🐮 Lolcow Evangelist Dr. Robert McKim, Sr. - Carrollton, Ohio: crazy preacher, "doxing is illegal!!!" Apocalypse bacon. BISEXUAL. Downs Syndrome, wears PAJAMAS to church

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Dirty Harry said:
It would be fun to read a Kiwifarms written obituary for Dr. Blob, Bob
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Here lies evangelist doctor robert mckim, loved by no one, not even himself.
He had a PhD in slothfulness, gluttony, adultery, thievery, lust, and envy. He's basically the villain from se7en, only far less interesting.
He leaves behind a faux wife, but a real criminal, and children he had nothing to do with. More important to the good doctor, was the 63 lbs of various cured meats he had stolen from various food banks to ensure he and his fake wife experienced their nightly orgasmic meat sweats.
Long story short, the world added by subtraction. Farewell Dr Blob, says no one.
 
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Robert (Slob) Mckim, 58, of Shitstain, Ohio, passed away violently in his sleep Saturday night.
It seems that he regurgitated 5 pounds of bacon because his head wasn't properly elivated.
John Walters, the local Carrollton veterinarian, will be performing the autopsy to determine the exact cause of death.

Bob was aborted by his parents in November of 1964 yet somehow survived and led a completely unproductive life.

He attended special education classes in several schools in Ohio while growing up and failed to learn how to read, write, and speak properly. His biggest accomplishment in school was getting "beat up" a record 312 days in a row after school, which is a record that still stands today.
Bob had no other education.

Bob never held a job for more than a couple of weeks other than being a 27 year old paper boy.

His hobbies included picking his nose, lighting fires around Carrollton, stealing rolled roofing from the Amish, and hoarding food meant for the truly needy.

In the last 40 years, Bob has stolen millions of dollars from the taxpayers of Ohio due to his unwillingness to work.

Bob married Barb Kedigh, who
became so disgusted with him as a man that she became a Lesbian and vowed never to look at another penis.
Together, they raised 2 sons, 1st and 2nd Timothy, although 2nd Tim was fathered by a real man, not Bob.

Per Bob's wishes, his body can be viewed at Don's Custom Meat Market, where he will hang with the rest of the salty meats.
Following the viewing, there will be a slow drive procession where "friends" and family can drive through the streets of Carrollton at 5 mph while screaming out their windows at other motorist, WE HAVE A CAM!!

For those not able to attend the funeral, there will be a live cast on Bob's camera, until the battery runs out.

Bob is survived by his paycheck, Rene Jackson, the Timothy brothers, and several grandchildren who were told years ago that Bob had died.

Bob was preceded in death by his father, Cliff Pallet; mother, Pat
and brother, the late great Mark (Lucky) Mckim.

Cash memorials should be made out to John Henry Andrews, who knows how to budget his money.

Good riddens, Bob. Say hi to Hitler.
 
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Looks like he’s been busy with wellness checks happening at his house. Hopefully it was about the hoarding situation going on there and the multiple fire hazards. FEC36BF0-68C2-4299-A6DA-8F191C3A4110.jpeg
 
crayolasword said:
Looks like he’s been busy with wellness checks happening at his house. Hopefully it was about the hoarding situation going on there and the multiple fire hazards. View attachment 4867288
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I hear that the local authorities are in the process of removing Rene from the horrible situation that she's been forced into.
Bob's not able to manage his own finances, let alone Rene's.
He feeds her a poor diet, forces her to remain idle in her chair, and spends her money on himself.
I've also know that he's been looking into purchasing life insurance on Rene so he can benefit when she's gone. Fortunately no one will insure her.
 
Dr. Long Story Short said:
He feeds her a poor diet, forces her to remain idle in her chair, and spends her money on himself.
I've also know that he's been looking into purchasing life insurance on Rene so he can benefit when she's gone. Fortunately no one will insure her.
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Believe it or not, Colonial Penn would but has a 2 year waiting period before you are eligible to collect. I don't think Bob would keep the payments up for 2 years nor would Rene live that long. It's a very expensive way to get life insurance though.
 
Dirty Harry said:
Believe it or not, Colonial Penn would but has a 2 year waiting period before you are eligible to collect. I don't think Bob would keep the payments up for 2 years nor would Rene live that long. It's a very expensive way to get life insurance though.
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Colonial Penn is a scam sold to imbeciles, so Bob and Rene may be candidates.
It used to piss me off when Alex Trebeck was pushing that shit on TV before he died.
 
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