💥 Trainwreck Gloria Tesch / Sofia Nova - Author of the Maradonia series turned Republithot

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If Günter wants to make some bucks, he should return to his roots and crank out a music album of feel-good gospel sound with a guest appearance of Goldilocks with "Jeezuz iz my Homeboy".
There's probably a sufficiently large market for this to help him get on his feet again.
 
Vicious.ink3 said:
[MEDIA=instagram]8f5PYBjElf[/MEDIA]
So... this happened...
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Despite what other posters have said, this is an extraordinarily powerful image.

The evident awkwardness, vulnerability and discomfort - perhaps even internal panic - that the model displays gives the lie to the assumption that the millennial generation is, in a sense, made of a sexual Bakelite, hardened in the glare of the selfie flash, and at least as comfortable naked as it is with its clothes on.

This image is a poignant work of unwitting irony; where the model seeks to project an air of sexual confidence she instead presents herself as a nervous naif in need of reassuring embrace. It's a piece that has quite the visceral effect on the viewer - and one that rewards repeat viewing.
 
Muscle Bra said:
Don't knock Troma. Their films might be cheap but they do exhibit a certain level of craftsmanship. You may not appreciate what Troma does but the quality of the films they offer is far beyond that of Maradonia.
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I'm not knocking Troma. They don't just make films. They also distribute shitty F-Horror films because they are intentionally hilarious.
 
Chan the Wizard said:
I think a writer should know they are lying in bed not laying in bed.
You lie down, you lay an object down.
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Unless you count Gloria herself...puppet slave to her father's schemes. Forced into a life of 'writing', 'acting', and 'modeling' without seeing any benefits except a crash course in photoshop and brand new clothes to wear for the photogs. Except each time the clothes keep getting smaller and smaller...sometimes they're just the bottoms of a bikini now. That blurb could have been Gloria, begging us to help rescue her so she can live a normal life...

But it's probably not. Gloria IS pretty dense.
 
captkrisma said:
Unless you count Gloria herself...puppet slave to her father's schemes. Forced into a life of 'writing', 'acting', and 'modeling' without seeing any benefits except a crash course in photoshop and brand new clothes to wear for the photogs.
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I'm not entirely sure this is correct, since Glo-Glo really seems to want to become famous. Maybe her parents instilled in her the desire to become famous without doing anything but I still think she made a conscious decision to do so without being blindly controlled by Daddy.

Over time, it's becoming more clear that the books were co-written (if not outright ghosted) by Daddy Tesch but I still think the "modeling" and the "rapping" careers came from her and not Daddy. And, when I watch any of the promotional material related to Maradona, I don't see someone who has been forced into anything. Go-Glo looks like someone who has completely bought into the fact that she is a successful author/actress/producer/director.

She may be doing nothing more than selling a Potemkin Village but but she is very much a willing participant.
 
Phil Ken Sebben said:
Update on the Maradonia movie.

According to Papa Tesch they're finishing the movie in studio this week and he's going to be sending it out next week for a distributor. With luck it will in theaters by late November.

If the rest of his message is to be believed this vanity project nearly wiped them out financially and they're hoping it's going to be a financial success with options and big studio money for a sequel.
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Ah the old "I belive in this project and I have put all the money I have into it, I belive in it so should you!" pitch.
 
Ravenor said:
Ah the old "I belive in this project and I have put all the money I have into it, I belive in it so should you!" pitch.
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I think I'm already on record saying that I am willing to put money down on a DVD for this although I'd prefer something professionally done and not just a burned DVD with an inkjet label on it. If Glo Glo and Dr. Gerry put out a professionally done DVD with bonus features, bloopers, behind the scenes stuff and other tidbits I would gladly give them $24.95 for it.
 
Phil Ken Sebben said:
I think I'm already on record saying that I am willing to put money down on a DVD for this although I'd prefer something professionally done and not just a burned DVD with an inkjet label on it. If Glo Glo and Dr. Gerry put out a professionally done DVD with bonus features, bloopers, behind the scenes stuff and other tidbits I would gladly give them $24.95 for it.
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From what I have seen of it that could mark you down as the primary investor.
 
I want to see the film that wraps shooting this week and is fully posted -- audio, efx, cutting -- and ready for distribution a week after wrap. ... Oh, wait, no I don't. But seriously, did he actually SAY this?! How does someone not know how theatrical releasing works in this day and age? Does he just think that he'll burn a copy and take it to the local theatre and they'll say "Sure!" and run it? I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
 
Chandler Cats said:
I want to see the film that wraps shooting this week and is fully posted -- audio, efx, cutting -- and ready for distribution a week after wrap. ... Oh, wait, no I don't. But seriously, did he actually SAY this?! How does someone not know how theatrical releasing works in this day and age? Does he just think that he'll burn a copy and take it to the local theatre and they'll say "Sure!" and run it? I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
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I think his example for movie making is Manos: The Hands Of Fate.
 
Chandler Cats said:
Does he just think that he'll burn a copy and take it to the local theatre and they'll say "Sure!" and run it? I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
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Some franchise theatres will rent the space out for screenings if the price is right. Expect the Maradonia movie to premiere and close in one night with a very limited release (the one theatre they rented for the night).
 
I hope the movie gets released soon so we can get some good MST3King done and something awful but enjoyable.
 
captkrisma said:
Some franchise theatres will rent the space out for screenings if the price is right. Expect the Maradonia movie to premiere and close in one night with a very limited release (the one theatre they rented for the night).
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Oh, yeah, definitely. It happens all the time in my neck of the woods, but this reads like he's going to just drop it off at the theater and wait for them to publish the show times. Getting an indie film a major studio distributor means taking it to film markets and festivals. I don't think even the fine folks at Asylum would touch this thing and they start with a title and work their way backwards!
 
Ostensibly filming stuff, like holy shit

film1.jpg

film2.jpg
 
Chandler Cats said:
Oh, yeah, definitely. It happens all the time in my neck of the woods, but this reads like he's going to just drop it off at the theater and wait for them to publish the show times. Getting an indie film a major studio distributor means taking it to film markets and festivals. I don't think even the fine folks at Asylum would touch this thing and they start with a title and work their way backwards!
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Actually, the response he sent said that he was going to send it to Hollywood and shop around for a distributor. The complete response he sent is:
Dr. Tesch said:
Thank you for your email. We have good news because we are finishing the movie this week in the studios. Next week I will fly to the American Film Market in California and will sell the global distribution rights to a distributor. By the end of November we will show the movie in some of the theaters and we will give you a further update. The production of this movie: Maradonia and the Shadow Empire took us over two years and wiped our finances nearly completely out but we think that the movie will be a success. Kindly Gerry
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So there you go, it doesn't mean he's any less delusional but he does believe that he's going through all the right steps. Problem is he's going to be in for a rude surprise when he gets there and finds out that it's not the billion dollar franchise that he's been salivating about for the longest time.

As I said near the start of all this what I see happening is they will finally get a direct to DVD thing set up as that's going to be the only people willing to put any kind of money into this. They will however rent out a theatre for the night, have a gala premiere complete with red carpet and champagne reception. Followed by a showing of the movie and then the after party at some banquet hall they rented for the night. And that's going to be it because nobody in their right mind wants to see another 7 Maradonia movies because nobody involved can act, direct or do principal cinematography.

The Tesches will then move onto the next phase of their plan to pimp out Glo Glo in some other market to make the millions of dollars they want or they'll just go back to grifting.
 
Phil Ken Sebben said:
They will however rent out a theatre for the night, have a gala premiere complete with red carpet and champagne reception. Followed by a showing of the movie and then the after party at some banquet hall they rented for the night.
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It's kind of a pity that they're probably going to have their premiere in either LA or Florida, while we Kiwis are scattered all throughout the US (and the rest of the world, for that matter). If it wouldn't require a plane flight, I would soo love to get a group together and try to attend the Maradonia premiere...
 
Muscle Bra said:
It's kind of a pity that they're probably going to have their premiere in either LA or Florida, while we Kiwis are scattered all throughout the US (and the rest of the world, for that matter). If it wouldn't require a plane flight, I would soo love to get a group together and try to attend the Maradonia premiere...
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...and for some reason, the movie premiere was accompanied by enthusiastic shouts of "JULAY JULAY JULLLAAAAYYYYYYY" from the audience.
 
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