they homeschooled her to hide abuse? Sometimes abusive parents do that. This is all speculation, but that would explain the little world she's constructed for herself. If I'm correct, the real world wasn't very nice to her, so she made her own where she could be happy.
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- Feb 3, 2013
Yeah, I was reminded of Casey Serin, too.Getting ripped off by grifters usually does that. That's my guess who he/she is anyway.
The name will not mean much to many people here, but Web 1.0 lolcow Casey Serin was so similar to this that I'm wondering if they might be related. His family were Russian immigrants, hardcore evangelicals (strictly in word, not deed) that put on a façade of wealth based on credit and bad debt and in the end committed serial bankruptcy fraud to draw out foreclosure as long as possible.
For years people focused on Casey and the worst his parents were accused of was enabling. Then it all came out that his parents were even worse (well, at least as worse -- they did this with one house, Casey did it with
And now we have a 100 page thread on what seems to be the least interesting person in the Tesch clan.
He most likely isn't related to the Tesches, though -- he was neither German nor Russian but in fact came from Tashkent in Usbekistan (former USSR). Born as Konstantin Serin, he changed his first name to "Casey" in the USA because Serin spells "CepiH" in the Cyrillic alphabet, which together with his first name's initial letter gives "K-C" or "Casey".
Also, Casey wasn't violent at all -- just smug, stupid and ambiguously gay and transfixed by the idea of becoming a young billionaire through shady real estate dealings. Last I heard about him, he had left his house-flipping ways behind and was working on a fruit plantation in Hawaii quite peacefully.
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- Jun 6, 2013
No apologies necessary. We Yanks have sent more than our share of con artists and criminals to ply their trades abroad. And as far as Deutsch grifters go, Herr Tesch isn't one-hundredth the sociopathic, violent scumbag that this guy is.
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- Mar 20, 2014
Off topic but no, they're ethnic Russians. The 'Stans were filled with ethnic Russians before the dissolution of the Soviet Union. They're not ethnic Uzbeki. That would be... Russian to conclusions...
He's a driver for Uber and a licensed real estate agent in California. Reputedly he just closed his first house a few months ago.
Back to GloTech:
This whole thing makes a lot more sense now. When she was photographed and confirmed she was working in a low(er?) rent version of Hooters, I was confused. I mean I know wealthy kids who did "crazy stuff" when they were young but that just seemed really bizarre to me. Like, not fun, or dangerous, just slightly more lucrative than being an ordinary waitress, but having to deal with grope-y yokels in return for it.
Now details like that make sense. The whole thing makes a lot more sense.
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- Apr 27, 2015
Of course she does! He's one of the Marx brothers, isn't he?
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I'd like to remind people we've known about Glo's dad, somewhat, for a while.
Filming on set was halted because he wasnt paying the actors and crew, right? And he was an evangelical speaker touring around the country? I don't mean to cause offense to any christian users here, but evangelical speaking is the biggest con ever.
He's a dodgy fuck, but i had thought his dodgyness had brought him unethical money, not no money.
Filming on set was halted because he wasnt paying the actors and crew, right? And he was an evangelical speaker touring around the country? I don't mean to cause offense to any christian users here, but evangelical speaking is the biggest con ever.
He's a dodgy fuck, but i had thought his dodgyness had brought him unethical money, not no money.
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- May 27, 2013
I bet her movie was one of those shit ads on Craigslist that tried to get people to work as extras or grips for "exposure and valuable work experience". Maybe even one of those that promise a camera man $100 a day but the camera man must provide their own equipment. At least it explains why filming stopped since it's proven they're broke.
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- Mar 13, 2015
I understand,evangelical pastors are a huge issue here in Brazil,sex slavery,brainwash to give everything and become a slave in a farm,converting drug lords to kill and expel African religions from poor communities, etc.
Maybe I could make a thread on them,but content needs to be translated.
Anyway,I really feel bad for her,she's really fucked up bad if all this is true.
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She wouldn't know who they are either.
Exactly, that pretty much sums up the last four pages or so.
I'm going to hold out hope that they release the film as a last ditch effort to make some extra cash.
The key thing to remember, though, is that regardless of her circumstances Gloria is still a pretty shitty person. The whole "she's a spoiled rich kid" angle was basically tossed around as a reason to explain why she turned out the way she did. Now that explanation has been proven false, but another has risen to take its place. Either way, Gloria's parents are terrible and set her on the path of failure, but she's fully embraced their ideology. She still wakes up every day and commits to being the person that spawned a 100+ page thread on Kiwi Farms.
You can only blame upbringing for so much. At some point you gain the power and maturity to make your own decisions, and while countless people break away from a toxic environment and forge a better life, Gloria chose to stay in the narrative because it fuels her narcissism.