Disaster Fearless seagull injures diner in hash brown attack

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https://www.metro.news/mcburglar-fearless-seagull-injures-diner-in-hash-brown-attack/1168524/

A SHOPPER had her lip torn open by a hungry seagull as she tucked into a McDonald’s hash brown.

The food-crazed bird swooped as Laura Morgan, 32, took a bite out of the piping hot breakfast snack.

It struck her across the head with its huge wing before making a dive for the hash brown, sinking its beak into Laura’s lip.

Luckily she managed to cling on to her breakfast but was left bruised with a bloody mouth.

Laura said: ‘It must have been large, I thought someone had just assaulted me.

‘I had no idea it was a gull at first, I thought I had been punched.

‘I didn’t actually even get to see the bird. It was all over so fast.

‘I was in shock, it actually went into my mouth.’

Laura, from Clacton-on-Sea, Essex, had just bought the 79p hash brown when the bird seized its moment to strike on Tuesday morning.

The nursery practitioner grabs breakfast from the fast food chain every Tuesday, before going to meet her 82-year-old grandmother to help her with shopping.

Laura had spotted gulls eyeing her up before but said this is the first time she had been attacked.

She said: ‘My nan couldn’t quite believe it when she saw me.

‘I am laughing about it now but what if it had got me in the eye?

‘People need to be aware they are about and can do this sort of thing.

‘Whenever I’m getting a McDonald’s, I can see them following me.’

Following the attack, Laura visited a nearby pharmacist who advised her to go to her doctors.

She was treated with antibiotics and mouthwash at the minor injuries unit at Clacton Hospital, where she says she caused quite a stir with the doctors.

She said: ‘It got a lot of interest, the doctors were discussing it amongst themselves.

‘Of course, my friends were all laughing at me.’

In 2015, four-year-old James Bryce suffered a badly gashed finger when a seagull swooped down and swiped the sausage roll he was eating.

It followed an attack on Rebecca Harrison, 13, who was mobbed by seagulls for her Greggs steak bake.

The Royal Society for the Protection of Birds advises the best defence against seagulls is to raise your arms to protect your head and then move away.

They say people should keep food hidden or covered as much as possible and take it out only to eat it.
 
Seagulls are fucking legends

I punched a seagull once when it tried to nick my kebab, it's my go-to story whenever I'm bragging about my unnecessary cruelty to animals (the seagull was okay don't worry)
 
The filter makes this story even better.
 
Wait, I thought c0ke zee-ro filtered to coke zero, not hash b r o w n.
 
Seagulls are fucking legends

I punched a seagull once when it tried to nick my kebab, it's my go-to story whenever I'm bragging about my unnecessary cruelty to animals (the seagull was okay don't worry)
FUCK seagulls. They're the kebabs of birds.
 
Their beaks are really sharp. I was at Sea World once and they got those little feeder fish to throw at the caged aquatic life and right when I was about to throw a fish this nasty white rat with wings snagged the fish and my finger, ripping it right open. I think maybe they sharpen them on rocks or something.

LOL...

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Fuck seagulls. Nigger birds of the world. They're all about gibsmedats and stealing shit. Here's a video I laugh my ass off to when I hear about seagulls. Also hashbrowns is now big black dick?

 
Seagulls are rats with wings. There needs to be a hunting season on the little shits.
 
Seagulls are fucking legends

I punched a seagull once when it tried to nick my kebab, it's my go-to story whenever I'm bragging about my unnecessary cruelty to animals (the seagull was okay don't worry)
I accidentally hit one in my van once when I was working on site. It swooped down, got caught in the vortex of the car in front of me and was basically sucked into the path of my van, I hit it, and it flopped onto the road and the car behind me ran it over.
I felt bad about it because I don't like killing things unless I have to, but it was a seagull at the end of the day.

It was a less annoying bird-hit than the pigeon that hit my windscreen at 80mph and exploded into blood and feathers and I had to spend half an hour at the next service station scraping that shit off my paintwork
 
What is the word that’s getting filtered?please be gentle with me I have au.tism.
 
What is the word that’s getting filtered?please be gentle with me I have au.tism.
h.ash br.owns.

One of the first posts I wrote involved a recipe for meatloaf packed with hb's, and I hadn't encountered the filter at that point. Needless to say when I saw my post I was a mite startled, then annoyed, then I laughed for a good five minutes.
 
It’s the fact she didn’t drop the food that cracks me up. She fought a seagull for a 79p McDonalds potato product.

I have also been relieved of my bag of chips as a young’un by a seagull in Morecambe Bay. It was quite hilarious. Airborne mugging.
 
Don't insult rats like this.

Domesticated rats can be relatively cute and decent pets, but seagulls can never be redeemed.
I was about to say that same thing. Same when people insult pigs by comparing unpleasant fucks to them. Pigs are smart animals.

Only thing worse than seagulls are Canadian geese.
Shoot them all, send them back to their father, Satan.

Just like niggers and other dumb shit animals that are pests.

It’s the fact she didn’t drop the food that cracks me up. She fought a seagull for a 79p McDonalds potato product.

I have also been relieved of my bag of chips as a young’un by a seagull in Morecambe Bay. It was quite hilarious. Airborne mugging.
Fuck that, what's mine is mine. You wanna take it from me? I'll shoot you to protect my shit. I sweated, bled, toiled, and cried for what I have in my life. I'll be damned if some feathered fucker steals my hash browns! I love eating hash browns! I LOVE HASH BROWNS!
 
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