💥 Trainwreck Gloria Tesch / Sofia Nova - Author of the Maradonia series turned Republithot

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GGGBYBYBY said:
I'm more partial to the Gothic Movement.

Upon reading the ebook sample I noticed that the dialogue her characters spew is so cringeworthy and doesn't sound as though ANYBODY even some twat living in a fantasy world would say. It's too awkward.
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Later in the book the characters say that one particular mermaid has the "diarrhea of words". Several times! I have a feeling her parents have worked to keep her isolated from society in general.
 
MysticMisty said:
Later in the book the characters say that one particular mermaid has the "diarrhea of words". Several times! I have a feeling her parents have worked to keep her isolated from society in general.
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I'm chalking that up to a general klutziness with the words and the fact that her parents aren't native English speakers. She probably meant "logorrhea".
 
GGGBYBYBY said:
Upon reading the ebook sample I noticed that the dialogue her characters spew is so cringeworthy and doesn't sound as though ANYBODY even some twat living in a fantasy world would say. It's too awkward.
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You might've had something bad for dinner prior to reading the books. After all, "food effect's your mood."
 
Dat acting...dat editing....dat... EVERYTHING!!!

My god I think my mind has just fragmented from how bad this film will be. This is below Tommy Wiseau, below Ed Wood, below Coleman Francis, below Uwe Boll, below Nguyen

Guys, I think this may be the worst film of our age

Also

wpev8.jpg


.... are those the observers from MST3K?

Oh god... rifftrax... this film.... I think I might have just had an aneurism out of the sheer joy of seeing rifftrax rip the film apart and the sheer rage that this movie is actually being made
 
Dark Mirror Hole said:
Here's a 12 minute trailer/preview of the movie. The closing scene is gold.
http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/marad ... en-bridges
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Well well! Turns out Tesch is a passable actor. Or at least she sounds considerably better than the other actors they found.

Wasn't prepared to see her in swimsuit, though.

Aside of small details like this, though, I'm sure every B movie fan will love this. By trailer alone, I think it has already earned its place on my DVD shelf next to Dungeons & Dragons, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale and the Ralph Bakshi version of The Lord of the Rings.

Edit: Also - dammit, Tesch, quit reading from the cue cards, that sounds really really grating.
 
Makes the production values of "The Magical Adventures of Billy Owens" look good. I will say that Tesch is a better actress than she is a writer. She's not good by any means, but compared to that asshole who plays Joey, and that cheeseball who plays Apollyon, she's fucking Meryl Streep.
 
I like how she cast herself in the movie as one of the main characters, in case you needed any more proof that it's her personal fantasy fulfilment. I get the feeling "Maya" was actually a self-insert in disguise from the start.

EDIT: just skimmed over the wall of text that's meant to convince you to fund the movie. Came across this:
The main characters are completely different in personalities.
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If you need to go out of your way to mention that, you're probably doing something wrong in your writing.

It also bugs me how, every time Tesch is mentioned, the writer of the article (probably Tesch herself) makes sure to praise Tesch's non-existant talent some more.
 
I was also pleasantly surprised by Tesch's acting. If you're like me and can't tell the difference between good acting and bad acting, she's actually passable. The dialogue on the other hand...
 
Sorry guys...I just got back from the hospital. I watched the teaser and couldn't stop laughing...shortness of breath...oh god...
 
Dark Mirror Hole said:
I was also pleasantly surprised by Tesch's acting. If you're like me and can't tell the difference between good acting and bad acting, she's actually passable.
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For the most part, that's because she is (short of her parents, perhaps) the most emotionally-invested person attached to the project. This is her Mary Sue fantasy baby, after all.

Then again, maybe she intentionally hired thoroughly less-than-mediocre actors to make herself look better in comparison.
 
How did they get actors to do this at all? I can't imagine that any actor in the US could be so broke or desperate to work for this project.
 
DykesDykesChina said:
How did they get actors to do this at all? I can't imagine that any actor in the US could be so broke or desperate to work for this project.
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Obviously, not the most legit actors, but amateurs who want something-anything-for the resume, hobbyists, and other assorted broke twenty/thirtysomethings.
 
DykesDykesChina said:
How did they get actors to do this at all? I can't imagine that any actor in the US could be so broke or desperate to work for this project.
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It's called Craigslist. Look under Gigs - Talent or Jobs - TV/Radio and you'll likely find someone filming and wanting an audition. I think Gloria might have stepped in it on this one:

We want to show our appreciation! You will have exclusive access to the production. Stay for 5 shooting days on our costs and a part in the movie will be offered. You receive a Bonus Membership Certificate as an Executive Producer. A private dinner is waiting for you with the Director, the Producers and several actors of the Movie. This event will be filmed and will take place in Tampa, FL. In the Intercontinental Hotel. You will be transported in a Limo as a VIP. Get ready! You are special!

Definition of Executive Film Producer:
Pre-production: Unless the film is supposed to be based on an original script, the producer has to find an appropriate screenwriter. If an existing script is considered flawed, they are able to order a new version or make the decision to hire a script doctor. The producer also has the final say on which film director gets hired. They also have the last word when it comes to casting questions.

Post-production: Among other things the producer has the last word on whether sounds or music have to be changed or scenes have to be looped. But even if the shooting has officially been finished, the producers can still demand that additional scenes are filmed after all. In case of a negative test screening producers might even demand and get an alternative film ending. This happened for example with First Blood. Producers are also in charge of selling the film or arranging distribution rights.
 
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