DSP's Hair Mega-Hyper-Ultra Thread - Patchy goatee talk included

  • ⚙️ Performance issue identified and being addressed.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
LiquidCancer said:
View attachment 2725850
Click to expand...
Wow, that is the clearest picture I've seen thus far of how fucked his hair is. Good job.

And yeah, I'm sure of it now: shaved is how he actually wants it, and the long parts are only there to cover the giant bald spot on the top and back of his head. Even when he's determined to hide something, he can't whole-ass it. He has to be low-effort there too.
 
actually said:
Dude's hair looks like the forest in Siberia after the Tunguska event.
Click to expand...
LMFAO that was a golden reference.

LMAO.jpg
 
Anyway, let's shift gears from bald talk to gray talk.
We know Phil went to Curls and Twirls on 8/18/2021 and 7/15/2021. So in theory, the days immediately prior to that should be his grayest days. (Maybe go a couple days back in case it took time for the transactions to clear?) Anyone want to go digging for screenshots?
 
This nigga is starting to look like Colin Farrell in Horrible Bosses.

MV5BMTM0NDM1MjkxMF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNTU2MTQ2NQ@@._V1_.jpg
 
Last edited:
Kosher Dill said:
Anyway, let's shift gears from bald talk to gray talk.
We know Phil went to Curls and Twirls on 8/18/2021 and 7/15/2021. So in theory, the days immediately prior to that should be his grayest days. (Maybe go a couple days back in case it took time for the transactions to clear?) Anyone want to go digging for screenshots?
Click to expand...
I doubt there's anything much to see on account of 1) his webcam being shit and 2) he doesn't wash his hair often enough for it to be "coming down to the wire", so to speak, by the time he gets around to having it died again.

BTW, I find it hilarious that once again, he can't be bothered to do something himself even when it's important to him.
 
Someone went to Curls and Twirls recently. He had the number 2 clippers across his entire head except for the very front. You can tell his shit looks like this:

Screenshot_20211126-162521_Firefox.jpg


The very front is grown out so long and combed straight back and he buzzed the rest down short.

Screenshot_20211126-162227_YouTube.jpg


Screenshot_20211126-162213_YouTube.jpg
 
LolCowCentral said:
The very front is grown out so long and combed straight back and he buzzed the rest down short.

Screenshot_20211126-162227_YouTube.jpg


Screenshot_20211126-162213_YouTube.jpg
Click to expand...
If you look on the top left side of the second picture there are multiple white hairs which can't be chalked up to glare or styling gel. This means he probably does not dye it unless his stylist is just really sloppy. More importantly it means we can start taking bets on which will happen to Phil first, all gray or bald. Either way I know I'm looking forward to his excuses and bald headed lies to cover up his hair issues.
 
How hilarious would it be if he had his mom cut his hair? Would explain how not all the grey got covered, and you know both of them would get off on it being like the good old days.
 
twattycake said:
If you look on the top left side of the second picture there are multiple white hairs which can't be chalked up to glare or styling gel. This means he probably does not dye it unless his stylist is just really sloppy. More importantly it means we can start taking bets on which will happen to Phil first, all gray or bald. Either way I know I'm looking forward to his excuses and bald headed lies to cover up his hair issues.
Click to expand...
I don't think those are gray hairs. Those are bald spots shining through his combed back hair/combover.
 
twattycake said:
Either way I know I'm looking forward to his excuses and bald headed lies to cover up his hair issues.
Click to expand...
Aside from half a minute of oinking, I don't think hair bothers Phil as much, given he shaved his hair as soon as he moved out only so he wouldn't need to take care of it.
 
TheGoutburglar said:
How hilarious would it be if he had his mom cut his hair? Would explain how not all the grey got covered, and you know both of them would get off on it being like the good old days.
Click to expand...
I would imagine in the early days of Phil's childhood even if his mother didn't cut his hair that often, you bet she would have had a huge part in styling it, or suggesting the best ways to cut his hair so he could look the part of the Italian stallion

It might be a bit of a stretch to say this, but It is interesting that I actually did notice his hair looked a lot different then normal recently on the lower sides of his fat head, the clippers used were probably a few millimetres shorter, I have never seen him have this sort of cut before from recent memory, so logically I would presume that he would have asked his hairdresser that knows his hair very well to style his hair this way.

But what would have compelled him to do it? Well Phil simply could have suggested cutting it slightly shorter I suppose, but I think If you wanted to ask for a particular style of hair cut, you want to make yourself look good when you present yourself because you either want to make yourself feel good or you have some sort of outing (which Phil doesn't attend fucking any).

So I get the impression that Phil got this particular type of hair cut in order to look better in front of people for whatever reason that might be from his hairdresser, or his mom suggested and potentially played a part in the idea, because if any outside influence can change his mind about something that doesn't include his roomate, it might be his parents. Unless Phil's reflects what he said on the original wolverine toy story video and said his parents "didn't have enough money to buy it they were just, fucken stupid", also including when he completely lambasted both of his parents when his car got smashed on that highway.
 
Last edited:
Flavius Anthemius said:
Unless Phil's reflects what he said on the original wolverine toy story video and said his parents "didn't have enough money to buy it they were just, fucken stupid", also including when he completely lambasted both of his parents when his car got smashed on that highway.
Click to expand...
Don't let Phil's little hissy fits when he doesn't get his way lead you to think he has the nerve to tell his mom to take a hike when she tells her little boy that he might look better if he has his hair cut a slightly different way. Especially since it feeds right into his desire to forestall acknowledging his baldness. It's not like she told him to grow up and accept it already. THAT would be received poorly.
 
Now for more Pig Prequels: Phil's balding problem was real before he even turned 31 (note the "God of War Ascension" branding, that game released in early 2013):

baldingBurnell.jpg

All credit goes to the nudnik trolls of Twitter for their dedicated autism.
 
twattycake said:
Now for more Pig Prequels: Phil's balding problem was real before he even turned 31 (note the "God of War Ascension" branding, that game released in early 2013):

View attachment 2759772

All credit goes to the nudnik trolls of Twitter for their dedicated autism.
Click to expand...
And again, we have more demonstration of how he only grows out the parts that he needs to in order to conceal his baldness. Except these days he has less to work with, so there's even more getting shaved than in this photo.

I'm really looking forward to what Phil does when he has literally nothing to comb back anymore. He's not going to just let the bald head shine, we know that, but what's the alternative? Suddenly start wearing a beanie all the time again? Hard to do that when one of his streaming gimmicks is a hat, because it means either put the hat on over the beanie, over always step off camera when switching over, as if that's not going to get noticed.

I love Phil's stupid little issues like these, they're an endless source of entertainment.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom