DSP's Hair Mega-Hyper-Ultra Thread - Patchy goatee talk included

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It really looks like he's just gluing a comb forward to his head to cover up the receding hairline. You can clearly see each side is hair that's coming from the back. It's just much worse than usual since he's Phil and he doesn't know how to do anything right.

It also explains why he hardly ever washes his hair.
 
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Truly, this year has been rough on his hair. He went from a bald spot to a Grand Canyon in something like 12 months
 
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These are some shots from his PSVR unboxing, from 2016... as you can see from recent pics, his hairline has receded even worse on the sides since then and one can only imagine how much worse it's gotten on top since 2016 under that elaborate ruse of a "hairstyle."

He hides it reasonably well behind bad lighting, low quality cam, and the jet black hair (dye?) helps, but in reality, as he likes to say, it's nothing but a combover, only front to back instead of side to side. Mr "I don't use products anymore, just water" obviously has a Phil Collins patch at the front, albeit a bit stronger still, that he keeps long and splits between middle and sides, gluing back to cover the nearly gone sides and the major bald spot in the middle/top. It's not hard to see where the long front patch ends as there is a dip in the back where it stops and the much shorter crown hair starts, and that hair tends to poof up in the back.

He's rocking a combover system almost as elaborate as Donald Trump and if people really wanted to put him on the spot about it they'd ask him to PART or otherwise mess up his hair and the whole illusion would fall apart.

Edit: he has the Barney Fife combover.
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He's losing on all fronts now. I think he did the slick back look to cover up the crown bald spot, but now
DarkSydeOfTheBoulder said:
View attachment 993111View attachment 993114View attachment 993117View attachment 993118

These are some shots from his PSVR unboxing, from 2016... as you can see from recent pics, his hairline has receded even worse on the sides since then and one can only imagine how much worse it's gotten on top since 2016 under that elaborate ruse of a "hairstyle."

He hides it reasonably well behind bad lighting, low quality cam, and the jet black hair (dye?) helps, but in reality, as he likes to say, it's nothing but a combover, only front to back instead of side to side. Mr "I don't use products anymore, just water" obviously has a Phil Collins patch at the front, albeit a bit stronger still, that he keeps long and splits between middle and sides, gluing back to cover the nearly gone sides and the major bald spot in the middle/top. It's not hard to see where the long front patch ends as there is a dip in the back where it stops and the much shorter crown hair starts, and that hair tends to poof up in the back.

He's rocking a combover system almost as elaborate as Donald Trump and if people really wanted to put him on the spot about it they'd ask him to PART or otherwise mess up his hair and the whole illusion would fall apart.
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DSP needs to use this as his hair bible now:
 
His head seems quite itchy lately. I wonder if he is using some sort of product to mask the baldness or a crown toupee.
 
SlushFiend said:
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Here's the current progress of his hair loss.
I was somewhat lenient with his top hair only using the distinct bald lines that's been seen multiple times.
(P.S. Can someone help me find some good back shots, I spent a good hour looking through his videos but couldn't find a clear bald spot that I was satisfied with.)
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Here’s a back shot from 2011. It seems that his lower neck hair was already beginning to thin around this time. Also, the bald spot on the back is bigger than it originally seemed.
 

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Nypical Haterade Comment said:
Here’s a back shot from 2011. It seems that his lower neck hair was already beginning to thin around this time. Also, the bald spot on the back is bigger than it originally seemed.
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Side note on this video.

Notice how Phil can crouch, sit, stand, and lift, with no problem? This was at his peak back pain. Show me one person with legit back problems that can move like this.
 
Sparkletor said:
Side note on this video.

Notice how Phil can crouch, sit, stand, and lift, with no problem? This was at his peak back pain. Show me one person with legit back problems that can move like this.
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That computer was obviously shipped from Seattle. Some of that miraculous Seattle air was trapped in the box and temporarily healed his back after breathing it in when he unboxed the computer.
 
Just saying, Phil's idol and comedy inspiration Howard Stern has been in radio since 1986. Wearing headphones every day. Not balding.

Construction workers wear ear protection identical to headphones. They don't just go bald.

Air traffic controllers wear headphones for hours a day. Don't go bald.

McDonald's and other similar places have workers wear a headset their entire shift. Not bald.


Phil wears headphones 6 hours a day. Has a landing strip in his dome.
 
Sparkletor said:
Vintage Project 7 hair
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Goddamn. He looks so down-y here with the shape of his head and neck. Unfortunately, he doesn't have that r.etard strength. Most people have a regular part in their hair, but it usually just goes up to that little spiral point on the top of the dome. Phil's part is more of a canyon that goes halfway down his back.
 
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