DSP's Hair Mega-Hyper-Ultra Thread - Patchy goatee talk included

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Cistern Rumbler said:
IIRC he's always stated he doesn't use hair product, just water. Probably why he's so greasy and gets so many ear infections.
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His hair would also fall out in clumps if he used shampoo. So he either has to wash his air with water and be greasy (and suffer from all that it entails) or watch as his hair falls out in clumps when he uses shampoo. Since rule zero of Phil is that his ego must be protected at all times, he's going to stay greasy. Could you imagine if he came on stream and we saw that there are areas on his bulbous head that lack hair? We would be mocking him for it until he dies. He could just wear the beanie that he has, but we would mock him for looking like a fool and getting off screen to change his hat, which he would use to take a break from the stream (and stall it) to waste more time and money on WWE Champions.
 
So...as it's turns out ....Phil is actually doing the right thing to hide his thinning and baldness. brush in and straight back grow the front long. although in the example below it's thinned but not receeded as much as Phil's so who knows.

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From today's stream:
FHJ4PvSXoAY33jH

It looks like the bald spot has been moving forward towards his forehead. I expect he won't have enough hair to even do a proper combover by 2025.
 
twattycake said:
It looks like the bald spot has been moving forward towards his forehead. I expect he won't have enough hair to even do a proper combover by 2025.
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It's going to be sooner than that. He has genetics (the fact that the thinning started over a decade ago proves that one), low T, poor diet, lack of exercise, lack of proper hair care, age, alcoholism, shitty sleep cycle, and stress eating away at that hair. Frankly, he's lucky to have as much as he does.
 
Does it bother anyone else that he allows the upper edge of his moustache to grow directly up into his nostrils? It seems like it would make more sense to trim the top of the moustache level.
 
millais said:
Does it bother anyone else that he allows the upper edge of his moustache to grow directly up into his nostrils? It seems like it would make more sense to trim the top of the moustache level.
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Yeah looks dumb, and as someone with a stache myself I do ''fix'' that when shaving as I find it annoying.
 
Dear gout Phil, just shave off this abomination. Your mother would ask if you fell in dirt again. And I would ask if your chin received a chemo therapy.
 

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Old Scammin' Phil said:
I didn't really see it coming, but I'm glad to be here for the Phil wears half a goatee now for some reason era
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It seems to me that Phil has made the situation of his facial hair situation way worse the it needs to be. So if even if you disregard the fact that he doesn't use any facial cream or beard oil, he always resorts to this habit of picking the side of his face whilst talking on camera, you can see this multiple times during his "podcast" and not only that but he probably falls into that repeating habbit of scratching his face when he's talking to other people or talking to someone whilst lying to their face. It wasn't that bad a few years ago, which is the most notable thing.

I think it suggests that his ageing and poor health maintenance has really caught up to him, and it can only go down from here, Phil's not fucking paying for a hair transplant at any point in his life, he'd rather spend money on gacha.
 
I get the feeling the state of his facial hair tells us what he's going to do about the hair atop his head: absolutely nothing. Ever. Not even going to wear a hat full time and turn his gimmick into something else.

I mean the only option he has for his facial hair is shave it, or just look terrible all the time, and he picked the latter, so what am I to expect of the rest of his hair? He has an additional option there, sure, but he has so many in other areas of his life and he picks the worst one every time.

Also, I think the reason he puts a hat on as a gimmick is to further that narrative that it's not something he regularly does, it's not part of his real life. Just a streaming thing. "Look at this odd thing I'm doing guys! ACK ACK ACK! So out of character!" For him to wear a hat all the time as a personal choice of his, even to cover his bald head, like that one schmuck Steve Shives, I can't see him doing that. It's too much of an admission of defeat at this point, he knows it's expected. Besides, if his inclination were to hide what he fears showing, he would've started a long time ago. Possibly even before detractors noticed his balding.

Instead his thing had been denial, pretending that he's not balding at all, and if I'm right about why he grew his hair out to begin with, then this has been a denial over a decade old by this point. It's possible he doesn't even admit it to himself off-camera, just goes through the usual motions of combing his hair back and putting no thought to the very obvious real reason why. It could very well be far more lying to himself than to the world.
 
Yeah that makes sense. He's so vain about the thick coal-black glossy Sicilian oil slick on top that it's weird he doesn't extend the same care to what's happening at the bottom of his head. Shouldn't he have the equivalent of a combover/salon dye job on his goutee?
I see the state of his chin in these pics and I honestly just think what are you up to now you strange little man.
 
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Well it's not even physically possible on his facial hair, it obviously doesn't grow enough for him to make anything of it the way he does his head hair. And for him to just let it be what it is, which looks way worse than if he shaved it, I have to assume it's because he really does live in denial, even privately, that his body is going to shit.

Phil's ego is more than just concern over appearance to others. It's fed by his historically inaccurate sense of where he is on his own timeline. He knows his age, but he doesn't truly absorb what that means because on a daily his brain operates well below what it's supposed to, and I think Phil has been oblivious to that most of his life. He knows to expect backlash any time he does something immoral, but he's almost never prepared for when he says/does something that shows how much his age doesn't tell the true story, if you know what I mean.

These days, this lack of awareness is colliding with the visible signs of how old and unhealthy he is, and this chaffs him something fierce. It would even if he weren't on the internet, I'm sure. He would look in the mirror and still choose to ignore what the reflection is telling him, almost entirely because his juvenile brain is incapable of being prepared.
 
I'm noticing that it's really the hair on the sides going away that's going to have him looking stupid in the future, because that seems to be happening a lot faster than the decade-long thinning of the top hair, and the more it falls out the bigger the bald spot he has to try covering up with those foot-long bangs of his. It's already proving to be a problem, you can see how fanned-out the comb back is, it's not straight, he can't style it that way without leaving even more baldness exposed than he already is.
 
bearsintrees said:
He's already at the point where his hairdresser shaves the tuft of hair that's ahead of his actual hairline. He's at the endgame but not admitting it to himself.

Two more years.
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It's been 2,5 years. Phil will not go full Dr.Phil until he is at least 45.
 
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