DSP's Hair Mega-Hyper-Ultra Thread - Patchy goatee talk included

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Sparkletor 2.0 said:
Phil has specifically said that he has to drive to another city to get his hair done.
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Yeah. I remembered. The lore on this lady was that she worked somewhere by his house (now we know it was Hairmasters) and then moved to a different location, but same franchise, so he drove 30 minutes or whatever to get his haircut by her. Looks like she just recently opened this Curls & Twirls or whatever by herself and that's why the C&T transactions are fairly new (DSP has gone there starting July 2021). Noticed also that he is spending around $66 on his hair, except for one time ($35.88 charge), which leads me to believe Kat is also getting her hair done as well.
 
ReentryPhantom said:
Yeah. I remembered. The lore on this lady was that she worked somewhere by his house (now we know it was Hairmasters) and then moved to a different location, but same franchise, so he drove 30 minutes or whatever to get his haircut by her. Looks like she just recently opened this Curls & Twirls or whatever by herself and that's why the C&T transactions are fairly new (DSP has gone there starting July 2021). Noticed also that he is spending around $66 on his hair, except for one time ($35.88 charge), which leads me to believe Kat is also getting her hair done as well.
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It's not Kat, he is getting a cut, dye, and bald cope procedure.
 
Cistern Rumbler said:
I've never heard of a man losing their facial hair, his genetics truly are dogshit.
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This reminds of me a recent Wings stream where he said can't grow a full beard because his testosterone is too low. I think this might also be what's happened to Phil, test is so low now that parts of his facial hair have just stopped growing in.
 
DSP must have fucked up his hair combover system tonight, look at that fucking crater


fill bald ha ha.png
 
Corpun said:
Do you think she knows?

Phil might be better off shaving himself bald at this point. Only slightly though, he's always had a very uncanny head to body size ratio.
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If he were to do that, then get ready for more hat related tips goals or stream gimmicks where he has to cover his head in some fashion. People have noticed that he may have been wearing certain hats to cover his growing bald spot on his navel and his receeding hair line, as well as wearing his headphones less because he's paranoid about them contributing to his hair loss problem, and not his ear infection problem that he so claims (come to think of it, there wasn't anything that outright confirmed that he went to a doctor or some other medial place about it was there?)
 
Bloodypinky said:
I can't believe that Cheresa Meyers of Curls and Twirls does the hair of a man who masturbated in front of children.
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Corpun said:
Do you think she knows?
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Let's be real here, weens have probably already flooded every. single. business. on the leaked bank documents with "helpful information" about the Pig.

Also is there anything a hairdresser can do for his balding problem besides comb it over? Because if not he's probably better off saving that money and looking for a passable toupee.
 
twattycake said:
Let's be real here, weens have probably already flooded every. single. business. on the leaked bank documents with "helpful information" about the Pig.

Also is there anything a hairdresser can do for his balding problem besides comb it over? Because if not he's probably better off saving that money and looking for a passable toupee.
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No dood toupees are what middle aged boomers trying to relive their gory days wear, not someone at the peak of their life like Phil! They're just way too uncool and the detractors would make fun of it, even though Phil claims not to care what they say. Same reason he adamantly refuses to wear prescription glasses he almost certainly needs.
 
Lurker at the Threshold said:
He should convert to Judaism so he has an excuse to wear a Yamika. A black one would hide the bald spot nicely without being too obvious.
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Some other kiwi poster here literally has a profile picture of him with a kippah on and he looks genuinely cultured and somewhat serious, when you see it you'll probably laugh straight away.

It's also ironic when you think about, because Phil absolutely doesn't have the main traits of your stereotypical Jewish American.
 
When he took off the military hat as ask the king was winding down, you can see how bald he is:

Screenshot_20211004-185058_YouTube.jpg
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BALDY, BALD, BALD
 
Holy shit, his profile is like some cursed image shit. His chin juts out as much as his brow but neither can compare to his massive gin-nose. He looks like a silhouette of a halloween witch.
 
Somebody left this comment on the latest Snort Burnell video:

Clipboard01.png


After looking into it myself, I'd say that's pretty accurate...

philface.jpg
wingsface.jpg
 
FalsePositive said:
Well now we know who we can blame for Dark's hair.
View attachment 2550827
Cheresa Meyers of Curls and Twirls. $66. Sixty-six motherfucking dollars.
Imagine being this woman and one day Dark walks in and says "give me the Finger Lakes!"

View attachment 2550828
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This bitch must be a part-time magician in order to keep saving Phil's top dome from looking like a forest after a fire.

Which, speaking of magicians..

Pepper Jack said:
When he took off the military hat as ask the king was winding down, you can see how bald he is:

View attachment 2596855
View attachment 2596859

BALDY, BALD, BALD
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... He looks like some faggot ass loser magician hired for some kid's birthday party.

Pow! You're all broke!

Lurker at the Threshold said:
He should convert to Judaism so he has an excuse to wear a Yamika. A black one would hide the bald spot nicely without being too obvious.
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Yarmulke, my guy.
 
He would honestly do better if he went with a faux hawk. Did a 4 or 5 on the sides by the ear and pulled his hair up to the middle. He would get way better coverage and wouldn't have to look like a greasy Guido.
 
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