DSP's Hair Mega-Hyper-Ultra Thread - Patchy goatee talk included

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Prince Lotor said:
Recently Phil says he hopes his hairdresser has enough money to get by during the lockdown. Also Kathy is not allowed to cut his hair, but also also if his hair gets too long Phil will just cut off the parts that are annoying him himself because he doesn't give a FUCK!
Timestamped @ 35m12s also at 40m40s he tells a ♿cheerer "I don't have a barber, I have a HAIRDRESSER."
https://youtube.com/watch?v=YYVUMcZYYKM:2112
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8e8d1722.png

Can't wait to see him show up on shtreem with the Robocop.
 
Realized Piggo's pathetic ear infection picture wasn't in here and it was taken with his own much higher res phone camera. Thanks to @PieceofShet for the nice big version posted in the main thread.
Screenshot_2020-05-10 DarksydePhil TheyCallMeDSP Phil Burnell.png
 
I've decided to use my sparse amount of work I can do today wisely and take 10 minutes to discuss DSP's hair, specifically the lack thereof. I've seen a lot of people talk about DSP's balding as a line-down-the-middle balding, which I think is a misunderstanding of his garbage hair based on how awful his webcam is (part of the point of the lack of upgrading his webcam, aside from general cheapness). The shitty quality make his greasy, thick, dark coloured hair look much more present than it actually is.

Here he did a full screen boomer segment so we can see a slightly bigger peek at his weird hair:

bald fill.png

Angels give us a better view of his hair. What usually appears like a line down the middle is clearly just a completely sparse covering, with the hair grown long to cover how thin it grows. See figure 1, featuring a fill in only of spots where we can clearly see scalp, let alone the areas left untouched where the hair is visibly thinner but slightly covered up by low quality cam:

bald fill highlight.png

Here's what DSP's hairline (probably) looks like:

bald fill topographical map.png

He definitely has the receding hairline, and probably uses his gross oiled back cugine hair to cover up how much hair he's actually lost. There is no line down the middle. He is George Costanza.
 
the khat quaffer said:
Isn't a wide brow a sign of autism?
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Phil walks on the balls of his feet

He constantly rocks back and forth

He talks about things that only interest himself

He has trouble maintaining social relationships

He is almost 40 years old and cannot cook his own food, wash his own clothes, or bathe himself

Yep, it's the large brow that makes him autistic
 
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