💥 Trainwreck Gloria Tesch / Sofia Nova - Author of the Maradonia series turned Republithot

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The more I see of that Maradonia movie, the more it reminds me of a Bill Zebub film. Except unlike Bill Zebub, she's being 100% serious. It's truly incredible.
 
Holy shit, this is actually happening.
Someone tell Rifftrax about this. Please. This movie is the type of film made to be made fun of.
And it's glorious.
Invoking the great god Gary, Maradonia Gear Solid: Literal Snake Eater, the cheesy main theme (Macadamiaaaaa, Macadamiaaaaaaa), Stoner Midget (That's his name now), the plot of "kids wander into a renaissance fair", evil's hammy acting. Everything indicates that this will be the comedy of the year.
But not intentionally.
 
Someone needs to put together an Imdb listing. Just checked and all I can find is a brief biography of Gloria (written by herself, obviously). I'd love it if Maradonia got on one of the lists of worst movies of all time.
 
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Oh boy. You know my favorite part of any book is the page count!

(also what is this madness! Co-author! Never!)

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Still with the amusement park! Still! It ain't going to happen kid. But if it does, I'm going. I'll be there on opening day. I'll be there on opening day and you butts are going with me.
 
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littlebiscuits said:
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Still with the amusement park! Still! It ain't going to happen kid. But if it does, I'm going. I'll be there on opening day. I'll be there on opening day and you butts are going with me.
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This is the first I've heard about the "Maradonia Adventure Park". How far removed from reality are these people? You'd think that the years of wallowing in obscurity would have lessened their delusions of grandeur a bit, but no.

Jesus Christ, I don't ever want this ride to end. You just know that decades from now Gloria is going to be lying on her deathbed, her "creations" still unrecognized by the world, and with her dying breath she'll whisper that she's actually destined for posthumous fame. People don't realize how great artists are until they're gone, right?
 
littlebiscuits said:
Still with the amusement park! Still! It ain't going to happen kid. But if it does, I'm going. I'll be there on opening day.
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I wish it would go through, it'd be the worst Florida amusement park since the days of Pirate's World. I guess secondhand (or third or fourth) carnival rides aren't as cheap as they thought it'd be.
 
Imagine she gets a section of Universal studios dedicated to her book only because her father pays for it. But as a joke the park people only have it be a dedicated bench and a trash can even though they paid 10 billion dollars to get an adventure park.
 
Phil Ken Sebben said:
The website has been updated and it's now showing a promo for the movie which they promise is coming soon to a theater near you.

http://www.maradonia.com/
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Coming Soon to a theater near you
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Looking good! In the unlikely event Tesch's marketing team is listening, I do have one pro tip. Just a small one. No biggie.

I have a GRAND NUMBER of film posters. Ordinary people generally don't think just how many different posters a single title may get - there's posters for the actual release and also pre-release posters. I think the pre-release posters are often awesome because they often just have logos and such and are more minimalistic.

But even as minimalistic as they are, there's one little thing in the corner. I just walked up to the hall and took a look what's in the corner of the fine Matrix Reloaded poster. (Don't judge me. I like terrible films. The doctor said it was harmless unless I go telling people to actually watch them - if I do that he'll bring out the big syringe again, oh god it burrnsies no no no. Also totally looking forward to the Maradonia film. It is indeed not a complete coincidence I mention it here.)
One corner? Village Roadshow Pictures. The other? Warner Bros.
Now why would there be another logo besides the actual film studio logo? Could it be that this studio is relying on the help of a multinational giant like Warner to market and distribute the film?

You've heard of the concept, Tesches, right?
Distribution?
The part that actually ensures that the film is "Coming Soon to a theater near you"?

*dualhandedfacepalmstresssigh*
 
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