💥 Trainwreck Gloria Tesch / Sofia Nova - Author of the Maradonia series turned Republithot

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Saney said:
Holy shit, she does look like Amy Bouzaglo.
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Could that mean she could end up marrying an old man and running a restaurant, boasting about how she can't hear food critics because her cooking is awesome?
 
c-no said:
Saney said:
Holy shit, she does look like Amy Bouzaglo.
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Could that mean she could end up marrying an old man and running a restaurant, boasting about how she can't hear food critics because her cooking is awesome?
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Unlikely. Unlike Amy, Gloria can't contain her delusions to one career field.
 
If I were God, I would part the clouds and send down seven white doves, one with a golden tail feather and the hilarious name of "Libertine" (which definitely doesn't mean whatever Glo-Glo thinks it means), to say "EAT A SANDWICH, GODDAMN."
 
I wonder what Gloria will do after her modeling. She's already done writing, screenwriting, directing, acting, and modeling, what sort of career will she pursue next?
 
CalmMyTits said:
I wonder what Gloria will do after her modeling. She's already done writing, screenwriting, directing, acting, and modeling, what sort of career will she pursue next?
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Probably a cartoonist.
 
This was posted on her facebook page not too long ago: http://celebritybuzzing.blogspot.com/
I don't even know where to begin. A shameless self promotion blog with a misleading name and only a single post. This is probably my favourite part:
The title, "World's Youngest Novelist" has been given to her by many in 2008, although there has been much debate about the exact time she has written and published her first novel, Maradonia and the Seven Bridges. Going back to dates and facts about this claim, we can confirm that she carries this title.
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' Who are 'we'? who gave her the title? It reads like she was officially titled 'World's Youngest Author' in a special ceremony confirming once and for all that she is the TRUE and HONEST youngest author.
 
Javert said:
This was posted on her facebook page not too long ago: http://celebritybuzzing.blogspot.com/
I don't even know where to begin. A shameless self promotion blog with a misleading name and only a single post. This is probably my favourite part:
The title, "World's Youngest Novelist" has been given to her by many in 2008, although there has been much debate about the exact time she has written and published her first novel, Maradonia and the Seven Bridges. Going back to dates and facts about this claim, we can confirm that she carries this title.
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' Who are 'we'? who gave her the title? It reads like she was officially titled 'World's Youngest Author' in a special ceremony confirming once and for all that she is the TRUE and HONEST youngest author.
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I love how they've confirmed "dates and facts" to verify this claim, but never actually tell you what those dates and facts are. Reminds me if an excerpt from one if the books where a character is overwhelmed with many "feelings and sensations" or some crap like that. It might've been from an excerpt she read in a radio interview (that daddy obviously bought) a while back, but I'd gave to go look.
 
Given the stronger and more obnoxious attempts to preach morality on her billion or so publicity blogs, her "today a reader tommorow a leader" bullshit, the extremely strong right wing fundie overtones in her work, and her existing links to the republican party, I originally had some suspicions that she would try to enter politics.... but then I saw this post and realised both that this possibility is almost a certainity, and also that she is a far bigger and more self righteous bitch than I previously suspected

This repulsively self righteous, hypocritical (given how much she of all people whines about how bad materialism is) and smug post was nominally about Jersey Shore but went quickly on a tangent about how corrupt and worthless the non tesche world and how superior she and her "alpha" class of human are to the "beta, gamma and delta" class proles and how she and her ilk need to control the "lesser" people.

Here is the article with some of her more wannabe fascist lines made bold and some unfanny smartass riffs from me

MEDIOCRE AND CORRUPT GENERATION
So giving the fact that at several of my book signings, I’ve seen this plenty of times… our generation has been going down-slope!

Its downhill you illiterate platypus faced cuntstain

You might not see it now, but TV will play a role if there is a downfall of the USA. The fact remains there will always be four groups of people in this world. In ancient times, the Greeks and Romans measured their country by a person’s level of understanding (or mental capacity) in the following groups: Alpha, Beta, Gamma, and Delta!

they also believed that women were subhuman and brainless breeder sows.

1. The Alpha is the first. They are the leaders running the country, usually the doctors, scientists, political leaders, attorneys, etc.

Hmm, i dont see talentless, brainless and self worshipping whores on this list.

2. The next group of people is the Beta. They are second in the group and have some knowledge in different fields. They usually work for the Alpha ( like clerks, messengers, secretaries, teachers, etc.)

Or this list.

3. The third group is the majority, the Gamma. This large group of people is a group of consumers (usually materialistic) mostly with a shallow living!

says the aforementioned talentless brainless bitchwhore who uses daddy's money to get everything she wants

4. Finally, a downgrade from the Gamma are the Deltas. These are the people who don’t care about their lives or the lives of others (mostly criminals and drug consumers)

by now the similarities to FShitstain's ultra-loveshy dogma should be overwhelmingly obvious

I could say a few more words about these four groups, but I am concentrating now on the majority group of Gamma people. The group you fall into begins early, just as most teenagers are consumed into a corrupt generation. One of the many reasons the expansion of the mind is stopped abruptly is no further than your living room television! Just by switching on the TV, millions of teenagers have the opportunity to access television shows such as “Jersey Shore”, “True Life”, “16 and Pregnant” , “My Super Sweet 16″ etc.

clearly a certain narcissistic spoiled brat is jealous that she doesnt even get a fraction of the attention and fame of far more likable and less pretentious teens in these shows

Teenagers even as young as the age of 10

............ I will just let that stand for itself

have become intoxicated by the dirt of several of these reality shows! As a society we are to blame. The VH1 and MTV are networks that promote these shallow television shows and then cater to a generation that has become unmotivated and too lazy to think! The original idea of MTV was to promote music videos to the public; now it has moved onto a foundation of sick reality shows and is viewed by children! Reality shows such as “Jersey Shore” portray continuous partying, drinking, and promiscuity as the only way to have fun.

clearly paying people to say they like you and pretending the world worships you is a far better way of having fun

As young teenagers see this, they begin to make the wrong decisions and revolve their lives around idols of luxury. Our young generation, raised on reality garbage, now believes that they are ‘adults’ having teen sex, drinking, consuming drugs, etc.

I now am beginning to see why Chris likes this shitstain given their shared self righteous whining about how drugs r bad (mkay) and how evil reeb is

Additionally, another reality show, “My Super Sweet 16,” emphasizes materialism!

...REALLY GLORIA!?

The series consists of rich girls having several thousand dollars invested into their sixteenth birthday party,

which is CLEARLY worse than a far more spoiled and detestable rich girl getting tens of thousands invested into her various ego projects which she happily discards the moment she is bored of them

traditionally called “sweet 16″. Parents become frustrated, as their own daughter wants the exact party, but cannot receive it. And the ones making money off these shows are the brainless networks promoting them. MTV operates by enforcing the shallow lifestyle of materialism, immaturity, and judgmental material. People are pulled away from what really matters and become consumers with the slogan, “I want it all and I want it now!”

Says the girl who got her daddy to buy her own TV hour show she could simper about how awesome she is (along with the aforementioned funding of her narcissistic monuments to her utter lack of talent)

The economy could collapse, because young people now think they can party their lives away and not work or receive an education. Later in life they will realize that this is not the case…

says the barely literate and utterly untalented womanchild whose sole skill has been her disturbing ability to milk her daddy's money for her ego projects

In my view, the problem (which not many people realize at this time) runs deeper then it really seems! These shows are not merely reality TV. These shows have an impact on who will run our country in the years to come! As this generation grows older and live their lives as full adult lifestyle, the reality shows they have always seen push them into a lower lifestyle. If these shows grow worse and worse each year, to keep the people entertained, the generations to come could be a downfall for the entire country.

Huh.... turns out that despite being a disgusting hypocrite and having the greatest lack of talent ever seen in any field she has dipped her feet in.... she is JUST as fucking stupid when trying to talk about politics and society

I believe that as this domino effect continues to take place, people of this country would not have the patience to work anymore. Americans want fewer hours and higher pay. This would mean that foreigners have an opportunity that they would not let pass. The truth is American people buy brains! Foreigners from other countries are offered money to live in the US to build up the country. Several take the work force, stabilizing the country on the costs of the Gamma people! This is extremely possible as many foreigners offer more work and less pay, concluding to a second Great Depression- where many American people could land on the streets!

Looks like gloria overheard her daddy drunkenly rant about damn spics taking america's jerbs

Sure there are ways to stop this from happening for example: parental control of the television. But can parents really take the time and sit there, making sure their teenager will not watch anything? No. I believe the government should interfere. But, anything that involves the government will take a while to get into full swing. Problems would also appear. Americans people would fight for their television freedom. So… let them.

....so the worst writer of this or any century wants to start forcibly censoring tv for reasons more hypocritical than the human mind can process while happily mocking those who will defend basic constitutional freedoms. What. A. Cunt.

In conclusion, if the Alpha and Beta (higher educated people) are not fully interfering by forcing changes towards the laws and restrictions, then this scenario could possibly come to life! These television networks that play a small role in the economy might be a result in our entire country running into an open knife!

go to so much hell you narcissistic fascist

This is something for you to think about, and I hope you all might put this to your consideration.
Gloria

All I am considering is how much I would have to pay nick bates to have him imprison you in his septic tank
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CalmMyTits said:
Reminds me if an excerpt from one if the books where a character is overwhelmed with many "feelings and sensations" or some crap like that. It might've been from an excerpt she read in a radio interview (that daddy obviously bought) a while back, but I'd have to go look.
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That could be almost any passage. Conjugal Felicity, in his sporking, points out that Maya is constantly having "feelings" to do this or that. Early in Book One, she just has a "feeling" that she should lift up her hand, and Libertine the dove (I'm sorry, that's just hilarious... like the dove is having a lot of illicit sex?) immediately perches there. Feelings, nothing more than feelings.

As for the blog post, she can't even have original thoughts when trying to be fascist. Those "class" divisions are straight out of Brave New World. Also that's hilarious about "drug consumers," given the discussion upthread about the "Molly" t-shirt on one of the chicks in her idiotic "rap" video.

Edit: Also lrn2English before you rant about foreigners, Glo-Glo: "As this generation grows older and live their lives as full adult lifestyle" -- Live their lives as lifestyle? OK then...
 
Judge Holden said:
Given the stronger and more obnoxious attempts to preach morality on her billion or so publicity blogs, her "today a reader tommorow a leader" bullshit, the extremely strong right wing fundie overtones in her work, and her existing links to the republican party, I originally had some suspicions that she would try to enter politics
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She'd make a fine beard for any number of deeply closeted Republicans.

(Bonus hilarity points when she's genuinely surprised by the revelation.)
 
And I thought Chris-chan had some stupid ideas for laws. He wasn't trying to censor TV. No wonder he seemed to like Gloria.

And yeah, I've read the recaps, so I know what you're talking about. But there was a radio interview somewhere where she read an excerpt. Listening to the DJs praise it at the end was just hilarious, mostly because I can only imagi e what they were actually thinking. (It was also funny because Gloria, if I remember right, wasn't very good with public speaking.)

Edit: Ah, here it is, and here's a transcript. Apologies if this has already been posted.
 
Judge Holden, your sporking of Gloria's post was the most entertaining thing I've read in a while.

My fucking god, I thought with how materialistic and deluded she is, she would actually LIKE 'My Sweet 16' because of all the money Daddy pours into her various projects, though.
 
^ But in the first Maradonia volume, her self-insert character complains (after being lectured to by a toad about the future) of having no cable TV or cell phone and being forbidden to go to the movie theater. There's just enough angst in that speech to make it plausible that she's ranting about her actual life... as opposed to points in the books where her Mary-Sue should be angsting, but isn't (like after other characters' deaths).
 
Ooh, didn't even bother to look at her Twitter. Now I wish I didn't.

‏@GloriaTesch 7 Jul
Whoa, check out this article guys! http://celebritybuzzing.blogspot.com/ http://fb.me/2OfYl8wCK

@MattJRogers 7 Jul
@GloriaTesch Really interesting article! Reading stuff like that makes me think it's inevitable that you'll take over the world one day.
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That... was a crappy sockpuppeting attempt. This is a new low, even for Tesch.

I mean, if it was a real blog, Tesch would have needed to actually provide a permalink to the article. Nope, just link straight to the front page. And I think that guy is somehow involved in the team activities, just because he bothers to reply to her.
 
I find it interesting that apparently her family helped her with the plot. Her dad is an evangelist, maybe he was the one who went beyond ripping off Narnia and ripped off the Bible.
 
Good God, I have to facepalm at Gloria's shitty article.

And I wonder why Gloria wrote an article and then share it by posting "WOAH CHECK THIS ARTICLE OUT GUYZZZ!!!11ONE" as if she didn't write it.
 
Take it, swankivy:

[Gloria] doesn't want to write; she wants to Have Written.

And she's trying to have her cake and eat it too with the modeling thing, I think--it's something she can reasonably do, because you don't actually have to be creative or well-spoken to do it and she's a pretty girl, and it has its own prestige. BUT since there are also downfalls to being a model--people will assume you're "a slut," people will accuse you of having loose morals, people will assume that you're not very smart, none of which is really true for models--she has to put a disclaimer up about how she's a model but not THAT kind of model, no no, not HER. So . . . basically, she wants the "celebrity" aspect of it that goes with "wow, all these people want to take my picture!" but she doesn't want people to attach the usual perceptions of modeling to her.

She definitely eats up the attention she gets for being scantily clad at the drop of a hat, though, don't let her fool you. Not only did she deliberately create "bikini" scenes for her Maradonia movie and her music videos just so she could have that excuse to appear in her bathing suit, but on the music video she deletes critical comments ASAP but LEAVES really disgusting sexually explicit comments by people saying what they want to do to her sexually. Those stay. Comments mentioning me in a positive light or saying the video sucks get deleted.

And yes, you've got it kind of right with regards to Americans and Christianity. Probably a lot of the people who support her in real life are from her church. She does not want to give the wrong impression to those sweet people who have praised her books or given her money for the indiegogo campaign (and of course told her how unique and talented she is for writing horrible books at such a young age). But I'm sure they're less than pleased with Gloria's photo shoots. She's probably been asked whether this is really such a good idea, because no matter what you say about how you're not taking modeling seriously as a career due to its danger to your Christian faith, you're still letting yourself be photographed wet, with your legs spread, sitting in the sand, in a bikini. That is not incompatible with being Christian, of course. It's just that many more conservative people will judge you within your own community if you are happily making money by posing in such a way that your photos are designed to inspire lust.

It's a poorly conceived "excuse," incidentally, because people who aren't sympathetic to Christian perspectives will find this pandering obnoxious, and people who ARE following Christian principles are generally still going to be put off by this. Especially considering the hateriffic lyrics in her rap videos and the not-really-masked curse words she's saying. You don't say "Don't worry, everyone, I'm a very modest young lady" and then try to take credit for "producing" music videos wherein you walk up stairs in a skirt with the camera positioned so it will be looking at your butt.
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Where did Swankivy say that? I don't think I've seen that. She makes some good points; it's clear that Gloria's not in this for the joy of writing, however much she might like to claim that she is; she's in it for the celebrity nature of it. Never mind that a lot of authors don't have that sort of celebrity clout that she's hoping for. Just look at the title of the blog post that she wrote; celebrity's right in the title!

I never thought too much about the Christian aspect of it, but that does make a lot of sense as well. Especially wanting the fame of modelling without the backlash,

(And speaking of Swankivy, I loled at the cameo she made in Gloria's 'music video'. What a prestigious role! :P)
 
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