🔗 Crossover Ethan Oliver Ralph vs Boogie2988 - Battle of the Gunts

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Surely this fight will happen, right?

  • You bet your gunt it will!

    Votes: 47 12.9%

  • When pigs can fly.

    Votes: 316 87.1%
  • Total voters
    363
Boogie is going to pull a million dollar baby scenario and get knocked out into a tipped over stool shattering his fake teeth
 
Fannyscum said:
Boogie and his doctor have laid out a roadmap of excuses:

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Boogie claims the high-road because he buys American (prostitutes):

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Boogie comes out swinging:
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Ralph and Boogie both channeling the same wrasslin' promos:
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Boogie still has smaller tits than Ralph. Boogie and the twitter cripples have a huge early lead in the online bantz:

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Boogie has a smaller Gunt, its not bifurcated, and he has two less tits than Ralph and they are smaller too.
It's probably cause he's a foot taller.
Boogie is heavier, but Ralph is fatter.
And Ralph is bitch made as fuck, he can't fight, the only problem I could see for Boogie is Ralph won't stay down willingly, he's too dumb, thats what got him beat so bad in Portugal I bet, he kept getting back up like he did to Dan, and probably spat at the Pimp too.
If Boogie can just learn how to connect properly he'll put Ralphs lights out.
Ralph can't fight, I've seen High School girls that would fucking body Ralph, he's weak.


I can't believe that faggot has me defending fucking Boogie 1488 of all people. I hate that suicide baiting fag but he would reck Ralph, not that this will go any further than shit talk.
 
The main question I have is this (assuming there’s a reality in which Ralph isn’t a total fat baby bitch and doesn’t pussy out):

When the fight happens, will Ralph have his gunt hanging/flying free over his waistband hiked up as far into the crevice as it will go, as per tradition, or will he finally bite the bullet and embrace the fat fuckness - go up 10 inches in waistband size and get shorts that completely encircle his big ol’ belly at waist level and TUCK. The. GUNT.
 
ManBearHog said:
The main question I have is this (assuming there’s a reality in which Ralph isn’t a total fat baby bitch and doesn’t pussy out):

When the fight happens, will Ralph have his gunt hanging/flying free over his waistband hiked up as far into the crevice as it will go, as per tradition, or will he finally bite the bullet and embrace the fat fuckness - go up 10 inches in waistband size and get shorts that completely encircle his big ol’ belly at waist level and TUCK. The. GUNT.
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I can't imagine a referee allowing a free-flying gunt.
 
Pill Cosby said:
I can't imagine a referee allowing a free-flying gunt.
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I think a free flying Gunt would be deemed a hazard to the audience, that thing flopping about, spraying Gunt sweat all over, would you want to be in the front row and risk getting a big jollop of Gunt slime in your eye?
Thats gonna cause infections.
 
The gunts will block out the sun.

Normally I'd just say the ragepig is hollering around as usual, because it's Ralph we're talking about, But this time? It's still mostly Ralph ragepigging, but both these two guys are attention whores who are desperate for cash. Deep down, no one cares what either of these two fat losers are up to, and the only reason this would get attention is because people want to laugh at two gunts flailing around the ring. Given that both need money, it works out perfectly for 'em.

...if the fight is happening at all, that is. I can see either gunt bitch out with some bullshit excuse. As long as they get the moneyzzz and attention, they're happy.
 
Now if we can get ALR and Chantal to be ring girls we'll have a good ol' fashion hog fight.
 
Kinda amusing that Boogie is the only person that Ralph thinks he can win against in a fight.
If, big If the fight happens before Boogie dies from diabetes or Ralph gets decapitated by some Based Mexican, I would put my money on the pig.. the 5,1 one.
 
R00T said:
Isn’t boogie a felon now? I thought felons couldn’t contact other felons.
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You're probably misinterpreting a law about like, seeking out an old crime partner to start doing crimes again. Banning felons from contact would be impossible to enforce and massively unconstitutional and would torpedo the restaurant, auto repair and construction industries as half of their employees would be forbidden from communication with each other.
iNEEDthatMoney said:
What's all this "cleared to fight" madness I'm hearing?
The fight can be held outside the U.S., so no pesky regulations.

The Rumble In the Jungle Part II, to be held in the Republic of Congo (formally Zaire).

Boogie bomaye!
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Doesn't Keem organize fights on the reg? Maybe he would get in shit with US officials if he was skirting regulations by having two guys they would never clear to fight for health reasons go to the third world to do it anyways.
Mr E. Grifter said:
I know a guy who does Muay Thai who I wouldn't want to fight, and he's a drug addled mess. I only ever see him when he's out of his mind, think he's 2-0. Obviously amateur, but still fuck fighting someone who could kick my head clean off my shoulders.

Coke as a drug isn't like Heroin, or meth or any of those types of drugs. It's bad for you, terrible in fact, but it's a drug people tend to binge on rather than requiring a constant supply of it. This means people can live fairly normal, productive lives whilst taking it. If your usage spirals, this façade becomes more difficult to maintain, but for a casual user it's not at all.

Boogie and Ralph are both in terrible shape, they are middle aged or fast approaching it, their bodies are breaking down and they have neglected to exercise for decades. They're the sort of men who can o my intimidate young women, which is exactly what they do...
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Most addicts who spiral on coke will switch to meth because it scratches the same itch but a gram of meth is 4-6x cheaper than a gram of coke, at which point they really start to spiral because the effects of coke last 2-3 hours whereas the effects of meth last multiple days.
 
There were a few Ralph vs. threads that I needed to reference for my shark divorce lawyer, anyone know where they went?
 
If boog is taking doctor perscribed T (x to doubt), and working out my money is on his twice fat heart exploding before a real fight happenes. And ralph will claim a 'victory'. Also boogs, VR sex still doesnt count.
 
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