Dove Reviews - Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Children?

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I'd give anything for them to review The Hunchback of Notre Dame and how it portrays gypsies in a positive way and Good Christian Frollo has a song about how horny he is

oh and it has gargoyles
 
Piga Dgrifm said:
Super Mario
SEX: Princess kisses Mario
LANGUAGE: The term "Mama Mia" is used
VIOLENCE: Turtles are stomped on, a princess is kidnapped
DRUGS: Players are encouraged to eat mushrooms to gain super powers
NUDITY: Bowser wears no pants
OTHER: Features dinosaurs
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I figure that they would find something to get offended about, even with games like Sunset, or I Get This Call Everyday.
 
These niggas would think Dora The Explorer Journey To The Purple Planet is satanic for acknowledging space exists
 
They gave the Captain Underpants movie, which is based on a children’s book, a 12+. Here are some of the most ridiculous reasons why:

  • Professor Poopypants getting hit by a car 3 times and surviving.
  • The lines “More or less, except the emphasis is on the ‘Poop’.” and “Your parents are obviously total failures.”
  • Professor Poopypants calling Melvin a “grade-A suck up”.
  • George and Harold messing around with the Turbo Toilet 2000 at the Invention Convention.
 
Gee, I wonder why Dove Reviews didn't approve of the Glee movie!

Unfortunately there are sexual innuendos and gestures in some of the moves of the performers and in the song lyrics, and one of the controversial content issues in the film is the fact that some celebrate being gay, with a few young men wearing “I Like Boys” T-shirts. One young man tells his story and that he is proud of “coming out” and of being gay. This won’t set well with a lot of our conservative viewers and we wanted to give a word of caution. One performer grabs his crotch like Michael Jackson on more than one occasion. Due to the sex content issues, we are unable to award this film our Dove Seal.
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ColumbiaBinks said:
  • Professor Poopypants calling Melvin a “grade-A suck up”.
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Literally what? How is that inappropriate?

http://www.dove.org/review/12495-the-emoji-movie/

From a Dove perspective, the movie has several positive themes including the importance of taking risks and that it takes all kinds of “emojis” or “people” to make the world go ’round.
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Just find it funny that they'd say that since any movie that mentions The Gay is forbidden.
 
Cake Farts said:
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How do these people watch nature documentaries, then? Do they cover their children's eyes when penguins steal rocks from one another, or when goats butt heads?
 
Effective January 1st, 2009, The Dove Foundation Review Team has ceased reviewing all NC-17 rated movies and certain extraordinarily explicit R-rated films. This decision was reached due to the fact that Dove reviewers are parents or grandparents with conservative values. As such, we feel that we can no longer expose these dedicated and caring people to movies that contain distasteful and appalling stories that are focused on graphic horror and violence, and/or gratuitous depictions of explicit sex and nudity. “Fifty Shades of Grey” is considered to be such a film. Our report is therefore limited to the business information (title, rating, distributor, producer, director, actors, etc), synopsis, and the content chart.
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Who has a Bible? Go for a trip in Leviticus and Songs of Solomon for porn. The latter especially talks about drinking of a woman's supple bosom and of her nectar.
 
m0rnutz said:
Who has a Bible? Go for a trip in Leviticus and Songs of Solomon for porn. The latter especially talks about drinking of a woman's supple bosom and of her nectar.
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I'm betting the people who run the Dove Organization never actually read the bible. If they had, and assuming they aren't complete "It's okay when the bible does it" hypocrites if they did. They'd give it a 0 out of 5 for all the violence, rape, cursing and blasphemy that happens in it.
 
m0rnutz said:
Who has a Bible? Go for a trip in Leviticus and Songs of Solomon for porn. The latter especially talks about drinking of a woman's supple bosom and of her nectar.
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Fifty Shades of Grey wasn't "extraordinarily explicit" - the film completely pussied out. There were no dick shots and nothing beyond spanking in the end. France was about to give it an all-ages rating and described it as "a film that won't shock a lot of people."

The only way that could be determined as "extraordinarily explicit" is if you live in a hut somewhere with only the Bible and the Dove Channel to entertain you. Oh, fuck, wait.
 
Piga Dgrifm said:
Super Mario
SEX: Princess kisses Mario
LANGUAGE: The term "Mama Mia" is used
VIOLENCE: Turtles are stomped on, a princess is kidnapped
DRUGS: Players are encouraged to eat mushrooms to gain super powers
NUDITY: Bowser wears no pants
OTHER: Features dinosaurs
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Legend of Zelda
SEX: Link has a crush on the Princess, sometimes Crossdresses
LANGUAGE: None. Luckily Link doesn't talk so he can't say naughty things.
VIOLENCE: Protagonist swings dangerous objects like swords to kill enemies
DRUGS: Potions get drunk. Quite possibly referencing Alcohol consumption.
OTHER: Depiction of humanoids with a distinct non-Christian culture.
 
Effective January 1st, 2009, The Dove Foundation Review Team has ceased reviewing all NC-17 rated movies and certain extraordinarily explicit R-rated films. This decision was reached due to the fact that Dove reviewers are parents or grandparents with conservative values. As such, we feel that we can no longer expose these dedicated and caring people to movies that contain distasteful and appalling stories that are focused on graphic horror and violence, and/or gratuitous depictions of explicit sex and nudity. “Fifty Shades of Grey” is considered to be such a film. Our report is therefore limited to the business information (title, rating, distributor, producer, director, actors, etc), synopsis, and the content chart.
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Damn, I guess I'll never know if my kids can watch the South park movie :(
 
Jungle Princess said:
I'd love to see them review Puella Magi Madoka Magica.
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I was amazed to find a sane parental review from a larger organization that can sometimes be Dove-level harsh (15+ for Homestar Runner? Really?).

I imagine Dove Reviews would be most scandalized by a few scenes in which the possibility of girls crushing on other girls is brought up rather than the significant violence and darkness.
 
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