💤 Inactive Ethan Ralph's New Guntmobile

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ColtWalker1847 said:
Single cab long box with a manual transmission!

That's the problem. He's all-terrain now. You thought he was too fat to get to you? Not any more.
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at least the huge “k” on the truck will be a distant warning so you can escape in time. ralph should instead get a sticker that says “killrisk” cause that’s what he is when he operates any motor vehicle

ralph also needs to stop saying he “bought” all these things. you took a predatory loan and tried to brag to the alogs about how much nissan of virginia are fans of the killstream and won’t stop blowing up your phone. which just further confirms that nissan always wants ralph as a customer because he’s retarded and will think that a 240 month financing plan is a GREAT DEAL

edit: also to avoid gunt collision you can move anywhere snowy. it will deter him easily
 
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Really Gunty, a fucking Nissan.Couldn't afford the couple of pennies extra for a Rav4? Oh well, at least it's not a Ford.
 
I can't wait for Gunt to wreck this vehicle too.
 
verifymejoshuaconnormoon said:
hopefully whoever is unfortunate to be hit by ralph has a bigger/stronger car to handle the impact. maybe a semi, uhaul, fedex truck...
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Ralph won't tense up because he'll be shit faced, so he'll walk away with a few owies. But the family of 8 in the minivan won't be so lucky. Then the Retort will be Abort and the Corn Demon will finally be appeased
 
thismanlies said:
I know people are giving him shit for this, but I'll go out of my way to gunt guard him for a second.

  • He sprung for the crew cab meaning he'll have room for the car seat... at least until he dumps May for the next woman that lets him knock her up.
  • He got the four wheel drive meaning he'd have to do something incredibly stupid to get stuck in another snow storm... which I won't put past him.
  • He bought a truck meaning he'll have some means of income by collecting scrap metal when the Killstream inevitably dies.
    • Plus he can livestream himself offroading which people will watch in the hopes of seeing him roll down a hill
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#TruckLife4Life videos are the next obvious step in the ongoing evolution of the Kill Report.
 
Lol he bought a fucking nissan truck, what a faggot.

If you're gonna buy a foreign made truck, everyone knows the Toyota Tacoma is where its at.
 
Sheryl Nome said:
Lol he bought a fucking nissan truck, what a faggot.
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It's been said a few times that Nissan is the car manufacturer of last resort as they'll gladly sign a predatory loan to retards with negative credit that last 10+ years. And much like the Poor Old Nigger Thought It A Cadillac of the old days, every dipshit with more wage garnishments than braincells buy these show room junkers and act like they're wheelers and dealers.
 
Harlan Wick said:
So how long until the truck dies or repo'd and Gunt's life becomes a cliched country song?
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Implying it isn't already?

1. Mama died
2. Crashed his car
3. Alcoholic
4. Been to jail
5. Has one kid out of wedlock and another on the way
6. Now owns a truck (that will only be hauling his gunt and his horse)
7. He has the stereotypical southern hick accent to wrap it all together in a nice, white trash package

Only thing missing is a mention of his dog dying, and no animal adoption agency in their right minds would allow Gunt to adopt a dog given his ahem...history with dogs.
 
So what are our betting pool options going to be?

Ralph’s truck gets:

Repo’d
Destroyed in crash
Lost after a DUI
Stolen by a melanin enriched future doctor/engineer
Paid off in full and handed down to demon child
Angrily returned by Ralph once he sees Karen farms dunking on him
 
verifymejoshuaconnormoon said:
he was probably inspired by dingo’s streams living out of his truck cause his house was foreclosed on. probably soon ralph will be so broke he’ll have no choice but to stream from his truck
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All while having a baby, a horse and probably having to pay child support.
Gunt's level of self-destruction is so high it's like a deliberate parody of wiggers.
 
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