💥 Trainwreck Gloria Tesch / Sofia Nova - Author of the Maradonia series turned Republithot

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Tom B Jobe said:
Not sure if there's any companies promoting contemporary schlock. I know some sell old baddies like "Switchblade Sisters." In theory, I should be able to watch Maradonia fascinated by all the inexplicably moronic choices, but the truth is, once I acclimated to horrible as the baseline, it just started to feel pointless and deathly boring. Especially for non-Tesch fans, it's possible it falls in that category of "just plain bad" instead of "so bad it's good."
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Don't be talking bad about "The Jezebels" a.k.a. "Switchblade Sisters" that movie is a classic of the grindhouse genre if there ever was one. It's entertaining as hell and so much fun to watch. There's a reason I have it on DVD.

But in reference to Maradonia, I can see it becoming a cult classic Grade Z movie if it's ever released commercially. You can't make a bad movie on purpose. Okay you can but it feels artificial. A real Grade Z movie has all the hallmarks of the actors trying their best but it's hampered by a bad script, bad acting, bad directing and just bad everything.

What remains to be seen is if Herr Tesch and Glo Glo are willing to swallow their pride and accept that they've created a cinematic turd instead of the billion dollar blockbuster they had dreamed of.
 
Phil Ken Sebben said:
Don't be talking bad about "The Jezebels" a.k.a. "Switchblade Sisters" that movie is a classic of the grindhouse genre if there ever was one. It's entertaining as hell and so much fun to watch. There's a reason I have it on DVD.

But in reference to Maradonia, I can see it becoming a cult classic Grade Z movie if it's ever released commercially. You can't make a bad movie on purpose. Okay you can but it feels artificial. A real Grade Z movie has all the hallmarks of the actors trying their best but it's hampered by a bad script, bad acting, bad directing and just bad everything.

What remains to be seen is if Herr Tesch and Glo Glo are willing to swallow their pride and accept that they've created a cinematic turd instead of the billion dollar blockbuster they had dreamed of.
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He can't seriously believe that his movie is so great. If it is the next Harry Potter, then why does nobody want it even at bargain basement prices?
 
You know, I don't follow trends too closely, so I'm curious: Are audiences even interested in the contemporary YA fantasy anymore? The plethora of Harry Potter and Twilight ripoffs seem few and far between these days. Perhaps the Tesches have missed the train altogether?
 
He Sets Me On Fire said:
You know, I don't follow trends too closely, so I'm curious: Are audiences even interested in the contemporary YA fantasy anymore? The plethora of Harry Potter and Twilight ripoffs seem few and far between these days. Perhaps the Tesches have missed the train altogether?
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The bombing of The 5th Wave and the Divergent series says no.
 
Muscle Bra said:
You are correct, and I mis-stated that. I should have said that Richie was "of German heritage". His surname is almost certainly German and @Tom B Jobe pointed out that Richie's publicized disdain of modern medicine is very Germanic. Although it seemed entirely logical that Gunther would attach himself to a fellow grifter with whom he had a lot in common (religious right, phony doctorate, FL location) I may have jumped to a conclusion that he was German.

Although, has anyone watched Richie's "Tower of Babel"video? Not only does it lead off with an awesome rhyme ("The Tower of Babel was not at all stable...") it also includes a really weird looking puppet who I think is speaking German.

View attachment 95922

https://youtube.com/watch?v=N1BOcbIKqYw

Yeah. The fact that he looks like a bad Hollywood prop is only the uncanny valley icing on the cake of his unintentionally hilarious videos.
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These ultra-creepy puppets... they speak some language I don't recognize, it's not German, I suspect it may be Chinese? Does anyone here recognize that language and understand what they are saying?
 
Maradontia said:
He can't seriously believe that his movie is so great. If it is the next Harry Potter, then why does nobody want it even at bargain basement prices?
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I've been trying to figure that out. At first, I thought it was just an example of Gunther telling people how great Maradonia is for so long that he's started to believe his own hype but now I'm pretty sure it's an old-fashioned case of denial. It's got to be a serious blow to Gunther's and Glo-Glo's egos for them to put a lot of time (and a not-inconsequential amount of money) into the movie and to have no one -- not even the lowest of Z-grade distributors -- want it.

DykesDykesChina said:
These ultra-creepy puppets... they speak some language I don't recognize, it's not German, I suspect it may be Chinese? Does anyone here recognize that language and understand what they are saying?
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The two female puppets are definitely speaking some Asian language but I'm pretty sure the male puppet (the one with the mustache) is speaking German or Swiss or something along those lines.
 
Muscle Bra said:
I've been trying to figure that out. At first, I thought it was just an example of Gunther telling people how great Maradonia is for so long that he's started to believe his own hype but now I'm pretty sure it's an old-fashioned case of denial. It's got to be a serious blow to Gunther's and Glo-Glo's egos for them to put a lot of time (and a not-inconsequential amount of money) into the movie and to have no one -- not even the lowest of Z-grade distributors -- want it.
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What happened to that deal they made?
 
Muscle Bra said:
The two female puppets are definitely speaking some Asian language but I'm pretty sure the male puppet (the one with the mustache) is speaking German or Swiss or something along those lines.
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If it spoke German I'd understand it, and I recognize Swiss German.
I just re-listened to that video, trying to get what it says. It sounds like: "Iste damerspots", which isn't any language I know, most of all not German. I agree though it has a Germanic feel to it. It might be Dutch or maybe Danish? I'm not sure.
 
FatNero said:
What happened to that deal they made?
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We never heard anything else about it, so you can file it in the same category as her rap debut at the roofie club and the Maradonia premiere at the local theatre. If Team Tesch didn't make a big deal about it, that's a good indicator things did not go as expected.

DykesDykesChina said:
I just re-listened to that video, trying to get what it says. It sounds like: "Iste damerspots", which isn't any language I know, most of all not German.
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To an English speaker, it sounds like he's saying "It's the dumbest parts", which is actually kind of funny,
 
DykesDykesChina said:
These ultra-creepy puppets... they speak some language I don't recognize, it's not German, I suspect it may be Chinese? Does anyone here recognize that language and understand what they are saying?
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Muscle Bra said:
The two female puppets are definitely speaking some Asian language but I'm pretty sure the male puppet (the one with the mustache) is speaking German or Swiss or something along those lines.
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They are speaking Mandarin Chinese and they are basically just reciting the Tower of Babel story from the Bible without any embellishment.

Whenever I think that this topic is winding down, some weird shit always manages to pop up. I'm still not over those fucking puppets. Or the guy's face. The fuck.
 
Here's another hilarious video from the good doctor. It's a retelling of Adam and Eve where, instead of fig leaves, the two are wearing really ugly sweaters. And, oh yeah, at one point Adam bitch-slaps Eve.

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I like how none of Richard's English dialogue is subtitled in Chinese. Way to reach your intended audience.
 
To Phil, you're right, "Switchblade Sisters" is a classic of the genre, highly entertaining. On the puppet stuff, the videos seem to be part of their "Christian outreach to the Chinese" enterprise.
 
Muscle Bra said:
"It's the dumbest parts",
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It actually sound like that to me.
I think the Richy puppet is voiced by the man himself, so maybe it is actually supposed to be Chinese and he butchers the pronounciation.
Do we have any Chinese speakers here?
 
So the orangutan is voiced by a Chinese woman, but the puppet is operated by Richard. Likewise, Eve is voiced by a Chinese woman while Adam is a male English-speaker. This probably means the show consists of Richard and one Chinese-speaking woman who isn't physically present in the studio. Probably sends him sound files.

I give you a fourteen-line song wherein every line rhymes with "God":

Always trust in God,
He has a path to trod,
Be part of the Bible Squad
And always love and trust in God.

The Devil is a fraud,
Listen only to God.
The Devil wants you to be a clod,
Listen and love only God

Always trust in God,
What is wrong is odd
Be a part of the Bible Squad,
Always love and trust in God.
Be a part of the Bible Squad and
Always love and trust in God.
​
AND IT'S STUCK IN MY HEAD!!
 
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