DSP's Hair Mega-Hyper-Ultra Thread - Patchy goatee talk included

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Today is haircut day!

Phil hasn't had a haircut in a month, doods. Heres a fun fact, human hair grows an average of 0.5 inches a month. So Phil is taking the day off, driving to another city, and paying a personal stylist to trim half an inch of hair. Phil wonders why he has no money.

Kat could cut his hair for free.

"But I need a professional haircut to look good on stream" Phil may cry. Bullshit. He doesn't shower. He doesn't shave. He wears pajamas. He snorts, burps, and crushes bottles into the mic. He doesn't care about these things affecting how people view him, why is he so vain about his hair?

Probably because Kat loves his hair. You know, Kat, his wife that he sees for two hours a day for dinner and one day a week to buy groceries.
 
Sparkletor said:
Today is haircut day!
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Is he really getting a hair cut today? One of the most bizarre things (for me at least) about the "Debunking" stream, six days ago, was how styled he'd gotten his hair for it.

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It was fluffed out then blow-dried back (I don't know hair-styling terms 💩). His fore-locks (?) are noticeably shaped upwards and outwards, not simply brushed back. This is in contrast to his super-special hair that we've seen in Project 7, which is to gel it all into a slicked-back helmet.

(Unrelated: he chose to upload the "Debunking" stream to DSPGaming, rather than his channel dedicated for his Vlogs, which further illustrates the importance he attached to it.)
 
marlintan said:
My hair is / was dark brown, and I got grey hairs on my scalp when I was like 16...

My facial hair is turning red though, which I don't understand.
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Ah, your hair color is actually a dirty blonde then. Mine's the same way. Something about blonde having no pigment that any anomalies in a hair follicle means it can be red, gray, black, brown, etc
 
Van Darkholme said:
Hair today, gone tomorrow.

He's almost 40 years old, many other men lose their hair even long before that. I'm surprised it hasn't fallen out much earlier, considering his lifestyle.
He really needs to stop being such a little bitch about his upcoming shiny chromedome.
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Hair loss is tied to testosterone amounts. Dudes with more tend to lose hair earlier - check out body builders.
 
Phil told us tonight that he had a crew cut starting in high school.

We also know his mother combed his hair up until high school.

I put forth the theory that Phil's mom didn't stop combing his hair because he was too old, and instead she stopped combing his hair because he shaved it all off.

Phil is kind of a really huge faggot.
 
His goatee is going bald, is he pulling his hair out?
 
he fucked up cause he shaved his hair back in day. If he had just left it, it would be hard to see his bald spots. Now he has that nasty greasy hair so we can see the bald spots.
 
Sparkletor said:
Phil told us tonight that he had a crew cut starting in high school.

We also know his mother combed his hair up until high school.

I put forth the theory that Phil's mom didn't stop combing his hair because he was too old, and instead she stopped combing his hair because he shaved it all off.

Phil is kind of a really huge faggot.
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I find this 'My mom combed my hair until high school' thing confusing. Sure, maybe he had an overbearing mother and is such a natural beta-cuck that it wasn't until he was 15 that he took charge of his hairstyle. . .but it's literally just running a comb through your hair. It just makes him sound retarded to me. Is he really just too retarded to part his hair with a comb? I notice he still might not be able to part his hair. . .

I can't ever remember anyone combing my hair for me, except a barber, ever. So at least since 4 years old I have combed my hair myself. Was little Philliam not allowed to comb his hair? I just don't understand :stress:
 
Prince Lotor said:
I find this 'My mom combed my hair until high school' thing confusing. Sure, maybe he had an overbearing mother and is such a natural beta-cuck that it wasn't until he was 15 that he took charge of his hairstyle. . .but it's literally just running a comb through your hair. It just makes him sound retarded to me. Is he really just too retarded to part his hair with a comb? I notice he still might not be able to part his hair. . .

I can't ever remember anyone combing my hair for me, except a barber, ever. So at least since 4 years old I have combed my hair myself. Was little Philliam not allowed to comb his hair? I just don't understand :stress:
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Let's take a look at Phil.

He didn't know how to do his own laundry until he was like 35 years old, he had others do it for him. He didn't know he had to change the oil in his car and expected the dealership to do it for him. He couldn't find a job until his dad did it for him. He doesn't bathe or shave unless he is forced to. He says he's a pro gamer yet he can't even play video games without being handheld.

He has something wrong with him. He calls other people idiots, but he himself functions at the level of a small child.
 
Prince Lotor said:
I find this 'My mom combed my hair until high school' thing confusing. Sure, maybe he had an overbearing mother and is such a natural beta-cuck that it wasn't until he was 15 that he took charge of his hairstyle. . .but it's literally just running a comb through your hair. It just makes him sound retarded to me. Is he really just too retarded to part his hair with a comb? I notice he still might not be able to part his hair. . .

I can't ever remember anyone combing my hair for me, except a barber, ever. So at least since 4 years old I have combed my hair myself. Was little Philliam not allowed to comb his hair? I just don't understand :stress:
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Laughing thinking about Phil being stunned by the barber parting his hair and yelling "wow dude how do you do that?"
 
Prince Lotor said:
I find this 'My mom combed my hair until high school' thing confusing. Sure, maybe he had an overbearing mother and is such a natural beta-cuck that it wasn't until he was 15 that he took charge of his hairstyle. . .but it's literally just running a comb through your hair. It just makes him sound retarded to me. Is he really just too retarded to part his hair with a comb? I notice he still might not be able to part his hair. . .

I can't ever remember anyone combing my hair for me, except a barber, ever. So at least since 4 years old I have combed my hair myself. Was little Philliam not allowed to comb his hair? I just don't understand :stress:
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Sparkletor said:
Let's take a look at Phil.

He didn't know how to do his own laundry until he was like 35 years old, he had others do it for him. He didn't know he had to change the oil in his car and expected the dealership to do it for him. He couldn't find a job until his dad did it for him. He doesn't bathe or shave unless he is forced to. He says he's a pro gamer yet he can't even play video games without being handheld.

He has something wrong with him. He calls other people idiots, but he himself functions at the level of a small child.
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Every source I know who speaks about Italian men says the same: The boys are stuck to their titties as if they're glued. Momma feeds them, momma combs them, momma binds their shoelaces... And they expect their girlfriends to do the same. You know the meme of defending the Italian mom to the death? I guess there is something to it.

So if he has an authentic Italian mom I won't be surprised if he never learned to do something on his own. Now she even decides when and who to marry, pays his wedding and the taxes. Sounds quite authentic to me. Kudos for trying to escape this process, Phil, but you are still a brat.

Real Italians are welcomed to give us more information and correct the rumors I've heard.
 
Wurstbrot said:
Every source I know who speaks about Italian men says the same: The boys are stuck to their titties as if they're glued. Momma feeds them, momma combs them, momma binds their shoelaces... And they expect their girlfriends to do the same. You know the meme of defending the Italian mom to the death? I guess there is something to it.

So if he has an authentic Italian mom I won't be surprised if he never learned to do something on his own. Now she even decides when and who to marry, pays his wedding and the taxes. Sounds quite authentic to me. Kudos for trying to escape this process, Phil, but you are still a brat.

Real Italians are welcomed to give us more information and correct the rumors I've heard.
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But she is also half Polish. I heard Polish women are hairy and stupid, so add that into the mix.

Polish women are also welcome to debunk these rumors.
 
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