Dragon Age: The Veilguard - A woke disaster? Yep!

[Sailor Swift]

Optimistic, I think it will be the other way around instead...

No no no this is how it's gonna go.

Rook and Not!Vincent Price will get hot and heavy. Rook looks over to the skeleton, quips about how maybe it should leave or else it might get rigor mortis hint hint. Then the necromancer will make a joke about bones.

Fade to black.

The next scene will be the skeleton against the outside of the bedroom door, leaning against it with a silly, defeated look. If it speaks, it'll comment something about how the dead isn't the only thing getting raised.

 

[LovisXVI]

No no no this is how it's gonna go.

Ugh that is so painful, there is no way it isn't going to happen.

 

[MsFrancisFoster]

I think the one thing about the Dragon Age fandom that sends me is the fact people INSIST that Alistair isn't white because his mum is an elf, even though we meet his mother and she's pale as fucking snow. I have legit seen people argue he's bi-racial in the sense of being half black cause Elves are a "minority."

Though Bioware did actually lighten him up as the games went on so that's a nice little fuck you to the people who insist he's some kind of fantasy mulatto. They claim white washing but like, lmao. He was always white, sorry to say folks.

Spoiler: Whitewashing in real time TM

Edit: Also, found some of my old art swatches in the depths of a now defunct laptop hard drive. Pardon my teenaged handwriting.
From left to right is Skin Colour, Hair Colour, Eye Colour. (Merrill has two because she has Turquoise eyes in Origins but Green eyes in DA:2)

 

[Sailor Swift]

My favorite Alistair headcanon is that his eyes shine in the dark, like how elves are supposed to have eyeshine.

Also, what if he's just gotten paler because in Origins, he was tan from being outside constantly? He's not being whitewashed, he's just not having to go out in the sun like he used to. Lol. You know that boy was sporting a farmers tan, Hank Hill style.

(God he looks like Cullen.)

Eta: speaking of art swatches, you can download the dev toolkit for Origins and view the character models. I'm not sure if the toolkit is still available officially, but it might be floating around somewhere.

 

[A Sentient Cloud]

Is that thing in the middle a Qunari? Guess the AI doesn't understand that word and came up with a tiefling instead.

Man, they are really doing Qunari dirty in this one.

On a "Is this AI generated" note, what the hell is going on with the Asian Elf's magic bow monstrosity?


It has no string, the arrowhead doesn't appear to be aligned with the concentric circle "barrel" contraption, and how exactly is she holding it? Her hand just kind of dissolves into the grip area. It's impossible to tell how this thing fits together, it certainly doesn't look like any other artifact we've seen in this series.

The art style is so bland in general, everything is that "sort of mechanical, sort of magical, shiny cartoon blob" style we've seen in everything from Warcraft to Destiny to Overwatch. Not like this series has ever had a defining art style or sense of place but it's just so aggressively...like everything else.

 

[Snekposter]

Zerrikanians

Na, Zerrikania is actually a weird pastiche of Africa and pre-Islam Persia. You have a massive Africa-tier jungle (complete with horrid shit like tsetse flies and botflies) with barren steppes outside of it and some more temperate forests hiding in the shadows of the mountains on either side of the place, complete with various distinct ethnicities living in those places.

Zevran is black

He's a Sicilian elf, complete with mob ties. Of course he's part eggplant.

Wait, Fenris doesn't even look black! I can understand why people think Zevran is black due to the darker, faded overall color scheme of Dragon Age Origins, but Fenris?

Well, since nobody with white skin has ever, ever been enslaved, he clearly can't be white!

 

[A Sentient Cloud]

The good: Zerrikanians and Ofieri in the Witcher games.
The world of the Witcher, especially TW3 was maligned by the assblasted gaming press for not having niggers. In the books and the games, Zerrikanians come from an Eastern land and are supposed to be the equivalent of pajeets or pakistanis (the shitty tv show would just make them niggers). They're not present in the games save for one as an antagonist in TW1 (left his homeland for a magical education in the Northern Kingdoms). The Ofieri are meant to be Turks/Near Easterners. They only show up as an entourage to a cursed prince who is there as part of an arranged marriage to a wealthy (and dead) heiress. We know where both groups come from and we know why they're there. Excellent world building.

The bad: Dishonored.
This one is only dumb once you see the world map. Before that, about the setting. The games take place in the Empire of The Isles. The Isles are four islands meant to represent Sweden/Denmark (Tyvia), Ireland (Morley), England/France (Gristol), and Spain/Italy (Serkonos). This is based off of the climate and geography. There are blacks in the Isles, mostly in Serkonos, the Southernmost island. That's all well and good until as I said, you see the larger map.

This is overthinking it to a grand degree.

Zerrikania: "Timbuktu." It's a faraway exotic place, end of story.

The Ofiri were invented for the Hearts Of Stone DLC in response to criticism that the Witcher 3 setting was too white.

The idea that any of the isles in Dishonored is based on a specific real-world location is just silly. You might as well try to do a 1:1 mapping of the Disco Elysium universe onto the real world.

Pandyssia is a "darkest Africa" trope straight out of Heart of Darkness.

 

[Nonga Tork]

Zevran's a tanned Spaniard expy, he's supposed to be the stereotypical "Spanish Lover" trope, but everyone and their uncle draws him with nigger skin tones because he's a precious "POC". Fenris also gets this treatment even though he's very much just a tanned white man. Even do this day you'll get accusations of "white washing" these two very Caucasian men if you don't slather them in charcoal lmao. I've colour picked their skins more than once for art and they're no where near as dark as some people claim them to be.

I could probably post my colour swatches for most of the DA characters and you'd get a pretty decent idea of just how often these fuckers blackwash everyone who's even the slightest bit golden tan.

Those two are basically the definition of "Mediterranean" in skin tone, they could be from anywhere in Southern Europe, North Africa, or the Middle East, why do some people interpret everything as either Sub-Saharan or Northern European?

 

[Asian tech support]

The Ofiri were invented for the Hearts Of Stone DLC in response to criticism that the Witcher 3 setting was too white.

Their existence predates the DLC, not in the games but in the books, though I believe it was merely flavor text. Maybe there was a reference in another game somewhere but that's irrelevant. Perhaps you meant introduced. Quite frankly, it doesn't matter because it was done appropriately (and also did nothing to quell the outrage mob).

The idea that any of the isles in Dishonored is based on a specific real-world location is just silly.

They are though but that's also missing the point. The point is their location relative to Pandyssia and the equator. The Isles are isolated and have been for longer than the established history would have the player know. The dominant ethnic group(s) are clearly flavors of caucasians. Really, the only hangup is the map. It does not make sense for dark skinned people to be that far north and maintain clear ethnic boundaries over such a long period. All the writers had to do was either not include the map or write some bullshit about how an expedition ship returning to Serkonos brought back natives. That didn't happen though and thus is lazy.

 

[MsFrancisFoster]

Those two are basically the definition of "Mediterranean" in skin tone, they could be from anywhere in Southern Europe, North Africa, or the Middle East, why do some people interpret everything as either Sub-Saharan or Northern European?

They are. I posted swatches for their skin tones a bit back for when I used to draw and do art. Pretty much both of them are tanned golden to yellow at the base of their skin tones.

But either way, I can only answer that as "People have nigger worship parasites" or refuse to acknowledge white people can get tanned. Remember, these are the same people that think getting a tan is the same as blackface.

 

[A Sentient Cloud]

It does not make sense for dark skinned people to be that far north and maintain clear ethnic boundaries over such a long period.

Nothing about the Dishonored setting makes sense. As far as any of the characters know, the entirety of physical existence consists of a single continent on one side and a single archipelago on the other. We don't even really know the nature of the world, let alone if it's a sphere. Your autism is fixating on just about the least interesting facet of this setting.

 

[Ishtar]

So my suspicion that the Elven gods were blighted turned out to be correct. Might also be the elven gods invented the Blight(which I'm not surprised they did but don't like).

Speaking of elves in general, there's such a bizarre disconnect between "elves are uwu oppressed pocs in Thedas" and 'actually their entire religion and mythology is wrong, and their gods are evil and the cause of the setting's problems".

I suppose this could be an interesting dichotomy if it were intentional, but it appears to just be something Bioware stumbled into.

Eeuw, Carver in the concept art looks like he's walked out of a 1990s Disney cartoon. A rare case when the ingame art style does him more justice.

Ugh, Tallis. Can't stand that annoying know-it-all with an ugly mug. The worst thing about her DLC is that I can't push her off a cliff.

Tallis is more tolerable when you talk to her in prison and she basically admits she is trying to convince herself of the Qun. She outright admits Viddathari(elven and human converts) rarely if ever find the certainty and contentment they are seeking and they end up perennially discontented or viewing it as slavery.

She isn't acting under orders, she's basically trying to justify her own choices.

TBH I don't expect it to be a complete failure. If you have seen the state of nu-dragonage fans, either on the subreddit, discord or the comments for the trailers, you will see that a lot of them are women, faggots and other assorted leftists who hate games and actually enjoy the glorified visual novel style of modern AAA games, and of course, all the retarded romance shit and quirky marvel characters. They don't want tactical/strategic combat or having to plan character builds, just fast button spam and flashy animations with difficulty being learning patterns by trial and error.
I mean, there is the possibility that much of the engagement is manufactured bots. Many of the top comments on that video are all "ERM SWOOPING IS BAD?", "I HOPE WE CAN PET THE GRIFFON D", but that could just as easily be redditors and fangirls.
And unlike Concord, this is an established IP that's fairly popular and is a singleplayer "game". The so-called modern audience doesn't play toxic online PVP games, but it does exist for singleplayer narrative slop like TLOU, modern GoW, etc.
All of the old fans will have jumped ship by now for sure, but after Inquisition and all the other crap it has attracted a new replacement audience. Whether they will actually buy the game though, we will see.

Yeah the fandom is Tumblr trannies, bored White girls and maaybe an actual mixed race person. Also plenty of homosexuals. That are not even particularly interested in the setting or narrative, much less the gaming aspects-just the visual novel experience, romances and wholesome feels.

 

[Mola Ram]

I suppose this could be an interesting dichotomy if it were intentional, but it appears to just be something Bioware stumbled into.

Supposedly the big twist with the elven gods being psychotic shitbags was always intended, right from the first game. It was only a question of whether the series would go on long enough to reveal it and do something with it. This is pretty well supported by the fact that nothing in Origins contradicts what we've found out so far; the codex entries are merely biased and colored by myth.

 

[Ishtar]

Supposedly the big twist with the elven gods being psychotic shitbags was always intended, right from the first game. It was only a question of whether the series would go on long enough to reveal it and do something with it. This is pretty well supported by the fact that nothing in Origins contradicts what we've found out so far; the codex entries are merely biased and colored by myth.

Yeah there's a war axe you can find when you kill the dragon at the temple of sacred ashes that gives some very slight hints to Solas.

And...Tamlen goes through a corrupted eluvian. Meaning its possible he went into the golden city and saw Ghillan'ain.

Gaider and IIRC a few of the other writers have to their credit always had a relatively clear idea where the lore was going, as opposed to Mass Effect where the reapers' motivations were not nailed down until the last game.

Didn't Egghead "kill" Flemeth at the end of that game, though? I suppose she could pull another contingency plan and jump into Morrigan's body, I guess.

This game can endear itself to me if it goes tranny balls to the walls and bring back the Warden and Hawke along with the Inquisitor as surprise companions mid- or late game. It'd be nice to give these protagonists some closure without going all Darth Revan, especially for the Warden.

I read somewhere the game isn't even going to clarify what happened to the person left in the fade. They are never bringing the HoF back(and with the calling, the timeframe to even have the warden succeed in their quest is running out), and Hawke's now a quantum character-something Bioware doesn't want to have to deal with anymore.

They will probably leave whether or not Hawke/Stroud/Alistair/Loghain survived or not up for a hypothetical fifth game(that is unlikely to happen). But Hawke is definitely not in this game.

 

[BlankSpaceBaby]

So Taash is nonbinary. A nonbinary Qunari.

Sigh. So that means there exist a colony of pronoun Quns running around looking like moclans from The Orville (just add horns) to service as Patrick, sorry, Trick Weekes's self inserts. Got it.

 

[LovisXVI]

A nonbinary Qunari.

I am pretty sure the Qun (as presented in the only good DA game) would not recognize such a state. Purpose unclear, reeducation mandated.

 

[Janusz z Gliwic]

I am pretty sure the Qun (as presented in the only good DA game) would not recognize such a state. Purpose unclear, reeducation mandated.

Yeah, in DAO Sten was confused about female warriors and if you played as woman, he'd ask why do you want to be a man. Can't remember how exactly it was retconned but in either DA2 or DAI (I think it was Iron Bull in DAI) it was said quanari have some special name or something for troons.

 

[BlankSpaceBaby]

The Arishok is Dragon Age 2 is as hard and unbending as Sten, even more so. I am playing that game now so I'm receiving his complaints about how the people in Kirkwall don't know their places in society, etc and basically needs to be purged in a fire.

Qunari turning into a furry convention started in Dragon Age Inquisition when Patrick Weekes got his hands on Iron Bull. Weekes likes to make everything he touches to be nonbinary like he identifies as, and Taash is his, so...

 

[Nonga Tork]

I am pretty sure the Qun (as presented in the only good DA game) would not recognize such a state. Purpose unclear, reeducation mandated.

At least the trans qunari in Inquisition had the figleaf that it's possible the Qun would view a woman acting in a masculine role as being a man regardless of biological sex. But yeah, there's no way non-binary is a thing in the Qun.

 

[Deus Exica]

I just don't wanna pay good money and have to see niggers honestly.

Relatable. If you ask me to part with seventy dollars I'd better not be forced to look at any fucking niggers.

fucking Jacob

Jacob is the only romanceable black male in Mass Effect and he is the only one who will cheat on you between games lol. True to life.

The asari, turians, and salarians were all basically just humans with funny hats.

Despite all being humanoid I would say Mass Effect put more effort than most sci-fi into making the aliens feel alien while keeping everything relatable. They even make a point to highlight the different DNA composition between the races and how that would effect food consumption.

Mass effect 1-3 is honestly pretty based. It's that old school sci-fi where racism is justified.

The Ofiri were invented for the Hearts Of Stone DLC in response to criticism that the Witcher 3 setting was too white.

I love that they added a bunch of Muslims to the setting and the first thing Geralt does is slice them up, reducing Velen's brownoid population to a grand total of one.

Someone at CD Project used to be very based.