💥 Trainwreck Gloria Tesch / Sofia Nova - Author of the Maradonia series turned Republithot

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WWWWolf said:
I heard that in some drama classes, the excessively dramatic arm flailing cliché is called "milking a giant cow".
...this may or may not be relevant, is all I'm saying.
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In drag, they call it picking apples.
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One of the things I've noticed in my creeping (aside from Glo's bust shifting slowly toward her collarbones like tectonic plates) is that none of her Insta posts seem to have any comments, while they used to have at least a handful, as little as four months ago.
 
glutenfreebooty said:
In drag, they call it picking apples.
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One of the things I've noticed in my creeping (aside from Glo's bust shifting slowly toward her collarbones like tectonic plates) is that none of her Insta posts seem to have any comments, while they used to have at least a handful, as little as four months ago.
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Maybe they finally banned Kengle, Waterhead, and the swarm of other furious masturbators who always commented.
 
After her marriage/engagement to Uberman over here it wouldn't do for her public image to still have those desperate people commenting all over her profile.
 
Phil Ken Sebben said:
Damn not only is that woman's voice annoying but is she unable to talk without punctuating every word with her hand?
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Oh I've been talking about this bitch forever. Tomi Lahren is a news anchor for The Blaze, Glenn Beck' s network. She's 24 with her own news show that is a few months old. Stupid bitch wants to work at Fox News so bad, so will say anything and do anything short of stripping naked while saying the Lord's Prayer. I guess dumb blondes think alike.
 
VortekPMD said:
Oh I've been talking about this bitch forever. Tomi Lahren is a news anchor for The Blaze, Glenn Beck' s network. She's 24 with her own news show that is a few months old. Stupid bitch wants to work at Fox News so bad, so will say anything and do anything short of stripping naked while saying the Lord's Prayer. I guess dumb blondes think alike.
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The thing that strikes me as ironic is that Gloria reposts a pro police message on her Facebook, yet in her Convertibuh music video she can clearly be seen shooting a cop (with a water gun). Was this the inspiration for the Dallas shooter? #policelivesmatter

 
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Vicious.ink3 said:
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Finally managed to catch a still from her instagram post of her work on her "new book" and it's as tedious and poorly written as you'd expect:

"....you own adventure QUOTE )) For now, we have to clean the kitchen and do the dishes, my love. Once you ('re all done?) you can go outside and play."
"Ugh," said Sam. He grabbed a towel and worked his way to the dish sink. He did not like the idea at all, but with the help of his sister, it was done in a short amount of time.
Sam smiled at the finished work. He put his hands on his hips and said, "mom, look! We cleaned everything."
But just at that moment, Sam accidentally hit the flower case as he raised his elbow. Immediately the antique vase fell to the ground, splitting into hundreds of pieces.
"Sam! You broke mama's vase!" Leah shouted.
"Oh no!" Sam suddenly burst into tears, "I am so sorry, mom. I know how it's your favorite vase."
Mrs. Lawrence slowly looked at all the pieces of her beautiful vase scattered on the kitchen floor. Her utter sadness slowly turned into a light smile.
"Oh my little boy, you shouldn't be so clumsy."
Mr. Lawrence immediately grabbed the broom and said, "Accidents happen, but next time you must watch the things around you."
"I'm really sorry, mom," Sam looked down and bit his lip. Then he suggested, "I can help you clean it up."

Oh, my sweet fuckiing hell. That was only half a page and it was painful!!
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Why is it that Gloria is incapable of writing anything but a semi autobiographical story about her and her relatives with some fantasy shit thrown in?
 
"Stop the presses! I'm a cigar chomping Hollywood mogul, and just glancing at those typed pages tells me this kid is gonna be a billion dollar industry!"
 
Papa always made breakfast for me every morning. Today he made my favorite bacon and waffles! I couldn't resist. I ran downstairs. As soon as I sat down, I immediately dove in. I munched up the bacon first and then grabbed the waffles and swallowed themall within a couple of bites.

"Sam! You didn't wait for the rest of the family and you didn't pray for your food " my dad said.

I frowned. "But that takes too long."

"No Sam. you have to be patient." my dad insisted.

Ugh... I look down in my empty plate. My empty plate stared right back at me as I challenged it with my fork in hand. It really isn't that fun. Everyone else wakes up so late and by the time they wake up, I want to be fishing already. The thoughtof catching "Big Bass" entered my mind.

"Papa, can I use your fishing rod today""

"No Sam. that s for the big fish. I only use that to go deep sea fishing Maybe you can use it when you're a little older "
I sighed. Being little isn't fun. I can't wait until I'm older then I could do whatever I wanted to do just like my big sister Leah.Oh if only I could catch the legendary bass then I could prove to everybody who

And I can't decipher the last bit. I'm hoping the punctuation isn't as nightmarish as the blurry screencap suggests. I didn't include any typical spelling errors, if only because I can't tell if it's the video quality or actual typos. Those paragraph indents though are a whole 'nother beast. Also, why the fuck is dad making breakfast so early if everyone gets up a lot later? Who wants cold bacon and waffles?
 
I would ask why it seems like there's parts of it written in first person and parts written in third person, but I guess I already know.
 
MysticMisty said:
Papa always made breakfast for me every morning. Today he made my favorite bacon and waffles! I couldn't resist. I ran downstairs. As soon as I sat down, I immediately dove in. I munched up the bacon first and then grabbed the waffles and swallowed themall within a couple of bites.

"Sam! You didn't wait for the rest of the family and you didn't pray for your food " my dad said.

I frowned. "But that takes too long."

"No Sam. you have to be patient." my dad insisted.

Ugh... I look down in my empty plate. My empty plate stared right back at me as I challenged it with my fork in hand. It really isn't that fun. Everyone else wakes up so late and by the time they wake up, I want to be fishing already. The thoughtof catching "Big Bass" entered my mind.

"Papa, can I use your fishing rod today""

"No Sam. that s for the big fish. I only use that to go deep sea fishing Maybe you can use it when you're a little older "
I sighed. Being little isn't fun. I can't wait until I'm older then I could do whatever I wanted to do just like my big sister Leah.Oh if only I could catch the legendary bass then I could prove to everybody who

And I can't decipher the last bit. I'm hoping the punctuation isn't as nightmarish as the blurry screencap suggests. I didn't include any typical spelling errors, if only because I can't tell if it's the video quality or actual typos. Those paragraph indents though are a whole 'nother beast. Also, why the fuck is dad making breakfast so early if everyone gets up a lot later? Who wants cold bacon and waffles?
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Either she's back to putting random words in quotation marks or "big bass" is a euphemism for something.
 
MysticMisty said:
Papa always made breakfast for me every morning. Today he made my favorite bacon and waffles! I couldn't resist. I ran downstairs. As soon as I sat down, I immediately dove in. I munched up the bacon first and then grabbed the waffles and swallowed themall within a couple of bites.

"Sam! You didn't wait for the rest of the family and you didn't pray for your food " my dad said.

I frowned. "But that takes too long."

"No Sam. you have to be patient." my dad insisted.

Ugh... I look down in my empty plate. My empty plate stared right back at me as I challenged it with my fork in hand. It really isn't that fun. Everyone else wakes up so late and by the time they wake up, I want to be fishing already. The thoughtof catching "Big Bass" entered my mind.

"Papa, can I use your fishing rod today""

"No Sam. that s for the big fish. I only use that to go deep sea fishing Maybe you can use it when you're a little older "
I sighed. Being little isn't fun. I can't wait until I'm older then I could do whatever I wanted to do just like my big sister Leah.Oh if only I could catch the legendary bass then I could prove to everybody who

And I can't decipher the last bit. I'm hoping the punctuation isn't as nightmarish as the blurry screencap suggests. I didn't include any typical spelling errors, if only because I can't tell if it's the video quality or actual typos. Those paragraph indents though are a whole 'nother beast. Also, why the fuck is dad making breakfast so early if everyone gets up a lot later? Who wants cold bacon and waffles?
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This reads like the start to a story about chicken tendies and good boy points.
 
Alfred Hitchcock said, "Drama is life with all the dull bits cut out." Amazingly, when writing instructors illustrate this, the "bad writing" example they always use is someone describing what they ate for breakfast!

Also, in Woody Allen's "Take the Money and Run," which is partly in faux documentary style, one of the robbery witnesses gets caught up in describing what he himself ate for breakfast.
 
"Pray for your food"? I assume she means "Say a prayer over your food" or "Say grace" but no native English speaker who is accustomed to saying prayers/grace at meals has ever said "Pray for your food."
 
MrsFrizzle said:
"Pray for your food"? I assume she means "Say a prayer over your food" or "Say grace" but no native English speaker who is accustomed to saying prayers/grace at meals has ever said "Pray for your food."
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Pray that the pig we're eating isn't burning in hell, son.
 
I stand by my theory that none of this shit is Gloria's idea. Maradonia is Gunther's trainwreck attempt to cash in on the YA-Fantasy market, and Marina clearly sees Gloria as nothing more than an extension of her. Keep in mind she was homeschooled by two non-native English speakers, and that her social media is very carefully controlled by her mother. We have very little information on what Gloria is really like when she's not pretending to be this faux famous person her parents force her to be. Maybe she is a megabitch in real life like she presents online, or maybe she just does what she's told because that's been nailed into her skull all her life.
 
Vicious.ink3 said:
Okay, while I agree with most all of what you said, I've never been able to cosign on the idea that her media accounts are controlled by her mother. What's the proof?
I'm not saying I'm not willing to believe it, but I would like evidence.

EDIT: Also, has anyone else looked up AGS group International, because I have, and aside from a Chinese shipping co., they don't seem to exist. I assumed it was Alex no-vowels-for-me-thanks Srcn's "international business" that he owns, but I can't find any affiliation with anyone who even vaguely fits his name/description. I'm not anything resembling a hacker or even a particularly competent internet detective, but... I dunno... that seems shady to me.
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A lot of her social media accounts don't show any of the activity you would expect from someone's personal account. They only exist to upload Gloria's setpiece photoshoots, stolen instagram/stock photos, and her music videos. It's all very sterile and artificial, no visible online interaction with her real-life friends or posts about things that aren't related to the carefully crafted public image of auteur, singer, model, and reverse mail-order bride. Most people probably have Facebook posts bitching about waiting in line at the post-office or talking about the fastfood lunch they indulged in yesterday, but those kinds of things are notably absent from Gloria's online presence.
 
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