Disney General - The saddest fandom on Earth

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Which is Better

  • Chicken Little

    Votes: 433 27.4%
  • Hunchback 2

    Votes: 57 3.6%
  • A slow death

    Votes: 1,088 68.9%

  • Total voters
    1,578
I bet Hercules gets remade in the style of a typical action movie like how Clash of the Titans Remake and Gods of Egypt were.

All these remakes share one thing in common, they're entirely devoid of humor.
 
They already did do a midquil, that was the Hercules TV series. But if they have to do something a sequel based on Jason and the Argonauts would be the best bet. I mean, they already heavily changed and sanitized the original myths for the original movie. If Hera can be his loving mother instead of the furious wife of a husband who cheated on her with a mortal (for the millionth fucking time), nobody is going to care if Hercules becomes the main character instead of Jason.
 
They already did do a midquil, that was the Hercules TV series. But if they have to do something a sequel based on Jason and the Argonauts would be the best bet. I mean, they already heavily changed and sanitized the original myths for the original movie. If Hera can be his loving mother instead of the furious wife of a husband who cheated on her with a mortal (for the millionth fucking time), nobody is going to care if Hercules becomes the main character instead of Jason.
I'm partially aware of the show and that it had its own Jason and the Argonauts episode, but that doesn't mean they can't make another midquel, specifically one depicting the labors in Zero to Hero with more detail instead of teen Hercules doing high school shit. Although the TV show was fine if I remember right and I did like these two characters but it doesn't seem to take place in the same continuity as the film for a number of reasons (like Hercules knowing about Hades and the Titans and vice versa), so having Hercules team up with the Argonauts again wouldn't really be an issue, especially since it was only a one and done episode. Hercules could easily be the main character replacing Jason or become his first mate before being promoted to captain. There's a lot of stuff they can do while still adding elements or references to the original Argonauts while parodying them in a good way. If they throw in the Icarus from the TV show that would be a nice bonus. But none of that is ever gonna happen sadly, and if it does they'll just have Meg overshadow Hercules in some way and have Jason plow Icarus's labyrinth.
 
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It's not gonna work. The original was too zany, very cartoony in general. That type of stuff doesn't translate well to live action unless it's turned into one of those creepy Cat in the Hat movies. It was also kinda frivolous with poking fun at pop culture, and I don't see that happening in current day Disney unless it's to make a WokeTM statement.
Going the Gods of Egypt route also doesn't work, since those type of films are usually box office poison...
 
I mean technically the original Hercules was woke for its time with the Muses and Megura acting like she didn't need no man to save her, and Herc was a pretty boy who although proud of his strength got a bit too proud/whiny for a male protagonist of his stature, and you could claim Pain and Panic are gay based on their mannerisms.

Don't fix what ain't broke, Disney, but you're not gonna listen to the masses because I guess gospel music for a Greek setting is politically/culturally incorrect now. That's the only reason these movies are getting remade because something about the original was problematic to someone.
 
I mean technically the original Hercules was woke for its time with the Muses and Megura acting like she didn't need no man to save her, and Herc was a pretty boy who although proud of his strength got a bit too proud/whiny for a male protagonist of his stature, and you could claim Pain and Panic are gay based on their mannerisms.

Don't fix what ain't broke, Disney, but you're not gonna listen to the masses because I guess gospel music for a Greek setting is politically/culturally incorrect now. That's the only reason these movies are getting remade because something about the original was problematic to someone.

Not because of the money? Otherwise they'd have remade The Aristocats by now...
 
Not because of the money? Otherwise they'd have remade The Aristocats by now...

That'll come in due time at the rate these announcements are going as they dig through their archives, a Rescuers live-action would have to come first if I were to make a bet. If they announce a live-action Black Cauldron movie, then--actually, that would be a good thing because at least it's a movie that really could use some improvement, albeit the announcement would be concerning because of how the Horned King would be treated (or replaced).

Really, if they were so smart, the live-action remakes would've only been limited to the movies that, even with their fans, really could've used the improvement and bring something new to the table. Pete's Dragon could've and should've done something impressive in a modern take but it didn't, which is why it's so forgettable compared to the original musical. If for these movies they were to go down the route of how Hook did it (not a Disney movie, but they almost were involved), that'd be wonderful, but that's not safe enough, I guess. Even sticking to the original source material isn't doing them any good judging by Mulan.

I'm just tired of how this list keeps on growing. All the funnier if they get egg on their face over and over again, but there's too much to keep track of. It's too much.
 
That'll come in due time at the rate these announcements are going as they dig through their archives, a Rescuers live-action would have to come first if I were to make a bet. If they announce a live-action Black Cauldron movie, then--actually, that would be a good thing because at least it's a movie that really could use some improvement, albeit the announcement would be concerning because of how the Horned King would be treated (or replaced).

Really, if they were so smart, the live-action remakes would've only been limited to the movies that, even with their fans, really could've used the improvement and bring something new to the table. Pete's Dragon could've and should've done something impressive in a modern take but it didn't, which is why it's so forgettable compared to the original musical. If for these movies they were to go down the route of how Hook did it (not a Disney movie, but they almost were involved), that'd be wonderful, but that's not safe enough, I guess. Even sticking to the original source material isn't doing them any good judging by Mulan.

I'm just tired of how this list keeps on growing. All the funnier if they get egg on their face over and over again, but there's too much to keep track of. It's too much.

So am I, but the best way to stop it from growing is to not see these things. Don't give them money, they'll starve.

After CATS became the biggest box office bomb of the decade (apart from Mars Needs Moms), I don't think any movie studios are going to release any films with CGI/live action cats ever again. At least not in our lifetimes.

If they did, at least the cats wouldn't be disgusting, humanoid monstrosities. There'd still be a lot of uncanny valley involved, depending on what they do with the cats' musical numbers. (The soundtrack would definitely be better than Cats, of course.)
 
If they did, at least the cats wouldn't be disgusting, humanoid monstrosities. There'd still be a lot of uncanny valley involved, depending on what they do with the cats' musical numbers. (The soundtrack would definitely be better than Cats, of course.)

Hey, as long as they include this song, I'll be game.

 
After CATS became the biggest box office bomb of the decade (apart from Mars Needs Moms), I don't think any movie studios are going to release any films with CGI/live action cats ever again. At least not in our lifetimes.
The furry and weeb audience are too large to be ignored for too long. Thankfully the weebs would be perfectly happy if the cat people are entirely human with cat ears and tails. Furries however just need to bathe and thoroughly soak in napalm before ignited.
 
The furry and weeb audience are too large to be ignored for too long. Thankfully the weebs would be perfectly happy if the cat people are entirely human with cat ears and tails. Furries however just need to bathe and thoroughly soak in napalm before ignited.

That's why they're remaking Robin Hood.
 
Not because of the money? Otherwise they'd have remade The Aristocats by now...
Aristocats is unironaically a great movie, despite all of the shit that it gets. If they were to ever remake it as a live action movie, you better believe the Maus will be culturally enriching the fuck out of 1900s Paris a la Doctor Who. Ngl, I kinda want to see if they have the balls to include a scene where the female cats get harassed by some Algerian mice for being immodest in public.
 
Oh boy, a live action Hercules? Well here are some early predictions of what to expect.
  • No James Woods as Hades (that is an obvious guess)
  • An uncanny valley CGI monstrosity of Phil (Danny DeVito may still provide the voice)
  • With Disney's tendency to have actors appear in multiple properties they own in recent years, I can see Chris Hemsworth as Hercules, Anthony Hopkins as Zeus, and Megara played by either Tessa Thompson (piggybacking off @SmugAutist post) or Emma Watson.
 
Oh boy, a live action Hercules? Well here are some early predictions of what to expect.
  • No James Woods as Hades (that is an obvious guess)
  • An uncanny valley CGI monstrosity of Phil (Danny DeVito may still provide the voice)
  • With Disney's tendency to have actors appear in multiple properties they own in recent years, I can see Chris Hemsworth as Hercules, Anthony Hopkins as Zeus, and Megara played by either Tessa Thompson (piggybacking off @SmugAutist post) or Emma Watson.

How uncanny valley? Danny DeVito's face plastered on a satyr's body?
 
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