💥 Trainwreck Gloria Tesch / Sofia Nova - Author of the Maradonia series turned Republithot

[Seinor_IRL]

That is pretty awesome, good one for the wiki. Is there a website or archive that you got that from?

That's from her wordpress website / former blog, before she stopped updating it in 2014. It's full of the narcisstic, ego-driven gems and anecdotes from our favorite spoiled brat: https://gloriatesch.wordpress.com

My personal favorite is a post from January 2012 entitled "Mediocre and Cheap Generation" where she berates this current generation saying:

Reality shows such as “Jersey Shore” portray continuous partying, drinking, and promiscuity as the only way to have fun. As young teenagers see this, they begin to make the wrong decisions and revolve their lives around idols of luxury. Our young generation, raised on reality garbage, now believes that they are ‘adults’ having teen sex, drinking, consuming drugs, etc.

LORD JESUS. OH MY GOD.

I genuinely wonder if there are ever moments where she stops and just thinks about what has happened in her life. Or, this was written about 3-4 years ago, so maybe her views have changed.

 

[XH 502]

I genuinely wonder if there are ever moments where she stops and just thinks about what has happened in her life. Or, this was written about 3-4 years ago, so maybe her views have changed.

The writing style doesn't read like Gloria's, though. I'm guessing one of two things:

1. She copy/pasted from another article
2. Grandpa Tesch wrote it

Considering her tendency to blatantly steal common Google search photos and pass them off as her own, my money is on the first one.

 

[melty]

Alright I don't want to make another post but I did find some more fakes and also uploaded suspected fakes to the Gloria article thread in case anyone wants to do their own detective work. Most notably, I uncovered a new fake that she tagged and set location as a resort in California when it is actually a stock photo from a resort in Florida. It is reasonable to suspect that most of these supposed vacation spots she posts on instagram, she doesn't actually go to, as there have been several stolen "vacation" photos so far with no proof she actually left Florida.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/gloria-tesch-article.12761/#post-997199

 

[Peace and Harmony]

I like the art and the artwork in the Art District!

 

[MysticMisty]

I'm still waiting for the Nevermind That video... which was supposed to be out a year and a half ago...

And she said she'd release Convertible this month and so far, nothing.

It's all part of the con. Release a few pictures and a sound clip, talk about your brand new music video, then delay indefinitely. It gives the impression of fame and perhaps even money without actually having to do anything. So Gloria and father Tesch hope.

 

[TrippinKahlua]

Gloria, if everybody wants you, why isn't anybody calling?

 

[For The Internet]

Alright I don't want to make another post but I did find some more fakes and also uploaded suspected fakes to the Gloria article thread in case anyone wants to do their own detective work. Most notably, I uncovered a new fake that she tagged and set location as a resort in California when it is actually a stock photo from a resort in Florida. It is reasonable to suspect that most of these supposed vacation spots she posts on instagram, she doesn't actually go to, as there have been several stolen "vacation" photos so far with no proof she actually left Florida.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/gloria-tesch-article.12761/#post-997199

Personally, I really find this interesting and I appreciate your detective work because I'm too lazy to reverse google Gloria's shit. This stuff should definitely go on her lolcow wiki page when it's finalised. I think it works if you give updates and link back to a master post with all the images themselves.


Basically, Maradonia: The Movie is in what's know as 'development hell', which is when a movie is in development for ages. Very occasionally movies stuck in development hell do get finished and released, and those films are almost never very successful for many reasons, such as fanbase losing interest, rushed filming/editing, limited promotion. A few examples of movies in that state that were eventually released from development hell are Alien vs Predator, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Freddy vs Jason (as much as it pains me to say) and Dragonball Evolution. All of them would have undoubtedly done better if they'd been released when there was the most demand for them and if they hadn't had to be somewhat rushed. Well, except for Evolution. That movie was never going to be good no matter what.

The longer this shit drags on, the more remote the chances of the 'film' seeing the light of day become. Gloria needs to hustle harder so they can finish it and some glorious bastard can bootleg the internet a copy.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

I like the art and the artwork in the Art District!

View attachment 50940

You know, I dunno about this one. I mean, it would almost look good, except for the idea behind the pose and facial expression seems to be "Hey, Gloria!" "Huh?!". It's like she wasn't expecting it, or didn't know where to look. Plus, dat skirt. I mean, how does she move her legs? Or did they just pick her up and cart her wherever they wanted to shoot?

 

[Chan the Wizard]

That photo looks like it was vomited directly out of the late 80s or early 90s.

 

[tarni]

I like the art and the artwork in the Art District!

View attachment 50940

Those commenters are bots, yes? They must be.
Same shit every. single. time.

 

[DykesDykesChina]

Some more Günter Tesch research -- Germany's musical answer to Jack T. Chick...

Spoiler

http://www.bensound-musikshop.com/german-gospel/solisten-german/günter-tesch/
He somewhat looks similar to his daughter, their faces have the same shape.

https://mischalke04.wordpress.com/2008/03/06/gunter-tesch-meinst-du-wirklich-1970/
"Meinst du wirklich" = "do you really think so"
"The Woman" refers to the woman at the well from the Gospel of John.

"Hinter den Kulissen" = behind the scenes. An (autobiographical??) book by Günter.

“Rhythm! Beat! Ecstasy! Colourful impressions of the world of the stage. Swinging and full of suspense. In the language of our times. Free of Illusions and realistic. Meeting celebrated idols, loose girls, tough guys and drug dealers. And then he meets Jesus Christ…”

http://www.shakespeare-and-more.com/catalog/günter-tesch-sonne-über-maramon-p-1841.html
"Sun over Maramon"
Another literary jewel. This time, about how he went with his "Evangelistic Team" to India to convert the heathens.
Gloria claims that "Maramon" inspired the name "Maradonia".

https://www.christ-und-buch.de/wähle-zwischen-tod-und-leben-günter-tesch
"Choose between life or death"
A guide on how to witness to unbelievers.

http://impishidea.com/spork/law-of-blood-spork-pt-7-the-decoy-graveyard#c013644
Günter now and then.
Sort of like Tomgirl CWC vs Classic CWC.

http://www.amazon.com/One-Minute-God-Gunter-Tesch/dp/B000PGOE1K
He also published in English.
(BTW if you want to spell an Umlaut such as "ü" in Günter and you don't want to or can't use that character, you may spell it "ue" -- or, analogous, ä = "ae", ö = "oe". That's what the little dashes above the character originally meant.)

From the Amazon page:
Here is a book tht will give you a message of hope and inspiration for each day of the year. ONE MINUTE WITH GOD is a fascinating series of brief messages based on the words of Jesus as recorded in the Gospel of Matthew. Doctor Tesch, with crisp clarity, relates these life giving words to the hard realities of contemporary life. You will find here a study of devotional jewels that will brighten the moments of your day!

http://www.discogs.com/Evangelistic-Team-Ein-Abend-Mit-Dem-Evangelistic-Team/release/3734022
"An evening with the Evangelistic Team."
Well, it's probably way better than an evening with these people who pretend their realdolls are alive...

 

[tarni]

Some more Günter Tesch research -- Germany's musical answer to Jack T. Chick...

Spoiler

http://www.bensound-musikshop.com/german-gospel/solisten-german/günter-tesch/
He somewhat looks similar to his daughter, their faces have the same shape.

https://mischalke04.wordpress.com/2008/03/06/gunter-tesch-meinst-du-wirklich-1970/
"Meinst du wirklich" = "do you really think so"
"The Woman" refers to the woman at the well from the Gospel of John.

"Hinter den Kulissen" = behind the scenes. An (autobiographical??) book by Günter.

“Rhythm! Beat! Ecstasy! Colourful impressions of the world of the stage. Swinging and full of suspense. In the language of our times. Free of Illusions and realistic. Meeting celebrated idols, loose girls, tough guys and drug dealers. And then he meets Jesus Christ…”

http://www.shakespeare-and-more.com/catalog/günter-tesch-sonne-über-maramon-p-1841.html
"Sun over Maramon"
Another literary jewel. This time, about how he went with his "Evangelistic Team" to India to convert the heathens.
Gloria claims that "Maramon" inspired the name "Maradonia".

https://www.christ-und-buch.de/wähle-zwischen-tod-und-leben-günter-tesch
"Choose between life or death"
A guide on how to witness to unbelievers.

http://impishidea.com/spork/law-of-blood-spork-pt-7-the-decoy-graveyard#c013644
Günter now and then.
Sort of like Tomgirl CWC vs Classic CWC.

http://www.amazon.com/One-Minute-God-Gunter-Tesch/dp/B000PGOE1K
He also published in English.
(BTW if you want to spell an Umlaut such as "ü" in Günter and you don't want to or can't use that character, you may spell it "ue" -- or, analogous, ä = "ae", ö = "oe". That's what the little dashes above the character originally meant.)

From the Amazon page:
Here is a book tht will give you a message of hope and inspiration for each day of the year. ONE MINUTE WITH GOD is a fascinating series of brief messages based on the words of Jesus as recorded in the Gospel of Matthew. Doctor Tesch, with crisp clarity, relates these life giving words to the hard realities of contemporary life. You will find here a study of devotional jewels that will brighten the moments of your day!

http://www.discogs.com/Evangelistic-Team-Ein-Abend-Mit-Dem-Evangelistic-Team/release/3734022
"An evening with the Evangelistic Team."
Well, it's probably way better than an evening with these people who pretend their realdolls are alive...

Man I've been trying to find out more about his convictions but all I get is that stupid Sonnenbuch you mentioned

How unique is a name like 'Günter Tesch'?

Gloria's mother is of Eastern European descent, right?

There seems to have been a Stasi - member by that name:

http://berndpulch.org/2011/11/23/st...-t-ti-stasi-names-in-alphabetical-order-t-ti/

 

[millais]

Some more Günter Tesch research -- Germany's musical answer to Jack T. Chick...

Spoiler

http://www.bensound-musikshop.com/german-gospel/solisten-german/günter-tesch/
He somewhat looks similar to his daughter, their faces have the same shape.

https://mischalke04.wordpress.com/2008/03/06/gunter-tesch-meinst-du-wirklich-1970/
"Meinst du wirklich" = "do you really think so"
"The Woman" refers to the woman at the well from the Gospel of John.

"Hinter den Kulissen" = behind the scenes. An (autobiographical??) book by Günter.

“Rhythm! Beat! Ecstasy! Colourful impressions of the world of the stage. Swinging and full of suspense. In the language of our times. Free of Illusions and realistic. Meeting celebrated idols, loose girls, tough guys and drug dealers. And then he meets Jesus Christ…”

http://www.shakespeare-and-more.com/catalog/günter-tesch-sonne-über-maramon-p-1841.html
"Sun over Maramon"
Another literary jewel. This time, about how he went with his "Evangelistic Team" to India to convert the heathens.
Gloria claims that "Maramon" inspired the name "Maradonia".

https://www.christ-und-buch.de/wähle-zwischen-tod-und-leben-günter-tesch
"Choose between life or death"
A guide on how to witness to unbelievers.

http://impishidea.com/spork/law-of-blood-spork-pt-7-the-decoy-graveyard#c013644
Günter now and then.
Sort of like Tomgirl CWC vs Classic CWC.

http://www.amazon.com/One-Minute-God-Gunter-Tesch/dp/B000PGOE1K
He also published in English.
(BTW if you want to spell an Umlaut such as "ü" in Günter and you don't want to or can't use that character, you may spell it "ue" -- or, analogous, ä = "ae", ö = "oe". That's what the little dashes above the character originally meant.)

From the Amazon page:
Here is a book tht will give you a message of hope and inspiration for each day of the year. ONE MINUTE WITH GOD is a fascinating series of brief messages based on the words of Jesus as recorded in the Gospel of Matthew. Doctor Tesch, with crisp clarity, relates these life giving words to the hard realities of contemporary life. You will find here a study of devotional jewels that will brighten the moments of your day!

http://www.discogs.com/Evangelistic-Team-Ein-Abend-Mit-Dem-Evangelistic-Team/release/3734022
"An evening with the Evangelistic Team."
Well, it's probably way better than an evening with these people who pretend their realdolls are alive...

Nice find! The horse face and awkwardly forced smile is evidently a hereditary trait.

 

[Le Bateleur]

How unique is a name like 'Günter Tesch'?

Gloria's mother is of Eastern European descent, right?

There seems to have been a Stasi - member by that name:

http://berndpulch.org/2011/11/23/st...-t-ti-stasi-names-in-alphabetical-order-t-ti/

Gloria's mother is Russian, as far as I know. She speaks and "raps" in Russian in some of her videos.

 

[captkrisma]

http://imgur.com/MP1BCKa

Anybody else draw a connection between Gunther and Creed? Both played guitar, and both have a shady past (granted, Creed's is MOSTLY lampooned in "The Office", but still).

Gloria seems to live her life like every kid that was force-fed religion when they were growing up. Nice and conservative in front of their parents, motorcycle pin-ups and shitty rappers when they're gone...well not EVERY kid...

 

[DykesDykesChina]

How unique is a name like 'Günter Tesch'?

It's actually not very unique. "Günter" -- sometimes spelled "Günther" -- is very run of the mill. "Tesch" is a bit more unusual, but not insanely unusual... if not for Gloria, I wouldn't think twice if I met somebody with that last name.

There was a Nazi called Günther Tesch.

 

[Artard]

How unique is a name like 'Günter Tesch'?

Gloria's mother is of Eastern European descent, right?

There seems to have been a Stasi - member by that name:

http://berndpulch.org/2011/11/23/st...-t-ti-stasi-names-in-alphabetical-order-t-ti/

I actually know something about this.

Spoiler: Stasi sperging

It's from a large text file that became the center of a celebrated internet case in Germany, in which a victim of the Stasi was accused and possibly charged with violating the privacy rights of the people on the list.

This is the Günter Tesch record:

051048417440;98;20;00;;TESCH, GUENTER:;;;23760,00

From what I recall, the first number is the former East Germany's ID # assigned to every citizen. The first six digits of that number consist of the date of birth in dd/mm/yy format. So if Günter was born in October 1948, well, the odds are more narrow.

The meaning of the list is disputed. I do not think it's the same person.

 

[DykesDykesChina]

I'm pretty sure the Günter Tesch we're talking about hails from (former) West Germany. He claims to have been involved in the redlight/entertainment district of Hamburg (which is in the former West), and his "Evangelistic Team" was based there.

Also, someone so adamant about his Christianity would have had a very hard time in the GDR, since religion was seen as an opposing force to Marxism-Leninism. (though for this reason this would arguably have been an ideal disguise for a Stasi member)

 

[FatNero]

MOVIE'S NOT DEAD!!!

https://youtube.com/watch?v=4AIEWyOENVw
Closing shot of a grasshopper's ass really clinches the excitement.

I'm super excited for the release that will have all the cobbled together styles from all the different cinematographers they conned into making 1/29th of the movie. Oh and the changing actors in each roll every other scene. That'll be great.

 

[trip2themoon]

Some more Günter Tesch research -- Germany's musical answer to Jack T. Chick...

Spoiler

http://www.bensound-musikshop.com/german-gospel/solisten-german/günter-tesch/
He somewhat looks similar to his daughter, their faces have the same shape.

https://mischalke04.wordpress.com/2008/03/06/gunter-tesch-meinst-du-wirklich-1970/
"Meinst du wirklich" = "do you really think so"
"The Woman" refers to the woman at the well from the Gospel of John.

"Hinter den Kulissen" = behind the scenes. An (autobiographical??) book by Günter.

“Rhythm! Beat! Ecstasy! Colourful impressions of the world of the stage. Swinging and full of suspense. In the language of our times. Free of Illusions and realistic. Meeting celebrated idols, loose girls, tough guys and drug dealers. And then he meets Jesus Christ…”

http://www.shakespeare-and-more.com/catalog/günter-tesch-sonne-über-maramon-p-1841.html
"Sun over Maramon"
Another literary jewel. This time, about how he went with his "Evangelistic Team" to India to convert the heathens.
Gloria claims that "Maramon" inspired the name "Maradonia".

https://www.christ-und-buch.de/wähle-zwischen-tod-und-leben-günter-tesch
"Choose between life or death"
A guide on how to witness to unbelievers.

http://impishidea.com/spork/law-of-blood-spork-pt-7-the-decoy-graveyard#c013644
Günter now and then.
Sort of like Tomgirl CWC vs Classic CWC.

http://www.amazon.com/One-Minute-God-Gunter-Tesch/dp/B000PGOE1K
He also published in English.
(BTW if you want to spell an Umlaut such as "ü" in Günter and you don't want to or can't use that character, you may spell it "ue" -- or, analogous, ä = "ae", ö = "oe". That's what the little dashes above the character originally meant.)

From the Amazon page:
Here is a book tht will give you a message of hope and inspiration for each day of the year. ONE MINUTE WITH GOD is a fascinating series of brief messages based on the words of Jesus as recorded in the Gospel of Matthew. Doctor Tesch, with crisp clarity, relates these life giving words to the hard realities of contemporary life. You will find here a study of devotional jewels that will brighten the moments of your day!

http://www.discogs.com/Evangelistic-Team-Ein-Abend-Mit-Dem-Evangelistic-Team/release/3734022
"An evening with the Evangelistic Team."
Well, it's probably way better than an evening with these people who pretend their realdolls are alive...

Gloria looks like a young version of her dad. Hefty case of man face. That merry band of sycophants and desperates she has following her every picture upload really are a sad bunch. She's a million miles from being beautiful. If she didn't have a decent body no one would look twice at her. I wonder what goes through their heads when they post their suck up messages. Stroking the ego of an already swollen head. Sad, sad, sad.