🐟 Fishtank Fishtank.Live General - Jet Neptune's Pisces Aquarium Internet Reality Show w/ Host Bam Margera

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Official KF Fishtank livechat here!

With a (questionable) W from James Drake, how would you rate season 5 of Fishtank?

  • 1 Star — Absolute disaster. Unwatchable, boring, production fucked it up bad, the fish were lame

    Votes: 62 7.8%

  • 2 Stars — Pretty bad. Some funny moments, dragged, too many vibe repair days. Barely worth checking.

    Votes: 93 11.7%

  • 3 Stars — Average. Solid entertainment in spots, some good chaos and crashouts, but nothing special

    Votes: 180 22.6%

  • 4 Stars — Really good. Lots of hilarious moments, strong fish personalities, solid content and vibes

    Votes: 412 51.6%

  • 5 Stars — Peak Fishtank / Masterpiece. Non-stop insanity, legendary fish and production, pure chaos

    Votes: 51 6.4%
  • Total voters
    798
stink rink said:
Devious Shark Tank Challenge Part 1
Day 35 12:00 PM
The Fish have to keep moving at all times.
View attachment 5132559

  • Chat keeps pointing out how Letty stops walking sometimes
  • Fish are dead silent
  • It's a slow burn nail biter like The Shining, trust me guys
  • Yet another masterpiece of absurdist comedy from Jet Neptune
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TBH it's not a bad challenge per se, I think it would have made more sense when there were more fish and less room to move around. Right now there's enough room where they aren't in danger of bumping into each other and stopping.
 
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At this point I can't really tell what's gonna happen anymore so when Sam posts something like this I start casting bones about how maybe this means Vance will be out. But it doesn't mean anything, idk.
 
I think a fun challenge idea would be:
  • Get face shields and paintball markers
  • Chrono the markers to the knife-edge of painful, but relatively safe
  • Assign each fish some health points
  • Each paint mark removes a health point
  • Last fish standing wins the challenge
Why?
  • This causes reasonable discomfort or safe amout of outright pain to the fish which would test their dedication to winning
  • As a bonus it causes ostensible damage to the house (paintballs are washable and probably wouldn't do much if any real damage to the walls but seeing splattered paint everywhere would be kino)
That's on the house Jet. You can have that idea at no charge. Courtesy of the "doxxing weirdos" who never actually doxxed you.

But, wait, you know what's even more exciting?
Walking around quietly....
 
Surprised to say, but man, I actually really liked Alex Stein in the Tank. Too bad he and Dontarius were only supposed to be in there for two days were kicked out because Alex's wife's boyfriend couldn't help himself from smoking some crack rock. The fake outrage bits were pretty cringe because he was overly hamming it up (though I laughed out loud when Jet busted Dontarius and Alex yelled "he's a homeless man, it's medicinal crack"), but other than that it seemed like when he was around, he was actually able to have real conversations with the fishes because he was the only one in the house with an actual personality and not autistic/retarded. The fishes also seemed legitimately sad that he left so early and even said something self-aware to the effect of "it's going to be a boring house now that he is gone". It became pretty evident like 10 minutes later when Letty tried to get a conversation going by asking Vance and Josie about what their home states are known and Vance wouldn't formulate a sentence longer than a word and Josie was pretty much only like "erm...it's pretty hot there".

Now they're quietly walking around the living room in silence (even TTS isn't on) and the last one to stop walking is immune from elimination this week. Really riveting content from the brilliant mind of Jet Neptune.
 
Letty keeps trying to make this interesting but Vance and Josie don't say shit and just keep walking in silence.

I miss Jon, he would have not only talked non-stop, but he would have found a way to make everyone suffer and somehow made them stop walking.
 
Someone (in reality, only Vance has the strength) should pull that big ass couch corner piece in front of others in an attempt to trip them up as they're passing by, but I guess everybody is too much of a brainlet to start throwing furniture around to mess with others and are completely content with simply walking it out for the entire day.
zzz.png
 
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Devil's Avocado said:
Someone (in reality, only Vance has the strength) should pull that big ass couch corner piece in front of others in an attempt to trip them up as they're passing by, but I guess everybody is too much of a brainlet to start throwing furniture around to mess with others and are completely content with simply walking it out for the entire day.
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If Jon was still here, he would have waited until someone was walking behind him, then throw down the trash can to make them stop.
 
I hate to say it, but I wish Sylvia was here for this challenge. She would be tuckered out after two laps and afterwards she'd be fucked with mercilessly.
 
eaglesfan665 said:
I quickly crunched the numbers and just from the top 15 donators, assuming they all bought their tokens in 6400 token packs for $499 (which is a simplification because of course they didnt), the tokens donated add up to around $269K. @Blackstar in the chat also mentioned that, with the merch sales, they at least doubled that money. Overall seems to have been a pretty profitable venture for Sam Hyde and the crew.
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What are your assumptions about the cost of the house itself, including repairs?
 
CoolFool said:
Not trying to sound like a judgmental dick, but Betty just screams "liability".
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Yeah that was my read on the situation as well. Jet though it would be funny to have a slightly crazy woman mess with Letty. Then after her drunken escapades he realized he got exactly what he wanted in the worst way.
 
On Twatter, someone's claiming that Betty is spamming on 4chan that Sam is fucking Letty. I have no idea how Twatter/4chan works so I have no idea how anyone can "tell" that it's her and not some random troll pretending to be her. Here's the tweet, maybe someone else can explain:


In other news, Jet is now telling some story. It's so boring I have no idea what he's talking about anymore tbh. The fish seem to be walking slower.

Edit: I think Vance and Letty are both feeling tired. Vance keeps putting his hands on his hips/head and keeps stepping weirdly,. Letty keeps touching the counter or swinging her arms like she's trying to propel herself forward. She also keeps looking down like she's trying to make sure she's actually walking. Both are walking slower. Josie seems more or less fine.

Yes, I am bored at work, how could you tell?
 
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CoolFool said:
On Twatter, someone's claiming that Betty is spamming on 4chan that Sam is fucking Letty. I have no idea how Twatter/4chan works so I have no idea how anyone can "tell" that it's her and not some random troll pretending to be her. Here's the tweet, maybe someone else can explain:


In other news, Jet is now telling some story. It's so boring I have no idea what he's talking about anymore tbh. The fish seem to be walking slower.
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the claim in from that user is that because her account name doesn't show up when she replies to herself, it's her own screenshot of her own tweet.
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no idea how true this is, need a real twitter addict to confirm.
 
Punitive Castration said:
Frank told Letty he used to live in the house back in the day when he was working with Sam. I think Sam just owns it, or something like that.
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yea after it got doxed i saw someone post the owners info and it was like fishtank llc. i was wondering if they where just renting until that.

on 2nd thought the next freeloader should be someone pretending to be the new owner saying jayson sold the house to pay for the prize money. and make them clean it up / renovate/fuck up random shit.

or they should just have an open house with the house looking like it is, they could just fake it with actors or do it for real.
 
Letty keeps trying to get these fish to talk and DO SOMETHIG...

Letty: Josie?

Josie: What?

Letty: Keep walking if you want to kiss me~

*Josie keeps walking obviously*

Letty: OHH!! Josie, you're still walking!

Josie and Vance say nothing, as per usual. This would be the perfect time for Josie or Vance to give their own joke ("Letty, keep walking if you want to fuck Chris") but nope, these boring fish just keep on being boring and say nothing. This is after Jet and Ben both told them they're being boring.

Edit: TTS: Keep walking if you're attracted to dogs

Letty: Well, I am a white woman...
 
I know it may be shocking that the woman who showed her little tits for no gain may be a bit of an attention whore but it really seems like shes just trying to stir shit up even if you don't believe she posted that on /tv/ herself.
That being said even thought I don't believe it happened it would be hilarious if Sam spent the last few years being an aspirational edaddy for a specific type of online loser, then he fucked a NEET piss goblin. Personally knowing what we know about Sam I think she's a bit old for him.
 
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