E3 2019 / 2020 - 2020 Update - Dear God, they're going to make it worse.

  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account

Who is your E3 2019 husbando? (multiple choice allowed because we know you're a bunch of WHORES.)

  • Phil Spencer from Microsoft - so dreamy how he always looks like he's staring directly into the sun.

    Votes: 25 9.4%
  • Bethesda's Todd Howard - tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies.

    Votes: 122 45.7%
  • Devolver Digital, because I love being berated for half and hour and left bleeding in an alley.

    Votes: 58 21.7%
  • Ubisoft's Neverending, LSD-Fueled, Furry Orgy. I have no shame, bend me over Magenta Panda Daddy.

    Votes: 19 7.1%
  • Sqaure Enix and... who even presents this? Eh, doesn't matter. It'll probably be 90% recycled anyway

    Votes: 24 9.0%
  • Nintendo's Doug Bowser - because I need more Bowser/Bowsette memes in my life. Kill me.

    Votes: 110 41.2%
  • PC Gaming Show - forget the presenter, those new video cards GET. ME. SO. HARD!!!

    Votes: 33 12.4%
  • Not sure who is presenting E3VR, but if it's not Ugandan Knuckles, then this is a waste of time.

    Votes: 63 23.6%

  • Total voters
    267
It's also being developed with the input of R.Talsorian founder Mike Pondsmith so it could take another decade.
Pondsmith strikes me as a bit touched, never thought about what that meant for dev time.
I'm glad they're doing that, tho.
 
Pondsmith strikes me as a bit touched, never thought about what that meant for dev time.
I'm glad they're doing that, tho.

I think he genuinely wants to make a good game, at least that's my hope...then I see Cyberpunk 202x 2nd edition which literally used 3" GI Joe figures photographed in b/w and put through a noise filter to create art and I just kind of shake my head.

Also if you've ever heard him talk, he has an awesome baritone voice, he should've been a singer or radio or tv personality with that voice.
 
Pretty much Sony did not have anything to show and are preparing to hype the PS5, that like people in my irc have deduced "is just a PS 4.7 that can use ray tracing", the only thing that bothers me is that we are not going to see new Death Stranding footage

Square enix: expect another trailer of FF7 Remake, probably some lame ass DLC for kingdom heart 3 and if the great coconut in heaven allow it, the old kingdom hearts in PC because square like that sweet dosh (even when they ports are uber shit), some expansion for Final fantasy online, more mobages, probably a new Deus Ex because they need to tackle CD Project Red, also people always forgot that Square has a weird crowdfoundingthingy for indies so expect something from there

Devolver digital: well, considering that in a few months we are going to have weird stuff like Metal Wolf Chaos, Gato Roboto and My Friend Pedro i dont know what they can announce but they always get the weird ass indy games that i love so i will be watching very carefully

Microsoft: really at this point they should nuke their presentation and go to the PC Show, but im grateful that the Xbox is becoming a affordable gaming pc without all the hassle im still trying to convince people that is actually a decent rig

Nintendo: Probably Prime 4, some animal crossing to appease the horde, i dont think there is going to be some kind of announcement for Smash because Joker was implemented recently but i could be wrong, more footage of the new Fire emblem with people threatening Nintendo with holy war if it come censored (the usual suspects were bitching because one character is apparently a loli) some event for the two mobages (Dragalia and Heroes), and tons of ports because for some reason people want everything on Switch

Bethesda: is going to be like 40 minutes of pretending that fallout 76 was not a nuclear disaster, DLCs for Doom, shilling for ESO and the card game, probably some footage of the new elder scroll, Todd will still not appear this time because he is in his own Vault n°69 that he made with all the dosh of Skyrim

Ubisoft: Another assassin creed that is not in japan because fuck the weebs but people have a little hope considering how things like Sekiro is popular and Sony want to tackle it very hard with Ghost of Tsushima (people have screaming them for years for one they just refuse, barely appease the horde with AC China), shilling for the AC Mobages, probably more pointless DLC for New Dawn, formal announcement of the new Ghost Recon, more updates for Rainbow Six, probably they are going to announce the new Splinter cell, hopefully more footage of their space exploration game and new Watchdogs, i must be the only dumbass that is waiting for Child of light 2 and a new Valiant Hearts

PC Gaming Show: expect a couple of console games port, shilling for Epic Store and probably ATI is going to show their new lines of GPUs

I am actually expecting the Blizzard one not the E3, i want to see how they are going to redeem themselves after that shitshow that was Immortal last year
 
Gaming news is gaming news, regardless of whatever car-fire form it takes. I look forward to mircrosoft and Bethesda making fools of themselves for my entertainment

My big hopes for nintendo would be a smash dlc announcement (the banjo dream lives on), Links Awakening Remake news, Super Mario Maker 2 details (it comes out in late June so who knows), and of course Animal Crossing.

Square just has to deliver a good FF7R trailer which they've already proved capable of doing
 
I'm mainly looking forward to some new Gen 8 Pokemon and a Fighter or two announcement (hell maybe even release) for Smash.

Square could come out of left field and hype me up with some Octopath 2(I'm tepid but might try the mobile Prequel), or really blow my dick off straight to Trannytown with a new Final Fantasy Tactics.

Beyond that, I don't care.
 
Oh yeah, there’s also a rumor that a new Splinter Cell might be at Ubi’s conference. If that happened I’d nut my undies, OP’s undies, and the undies of the homeless man in the 7-11 parking lot (assuming the don’t fuck it up)
 
Can't wait for that Jaypeg of Elder Scroll VI.
 
Apparently Final Fantasy 7's battle system might be close to how DOS2 plays where it's free roaming turn based, the new trailer makes it hard to tell, but square hasn't thrown aside turn based action in it's other titles.

giving abilities strengths and weaknesses based on position would be interesting. Also round cooldown time would make sense.
 
IDGAF about E3 and won't be watching, but Mike Wilson is my husbando and I'll buy everything Devolver puts on GOG if it's at least 10% off.
 
Only interested in CP2K77 and The Outer Worlds. Single player is dying to allow multiplayer, games-as-a-service claptrap to feast on its corpse so I'm looking forward to toasting the end of its slow demise before walking into five o'clock traffic.
 
Since it took Nintendo a year and a half to realize that since the Japanese do not like Metroid or first person games, they may not be the best to make a new first person Metroid game, the only thing I'm looking forward to is Doom 5 release date.

No fuck you I'm not calling whatever gay shit they want me to call it, it's Doom 5.

I'm open to being surprised. I'd kill for a new Wario Land.
 
Looking down the list of E3 entrants this year, I'm acutely aware of how many of them are persona-non-grata to the gaming public. I think Microsoft and Nintendo might be the only safe bets (again) this year. Devolver Digital I'm watching just for the lore at this point (the presenter lady from last year will probably come back as a cyborg.)

My main problem with E3 is that any game shown is almost inevitably two years from coming out (and rarely looks the way it did in the first reveal trailer.) Sony wins this category hands down as the company with the most games that get announced and then promptly forgotten for two or three years before springing back up again; Ubisoft and Squeenix are not far behind either. EA at least tries to show some restraint but the only thing I care about from their show is what new indie game they helped publish this year, as those are usually untainted by their necromancy.

The only point I really see in watching E3 live anymore is riffing on it with friends. All the trailers will be posted minutes after they air live and you can basically recap the whole event through memes, which is what I'll be watching this thread for.
 
Back
Top Bottom