Elliot Page / Ellen Page - Former actress, starred in Juno. Turned into a pooner and divorced her wife because being a lesbian was not boosting her career anymore. Receives a daily dose of asspatting from Hollywood. Likes to show off her "male" body using fake abdominals.

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There's no way they thought this was a good idea. Holy. Total ideological capature. No exec tried to pull the plug on this early on?

This is going to bomb. Outrage marketing can only get you so far. The people actually interested in Greek mythology are going to be Rudyard Lynch, chuddie types. This will have no audience.

She looks like a teenage girl. There is just no way this could work in any world.
 
NOXIN said:
Female pronouns are her Achilles' heel.
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As are beavers!
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General Emílio Médici said:
What really kills me isn't just that they chose a negress, it's that they also chose a ugly and boring negress. Are you telling me you couldn't find a single african KWEEN 10/10 with that much of a fucking budget? Literally just browse subsaharan Instagram for a few minutes and you can find a obsidian semen demon that would have made people believe a war could be fought over them.
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Agreed. Are they telling us they couldn't find some woman that looks like young Stacey Dash to play Helen if they just had to race swap her?
 
Sinner's Sandwich said:
Ellen is getting mocked on Xitter, times have truly changed! :story:

Nolan delivered a giant tranny L

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This one has over 11 milion views :lit:
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This has convinced me this movie may actually be good as long as you pirate it and treat it as an absurdist comedy.
Greek goes to war to rescue some random subsaharan qween, has a pooner lead their army, and finally after Odysseus makes it home through his treacherous journey, he meets with the local ganster rapper to have him compose some drill bars about the hits Odysseus made on the Trojans.
 
I think Ellen Page is as much of a turd as the rest of you do, but omg the headcannoning. Page didn't get molested by David Cage, I highly doubt the filming of Hard Candy had a serious psychological impact (younger actors are in movies involving more difficult topics dozens of times a year), @Toxic BRAAAAP Mask is a silly goose for implying that mo-cap filming of a dog attack was traumatizing, and tbh the Naughty Dog The Last of Us character did look a lot like her until the studio changed it in response.

@Nicholas II of Russia made a series of fantastic posts looking at each chapter of Page's book starting here in the thread if you're interested in how she ticks, big events in her life, and how her delusions led her to this point.

what's most important is that point and laugh at nolan's incredibly stupid decision to cast the little dood
 
General Emílio Médici said:
What really kills me isn't just that they chose a negress, it's that they also chose a ugly and boring negress. Are you telling me you couldn't find a single african KWEEN 10/10 with that much of a fucking budget? Literally just browse subsaharan Instagram for a few minutes and you can find a obsidian semen demon that would have made people believe a war could be fought over them.
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They could've picked Olandria Carthen from "Love Island."
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You might not like the Bratz lips but I can absolutely see men die for this African Queen.
 
Sinner's Sandwich said:
That was a rumor but it turns out 39 year old Ellen is playing EL Penor (pun intended)- the youngest member of Odysseu's crew. Suspension of disbelief only goes so far.
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Wikipedia -
"Elpenor was not especially notable for his intelligence or strength, but he survived the Trojan War, and appears in the Odyssey.
While Odysseus was staying on Aeaea, Circe's island, Elpenor became drunk and climbed onto the roof of Circe's palace to sleep. The next morning, waking upon hearing his comrades making preparations to travel to Hades, he forgot he was on the roof and fell, breaking his neck and dying. Odysseus and his men apparently noticed his absence, but they were too busy to look for him. When Odysseus arrived in Hades, Elpenor was the first shade to meet him, and pleaded with him to return to Aeaea and give his body a proper cremation and burial. After finishing his task in the underworld, Odysseus returned to Aeaea and cremated Elpenor's body, then buried his ashes with his armour and marked the grave with an oar of his ship."

How much you want to bet this is changed so that she he dies a heroic death in the Trojan War?
 
moocow said:
No fucking shit? Is that what did it? I can't imagine David Cage himself diddling her (he doesn't seem the "into women" type to me) but that would explain a few things if she got passed around at the studio there. Was this the game where her fully-nude model was found intact and uncensored in the game data? Maybe the artists produced that from memory rather than imagination. [shudder]
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IIRC, the main issue with that game was that David Cage apparently became somewhat obsessed with Ellen. He admitted to collecting hundreds of images of Ellen and putting them into a scrapbook for "inspiration" for his writer's block when he was trying to come up with a new game story. Cage told this to Kotaku, which is a cancerous site that I don't want to link to because it would require visiting Kotaku, but here's an article from some other random gaming site I found that cites the article with this particular telling quote:

According to the creepiest explanation of creative process I’ve heard in a while, David Cage told Kotaku that he didn’t know how to write the script for the game until he came upon a picture of Ellen Page. This later resulted in 12 months of work, 2000 pages of script and a studio scattered with images of Ellen from age 8 through adulthood.
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Article: https://www.criticalhit.net/gaming/david-cage-went-crazy-for-ellen-page/

So, yeah. Given that she absolutely found out about Cage's serial killer-esque photo montage (most likely after she accepted the job, but details are foggy on that part) and the fact that they had a fully-rendered nude model of Ellen in that game that you could see via freecam mods, I can see how that experience as a whole might push the needle on the Pooner Gauge™ a little further to the right. Not saying it's the event that pushed her over the edge since Beyond 2 Souls came out in like, 2014 or some shit, but it probably compounded things nonetheless.
 
Sinner's Sandwich said:
That was a rumor but it turns out 39 year old Ellen is playing EL Penor (pun intended)- the youngest member of Odysseu's crew. Suspension of disbelief only goes so far.
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This is hilarious, because I assume they cast her as that since they realized that they needed to explain why this manly dood was so tiny, but at the same time she's also a ragged woman approaching 40. You're seriously going to have this lil' dood next to well-built full grown men. It's going to look hilarious. It might end up being an unintentional comedy.

I never know which movies bomb or not in the box office, but who exactly is this movie targeting?
 
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Steak Tartare said:
I highly doubt the filming of Hard Candy had a serious psychological impact (younger actors are in movies involving more difficult topics dozens of times a year), @Toxic BRAAAAP Mask is a silly goose for implying that mo-cap filming of a dog attack was traumatizing, and tbh the Naughty Dog The Last of Us character did look a lot like her until the studio changed it in response.
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So after all you've read and know about Ellen and pooners in general you're gonna say Hard Candy didn't have any effect on her perception of men? Or that her work with creepoid David Cage and violent scenes didn't? The girl who said she had two stalkers, said American Crime which she filmed two years later was traumatizing, and whose every minor childhood discomfort was expounded upon in excruciating detail isn't going to treat those the same way? I don't know what to tell you then, pal, but I think they're pretty safe assumptions to make even if she embellished them to fanfic proportions so she could say she got called faggot a bunch.

Pink did a great mocking of the writing in her fanfic bio though:
pink cigarettes said:
"I am going to gay bash you and do a hate crime to you!" said the man to my hard dick. I ducked into a phone booth and when I leapt out was six feet tall and wearing a cape made out of sexy sweatpants. The man fell backwards off a chair like a cartoon character and disappeared. Suddenly I was surrounded by hot girls telling me we could all fuck all night with our hard dicks, queerly. I knew then that I was a big boy and had saved the day. The ghost of Matthew Shepherd winked at me from behind a cloud. The End."
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