💥 Trainwreck Gloria Tesch / Sofia Nova - Author of the Maradonia series turned Republithot

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Karen Riley said:
Also it's a shame how most threads on female cows can lead to in depth discussion of their looks and if one day they'll do porn or not. Gloria's actions are funny but over discussing whether or not you'd have sex with her doesn't work personally for me.
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Most male cows are also goofy looking as fuck enough to incite comments on their appearance. Generally about how fat they are, how likely they are to get diabetes, and their pedo glasses.

So I wouldn't count on it to stop.
 
No I was commenting that she didn't have enough clothes for a trip of any length...and the fish tail because fish stink and.... ah well fuck it. I guess i deserve it for always shitposting for bad ratings in here but I really wasn't trying that time.

Karen Riley said:
Also it's a shame how most threads on female cows can lead to in depth discussion of their looks and if one day they'll do porn or not. Gloria's actions are funny but over discussing whether or not you'd have sex with her doesn't work personally for me.
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We discuss male lolcows appearance all the time. In gloria's case she's putting her shit out there already. Plus she's poor and desperate. Plus she has aspirations of modeling and loves getting her picture taken around rich shit. Also she lives in a town where they make porn. Also i saw a video of her and one of her photographers and he was just about as creepy as they come. "This is gloooo-eeee-uuh and she is a mirrrrrr-maaaaid" with a big goofy grin on his face talking to her like she was a retarded child.
 
ChuckSlaughter said:
Also i saw a video of her and one of her photographers and he was just about as creepy as they come. "This is gloooo-eeee-uuh and she is a mirrrrrr-maaaaid" with a big goofy grin on his face talking to her like she was a retarded child.
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I seem to remember a few other posters referring to this video but I have never seen it. Does anyone have a link to it?
 
Muscle Bra said:
I seem to remember a few other posters referring to this video but I have never seen it. Does anyone have a link to it?
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Probably me talking about it, it was the only video she had that was even mildly interesting for that reason. It was somewhere on her instagram.
 
Where is the fucking movie, Gloria?

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The usual suspects.

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Mrs Paul said:
What is with her mermaid obsession? How many of those fake tails does she have?
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Pretty sure she just has the one, they're very expensive but if you have a nice one I guess it's cool to have a mermaid sitting around at bars and parties, i saw one at an aquarium. She seems to do pictures so maybe that's a thing too.
It looks like her mermaid tail is pretty functional so it's actually probably fun to use and it's a huge attention thing so it totally appeals to gloria.

Does anyone know how she got it? Wasn't it like over a grand?
 
Maybe the tail is real and her legs are fake?

When crossing the Atlantic ocean, Günter's airplane crashed and sank to the bottom of the sea, where he was discovered by a young sea princess on the day before her wedding to the King of Herrings, whom she didn't love at all. So in order to avoid that forced marriage, she instead cavorted with the German preacher, keeping him alive by magically modifying his lungs so he could breathe underwater.

But the sea princess's parents, King Poseidon and Queen Nereide, found out about this and weren't happy at all. They talked very sternly to their daughter and took her video games away for several days. Günter was tied to the back of a seahorse with a bag over his head, and it swam off with him, carrying him to the shore of Florida where he was rescued by a gaggle of old ladies who were doing water gymnastics at the beach and thought he was cute.

Some time later, when Günter was strolling next to the shore, suddenly the King of Herrings stuck his head out of the water. "This is yours!" he barked, throwing a large egg to Günter. "Take it and get lost!"

Günter took the egg home and placed it in a bowl full of seawater. After some days it cracked, revealing an infant mermaid.

At first, Günter kept the creature in the sink and fed it shrimp. He didn't feel too well about all this, because of God and Jesus and merpeople being soulless heathens. But the mermaid grew until he had to put it in the bathtub. He taught it to talk and read using fantasy paperbacks and religious videos.

At some time, the mermaid said: "I want to be a highschool girl like human girls my age! It's so boring in this bathtub day after day." So Günter thought a bit and finally bought two artificial legs from a dubious Chinese internet retailer. One of the legs was to be put over the mermaid tail, the other one got glued on at the side to create the illusion of a bipedal human.

In order to keep his life's greatest sin secret, Günter fabricated the story that Gloria (as he'd decided to call his mermaid) was an ordinary human girl, and her mermaid tail was artificial, while in reality it's the other way round. And because such posts always get voted "autistic", the truth will never come to light. This shows that my story isn't a fairy tale but very real, because in fairy tales the good side always wins.
 
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