💥 Trainwreck Gloria Tesch / Sofia Nova - Author of the Maradonia series turned Republithot

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She split the first two books. The last two I've never seen around, ever. Maybe they'll eventually pop up really cheap, one can only hope.
If this manages to get played at a local theater SOMEHOW, I'm rounding up people and going. Not holding my breath on that, though.

I get the feeling they left out the "over the tree, dumbshit" line, given how that was removed from (and the 9/11 reference inserted into) the newer version. How disappointing.
 
bradsternum said:
OH GOD DID YOU WATCH THE PREVIEW? Holy shit it's so wonderfully incoherent and awful! They even got a tiny black dwarf!

https://youtube.com/watch?v=2-ZOOPwwHMY
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Why? Why GOD WHY?

A preview should not be 10 minutes long...

A PREVIEW should NOT be 10 minutes long!

A PREVIEW should NOT be 10 MINUTES LONG!

... Yeah, I'm not repeating myself again. Bring it on, and by God someone have a Rotten Tomatoes Page and a Metacritic page up and running for this ASAP - besides IMDB. Let's make this shit forever known, people.
 
Shokew said:
Why? Why GOD WHY?

A preview should not be 10 minutes long...

A PREVIEW should NOT be 10 minutes long!

A PREVIEW should NOT be 10 MINUTES LONG!

... Yeah, I'm not repeating myself again. Bring it on, and by God someone have a Rotten Tomatoes Page and a Metacritic page up and running for this ASAP - besides IMDB. Let's make this shit forever known, people.
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It would be much better for Tesch if she cut a thirty second teaser. That way, no potential distributors would be aware of how terrible the product is.
 
bradsternum said:
It would be much better for Tesch if she cut a thirty second teaser. That way, no potential distributors would be aware of how terrible the product is.
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That's rule #1 of Previewing anything - right there. And this is something even professional movie makers don't get all that much anymore. Too bad even they know better than to show 10 FUCKING minutes of their shit, unlike our lolcow on display here.
 
WWWWolf said:
You've heard of the concept, Tesches, right?
Distribution?
The part that actually ensures that the film is "Coming Soon to a theater near you"?

*dualhandedfacepalmstresssigh*
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You realize that the "distribution" in this case will probably be the following.

They'll rent out a small theater for the night, have a red carpet affair complete with paparazzi and possibly the guy from "Celebrity Soup" do a red carpet interview with Gloria and her co-stars. They'll have a champagne reception. Then it's a private showing for the cast, crew and their friends. People will tell Gloria how good her movie is. Then it's either a catered dinner or a trip to a banquet hall for the after party.

Normal people like ourselves will probably never get to see this masterpiece and my life is not going to be complete unless I can get a copy.
 
Phil Ken Sebben said:
You realize that the "distribution" in this case will probably be the following.

They'll rent out a small theater for the night, have a red carpet affair complete with paparazzi and possibly the guy from "Celebrity Soup" do a red carpet interview with Gloria and her co-stars. They'll have a champagne reception. Then it's a private showing for the cast, crew and their friends. People will tell Gloria how good her movie is. Then it's either a catered dinner or a trip to a banquet hall for the after party.

Normal people like ourselves will probably never get to see this masterpiece and my life is not going to be complete unless I can get a copy.
Click to expand...

Patience my dear Phil, Gloria's ego will ensure at least a limited online only DVD release.
 
CWCissey said:
Patience my dear Phil, Gloria's ego will ensure at least a limited online only DVD release.
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It's probably going to be a crappy DVR with no extras on it like the copy of "Legend of the Roller Blade Seven" I got from Scott Shaw's website.

What a letdown but at the same time, who else can say they have a copy of his "Zen movie masterpiece"?
 
I want to point out that I still have not read my copy of Maradonia.
 
bradsternum said:
OH GOD DID YOU WATCH THE PREVIEW? Holy shit it's so wonderfully incoherent and awful! They even got a tiny black dwarf!

https://youtube.com/watch?v=2-ZOOPwwHMY
Click to expand...
I have no idea who Gloria Tesch is or what this movie is supposed to be about, or really anything that this thread would cover, but within the first 25 seconds of watching this, I could already tell by the cheesy music and ridiculous text effects that whatever this is, it's going to be fucking horrible.
 
Phil Ken Sebben said:
You realize that the "distribution" in this case will probably be the following.

They'll rent out a small theater for the night, have a red carpet affair complete with paparazzi and possibly the guy from "Celebrity Soup" do a red carpet interview with Gloria and her co-stars. They'll have a champagne reception. Then it's a private showing for the cast, crew and their friends. People will tell Gloria how good her movie is. Then it's either a catered dinner or a trip to a banquet hall for the after party.

Normal people like ourselves will probably never get to see this masterpiece and my life is not going to be complete unless I can get a copy.
Click to expand...

I have seen adverts for "the red carpet experience" where you pay a couple of hundred quid, where they glam you up, slap makeup on you and collect you in a nice looking car, you walk down a funny carpet world off cut outside a cinema or theatre, that treats you to warmed through tepid Iceland canopies and they usher you into see a semi OK film, then off to the after party in some place that had a function room going cheep.

It's normally marketed to the vanity circle, guy trying to impress a girl in a nice effort but really inept first date or older couples doing it for a laugh like a shorter version of a murder mystery weekend.

I wouldn't be surprised, if her dad did somthing like this to protect her ego.
 
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what does that even mean?
 
Maradonia is pretty much a beginner's d&d game with a beginner dm. No plot just random things that pop up, the DM is lost so he just starts making shit at random, he has no control over the characters so they use plot holes and break rules, there's this one asshole who knows how to play so he godmodes everything.

meltychocolate said:
I can't believe no one else has hit upon the brilliant strategy of having the writer also be the lead actress, producer, editor, and do all the music too. You can save so much money!
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The Room and Birdemic want a word with you.
 
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